Want More Love In Your Life? Find Your Passion First - Goodlife Zen

Want More Love In Your Life? Find Your Passion First


A guest post by Barrie Davenport of Live Bold and Bloom.

What would you do to find more love in your life?

Here’s a little story about the power of love that has led us to this very day — Valentine’s Day.

In the heyday of the Roman Empire, the Lupercian Festival was held every February to honor the god of fertility. It was a passionate month in which young men would choose their marriage mates. The Emperor Claudius, fearing men would abandon their military duty to pursue their passions, outlawed marriage.

The Catholic Bishop Valentine, who had untapped passions of his own, began to secretly marry young couples in love. Claudius arrested him and sentenced him to be beheaded. While in prison, Valentine fell in love with the jailer’s daughter. On the day of his execution, he wrote her one last note and signed it: “from your Valentine.” He literally lost his head over love.

You don’t have to lose your head for love. But you do need to find your passion. I’m not referring to that kind of passion. You need to discover your passion for life, for yourself, for the world around you.

A person who has discovered their passion is irresistibly attractive to others. You have met them before — people who exude a sense of joie de vivre. They have a natural joy and enthusiasm that permeates their entire being and impacts everyone around them.

The art of being irresistibly attractive to others requires that we do something which can be quite difficult. It requires us to love and respect ourselves enough to live to our fullest potential — to discover and live our passion.

Only when we see ourselves as lovable and embrace our own authentic qualities, needs, ideas, values, and personality traits, do we release the pheromones of attractiveness to others. Although not everyone will be intrigued by your authenticity, those who are attracted to you will generally be emotionally intelligent, mature individuals who value genuine and unaffected relationships.

The quality of the relationships and love we attract is a reflection of the quality of life we choose for ourselves. So ask yourself, are you living to your fullest potential? Have you discovered your passion in life?

If not, or if you feel there is more to life than what you are living right now, then I invite you to try this brief exercise from the comfort of your chair.

As you are reading this post, step outside of yourself for a moment, and become the detached observer of your life.

Mentally view the various aspects of your life — your career, your relationships, your finances, your health, your lifestyle, your home, and your life balance. As you do this mental review, become aware of the places where your life is deeply fulfilling and joyful.

Then become aware of areas of ambivalence and mediocrity — not bad, but not great. And finally, take a look at the areas in which your life is depleting you and making you restless and unhappy.

As you begin to craft a life that has more of what is deeply fulfilling and joyful, and less of the mediocre and depleting, you will not only attract, but demand, relationships in your life that equally fulfilling and joyful.

So how does one go about discovering a passion and living it daily? From my own experience, I see this as a very strategic process. It is not always a linear process, but by following specific steps, you will be able to make enough small change for the better to generate the momentum to make the really big changes.

Here’s an outline of what’s involved:

Know Thyself.

You need to understand what makes you tick, what motivates you, where you get your energy, how you perceive the world and others. Most of us don’t take the time to learn more about our personalities and why we behave and operate in the world the way we do. When you have that clarity about yourself, it helps you focus on what is natural and right for who you really are — not who you wish you were or who others want you to be. One of the best ways to start this process is through personality assessments, like the Myers Briggs test.

Define Your Qualities.

You might have a general idea of your skills, values and interests, but have you really dug deep to determine which of those are imperative in your life? Determining the values that define you, the skills that enjoy (not just those that you are good at), and the interests that are fulfilling and fun, allows you to be creative and focused in how and where you spend your time and energy.

Create Your Roadmap.

Once you’ve gotten to know yourself better and defined what is really important to you, then you can begin to create a vision for your life. By outlining a rough life vision, based on your personality, values, skills, and interests, you will begin to feel your life has a purpose and mission. As you explore the many possible details of this vision, your purpose and mission will become more and more clear to you.

Remove the Roadblocks.

As you work toward defining the specific elements of your life vision, you may encounter emotional roadblocks that prevent you from taking the actions you need to take to make your vision real. Limiting beliefs, life imbalance, unresolved issues, and emotional reactions can prevent you from discovering your passion if you don’t address them.

Shift Your Mind.

The more you learn about yourself, you will begin having profound “ah ha” moments. Previous ways of thinking will be challenged. Things that you once accepted will no longer be acceptable. You will want to address unmet needs and remove tolerations from your life that have been sapping your energy and attention. Your perspective on what is good and right for you will open up.

Create Your Plan.

The last part of the process of discovering your passion is creating an action plan based on all you have learned about yourself. Based on all of the information you have gathered, there may be several options. You may have to travel down a few paths before you find the perfect road. That is normal and part of the learning experience. But armed with the self awareness and growth you have experienced, you will find your way and live a passionate life. Be patient and kind to yourself.

In celebration of Valentine’s Day, I am re-launching my self-study program, Discover Your Passion: A Step-By-Step Course for Creating the Life of Your Dreams, with 12 Free Bonuses, including a wonderful podcast from Mary Jaksch on developing habits.

If you want to discover your passion and open the door to attracting amazing, loving relationships in your life, I invite you to check out my self-study course and begin the journey to a new and passionate life.

Barrie Davenport is a personal and career coach and the founder of Live Bold and Bloom, a blog about bold and fearless living.

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About the author

Mary Jaksch

Mary is passionate about helping people create a happy, purposeful, and fulfilling life. She is the founder of GoodlifeZEN and also the brains behind WritetoDone.com, one of the biggest blogs for writers on the Net. Mary is also a Zen Master, a mother, and a 5th Degree Black Belt.

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