Improve Your Life By Wouter Few are those who see with their own eyes and feel with their own hearts. Einstein What do you do when you feel stuck in life? Do you listen to your heart? Or do you weigh the situation? Sum up pros and cons. Think about it. Then think about it some more. All the while you feel increasingly anxious and overwhelmed. You think: if only there was an easy solution to making difficult decisions. That would make your life simpler. Deep down inside you know your dreams, you know you accept too much BS from your boss, you know you want to live more in the present. Yet you struggle to act. Fears hold you back. “What about the money?”, “What about your partner’s feelings?”, “What if your boss fires you for finally speaking your mind?” You know there is a way out: Listen to your heart. But how? It’s easier said than done. Sometimes you hear your heart speaking. But it rarely lasts. The simple truth is that it works and it can work for you too. Why Your Mind Won’t Help You We live in a society ruled by rationality where logic is favored over intuition. From a young age we are expertly trained to use our minds, but we are never taught how to use our hearts. The mind and the heart have different qualities. The mind: Fears Thinks Looks at the clock Judges Is considered masculineWhile the heart: Loves Feels Is timeless Forgives Is considered feminine When building rockets, yes, logic comes in handy. But when it comes to your daily life, personal struggles and relationships it is terrible.Read on and discover practical ways how you can access the power of your heart in this moment. 1. You Know How to Listen to Your Heart Already. Don’t worry, I am not asking you to meditate, or write down your deepest thoughts. Although you have never formally learnt how to use your heart, you have already done it many times in your life. Recall a moment where you made a tough decision. This can be anything, as long as you enjoyed the outcome. Maybe you decided to quit your job. Maybe you decided to stay at home instead of going to a party. Whatever it is for you, go back to that moment. In that moment, what did you think? I bet there was a struggle going on in your mind. Scary reasons why you can’t quit your job. A list of reasons you should and shouldn’t go to the party. When you (finally) made that decision. What did you feel? Relief? Comfort? Discomfort? Excitement? Empowerment? Tension? Anxiety? If you felt positive emotions, you listened to your heart and acted on its advice. If you felt negative emotions, chances are you didn’t. To get the most from this exercise, write down: What good followed when you listened to your heart, or (in case you didn’t), How would things be different, if you had? By doing this simple exercise, you see that your heart is always there and always has your best interest at heart – pun intended. No matter how much you rationalize your life, realize you will always feel some form of discontent when you neglect your heart’s interest. 2. How to Be Inspired When You Need It Most Ironically when you need your heart the most, it is hardest to access. This exercise benefits you in three ways: It takes you right to your feelings. Your thinking goes to the background. You create an anchorpoint to your heart when the need is high. Make a list of what excites you so much you want to teleport to that moment right now. Make it as long as you want. I have a cheat sheet of things that give me that warm cozy feeling anytime I think of it. For example, I like campfires. My mind doesn’t interfere saying “I like the natural light to a dark background, but sometimes the smoke gets too much”. No, they make me feel good. Simple. When you feel overwhelmed bring up one or two of these beautiful moments. It disrupts your patterns of thought and brings you back to your feelings. 3. What Would [Insert Personal Hero] Do A change in perspective can make the difference you want. Asking friends or family for help is admirable, but it won’t necessarily help you get in touch with your feelings. Because your heart is yours and you have to walk the path, not someone else. So instead of asking the usual suspects. Try something different. Imagine you have a conversation with an inspirational person. Ask him or her specific answers to your dilemma. What would he do in this situation? What objections would he have? What would he say? Sometimes I have entire conversations with my imaginary friends. For different situations I have different heroes. It works, because your subconscious comes into play. By opening up to their answers, you block out your conscious, rational thoughts and give permission to your intuition to help out. The qualities and wisdom that you perceive in these characters will bubble up to the surface in the form of feelings, intuitive answers, visions or voices. 4. Make Sure Your Mind Doesn’t Interfere If the three exercises above didn’t do the trick for you, you can try one more thing. It will take you more time, but the effect is more profound. I personally like to do this when I have more impactful decisions to make. We established that your thoughts interfere with your heart’s wishes. By thinking, you dampen the voice of your heart. What will happen if you keep the mind busy enough to be content, but not too busy to require your full attention? You create space for your heart. A simple way to do this, is by doing a “mindless” activity. A task that requires a bit of your brain power, just to keep it distracted. To give you an idea of what you could do: Knitting Cooking Woodworking Painting Cleaning Making MusicMeanwhile, you create room for feelings to arise, listen to them and hear what they tell you. 5. Your First Step to Transforming Your Life Now you know easy ways to access your heart. I imagine you won’t make any life changing decisions purely based on your feelings straight away. First you want to test drive those feelings. Do mini-experiments. Try something small and see what good comes from it when you let your heart guide you. This way you create a positive feedback loop. You will see, I promise, that inspiring things will happen when you listen to your heart. The more positive feedback you get, the easier it will be for you. Listen To Your Heart – Your Awesome Future Awaits Now is the moment to bring your heart to the world. You no longer get caught up in your head, feeling overwhelmed and anxious. Instead you feel calm and at peace. You speak your mind. You end bad relationships and create new, loving ones. You feel grounded and confident to follow your feelings. Let your heart show you the way and create the life that you deserve today. Bio: Wouter is on a lifelong mission to help people from all backgrounds discover their full potential. Checkout his Free Little Guide To Mindfulness (Even If You Have No Time) Image courtesy of Pixabay
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