What to Say When You Don’t Know What to Say

A guest post by Madeleine Kolb of Age Myths

When a terrible tragedy—such as the death of a child—strikes a friend or neighbor or co-worker, what do you do? What do you say? What if you don’t know what to say? Do you say nothing to the grieving parent? Or worse of all, do you avoid her altogether?

Many of us struggle in this situation. We are stunned to hear of the death of a child or young adult whose parents we know. And we realize that we should say something, something comforting, to the parents. But what?

When Elders Die

Any death in a family is shocking. The death of an old person who’s been terminally ill for a long time still brings disbelief and sadness. The family grieves.  All who knew the person grieve.

When this happens in your own family,what comforts you is the support of others, the memories you share of good times, silly things your Uncle Bob did and said, things he was really good at and things he never quite got the hang of. But probably the most comforting thing is knowing that Uncle Bob lived a long, full life. Hard as it is to accept his death, there’s an inevitability about it. It’s in the natural order of things.

When Children Die

The death of a child, though, including a grown child, is different. It’s wrenching, unexpected, incomprehensible. It’s not supposed to happen this way. Children are supposed to live longer than their parents. When they don’t, the pain is unimaginable.

Friends and neighbors and co-workers—maybe even other family members–may not know what to do, what to say. Sometimes they say things that make the grieving parents feel even worse.

My Friend’s Son

The son of a dear friend died tragically when he was only 18. He and one of his class-mates were killed in an auto accident several days before their high school graduation. The driver and other teen-agers in the car were not injured.

It was every parent’s nightmare. My friend was awakened by a knock on his door in the middle of the night. Standing there was a deputy sheriff who handed him a piece of paper with the phone number of a hospital. By the time my friend got there, his son had died on the operating table.

What Not to Do

Before the funeral my friend heard from many friends, but afterward people began to avoid him. “I became a pariah,” he says.

Once during that period, my friend was walking down the street when he saw a man he knew coming the other way. The man, a minister, crossed the street, passed by, and crossed back. Perhaps he thought my friend didn’t notice.

What Not to Say

Most people will probably not go to such extremes. Nearly all of us would stop to talk to a friend whose child has just died, and we’d find words which comfort our friend.

Some people, though, say exactly the wrong thing. This happened to my friend many times. Some examples:

“It’s all part of God’s plan.” or “God needed another flower for his garden.”

You may be thinking, “What’s wrong with that? He meant well; he was just trying to be comforting.” My friend was raised with religious beliefs, but he was not comforted by these easy platitudes. On the contrary–they made him feel worse.

“Put it behind you.” or “You’ve got to get on with your life.”

Well-meaning, but completely clueless, people said this to my friend just days after his son was killed. He did get on with his life–in his own way and in his own time. But it’s been over 20 years, and it’s not entirely behind him. It never will be. And every year the dates of his son’s birth and of his death bring it all back and make him very sad.

“I know exactlyhow you feel.”

Even if you have lost a child and know how devastating that can be, don’t say this. Instead say something like, “It’s a terrible shock, such a loss. We lost our daughter when she was 16.”

“You can have other children.”

I’m making a real effort to understand this, but who could say such a thing? If you want another child, have another child, but not as a replacement for one who has died. Have a child with her own special set of traits and quirks and abilities, a child you will cherish for herself.

What Not to Ask

The last Not-to-Do is asking a lot of questions or pressing for details about the death. And here’s the reason. In the U.S., people over 65 die primarily of natural causes, the most common being heart disease, cancer, and stroke, in that order.

But the most common cause of death in children and young adults (ages 1-34) is unintentional injury, such as the auto accident which killed my friend’s 18-year-old son.

The second and third most common causes of death for pre-teens, teenagers and young adults (ages 10 to 34) in the U.S. is homicide or suicide (based on 2006 data from the U.S. Centers for Disease Control).

What parent wants to discuss his daughter’s suicide with curious co-workers? And who wants to describe how her son was thrown from a car and slowly bled to death by the side of the road? Even if there’s been an article in the local newspaper about the death, don’t ask for details.

My Own Son

My own son Jonathan, a young adult, died four months ago. He was living in Boston, and I was living in Seattle at the time. (I’ve since moved to the East Coast). I got the dreaded phone call telling me that Jonathan was dead at about 6:00 am. It was completely unexpected, shocking, hard to believe. It’s still hard to believe.

My situation was different from my friend’s in that his son was younger when he died, my friend and his son lived in the same town, and many people in town knew both of them. My son was a young adult who lived thousands of miles from me, and most of the people who knew Jonathan and me were people I’d worked with in Boston years ago.

What to Say

Many of them sent emails or hand-written cards or left comments in his Guest Book on www.legacy.com. (I’d never heard of that website before, but it sets up guest books for those whose obituaries are published in newspapers, such as the Boston Globe.)

After my son died, I checked out the website often and read what friends had written. There were wonderful comments that expressed condolences and shared fond memories of Jonathan. Some examples:

We were so sorry to hear of Jon’s passing. We have so many fond memories of him hanging out with the Cod Squad, celebrating the last Patriot’s Super Bowl win at our house but most of all we’ll remember  the beautiful days sailing with Jon on Evergreen on Boston Harbor. God bless you, Jon…

We think of Jon everyday as we pass the dog house he lovingly built by hand for our pug, Louie. Jon and Bob were active some years back in the Coast Guard Auxilary….

I met Jon as an infant and saw him grow into a nice polite, likeable young man. For many years, we would re-meet at the annual apple picking party in October….

One of the hand-written cards enclosed a picture of an apple picking party several years ago which Jonathan had attended. For months I couldn’t bring myself to open the cards. When my BF and I moved from Seattle, I packed them up and kept them on my desk until just a few days ago.

That’s what you say to comfort a friend whose child has died: You say that you were so sorry to hear about her child; you say that your friend is in your thoughts; you talk about your memories and the good times you shared with her child; and you say how much you will miss him. If you do this, your friend will appreciate it and be comforted by it. She will never forget your thoughtfulness and kindness.

Madeleine Kolb writes about the grim myths and the positive realities of growing older at Age Myths. You can subscribe to Age Myths by RSS feed or e-mail.

Photos by  jamesjordan (top) and erikaemergency (side)

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  1. Manal says:

    This is a very emotional post. You raise some very important points about how we approach death and loss and how we can offer our comfort and support.

    I don’t know if it is easier for us (humans) to write about things like sharing memories and celebrating one’s life vs. talking about them.

    For me when I get emotional I choke so I tend to say less and less. Maybe it is better to communicate some of the most heartfelt memories and experiences in personal written notes. And offer condolences in person (verbally) for support without putting our foot in our mouth with some of the stuff you referred to above (like you can have other children). I’m going to ponder this for a while 🙂

    Thank you for sharing your experience and what came with it. It takes strength and courage. Your message will stay with me.
    .-= Manal´s last blog ..Our Place in the Universe: How to Navigate Life from a Cosmic Perspective =-.

    • Madeleine Kolb says:

      @Manal,
      “Maybe it is better to communicate some of the most heartfelt memories and experiences in personal written notes.”

      I’ve thought about this too, Manal, and I think that it is easier to write than to talk about your memories of one who has died, especially a child. When you write, you have a chance to collect your thoughts in private and to tear up what you’ve written and start over if you want. I’m sure that’s one reason my friend’s experience and mine were so different.

      “For me when I get emotional I choke so I tend to say less and less. ”

      I also wonder whether our culture doesn’t still expect men to be less emotional than women. That would perhaps explain the “Get it behind you” remarks. I heard a remarkable speech in Toastmasters once on this theme by a man whose 29-year-old daughter had died of cancer; it was called “It’s OK for dads to cry.”

      I really appreciate your comment.

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    .-= Topi´s last blog ..The power of a "power break" – guest post at Positively Present =-.

  3. Mary Jaksch says:

    This is an extraordinary post, Madeleine. I deeply appreciate that you are sharing it here with all of us.

    Your post reminded me of the time when my father died. It was a family tragedy because my mother caused the accident that killed him.
    I had only just turned 18. My brother George and I were called home and found the house sealed by the police, our mother in hospital gravely injured, and my father dead. We had to endure a state funeral (my father was a politician). It was dark and bizarre.

    Hans, a good friend of mine – who is still one of my closest friends – responded in a beautiful way. (He and I used to go climbing together). Hans fetched me in his car and then we drove around all afternoon. Aimlessly. I think we hardly talked. But the silence and sense of protective friendship was exactly what I needed.

    • Madeleine Kolb says:

      @Mary Jaksch,

      Mary, What a tragic thing to happen. So dark and bizarre–and yet public–because of your father’s position. How hard to go through all that as a young girl.

      And it is remarkable and essential that some people like your friend Hans know just the right thing to do. He sounds like a real treasure.

      Finally, I want to thank you for your encouragement. It’s been a great help to me in sharing the lessons of my experience, and I am very grateful.

  4. Jamie Pixon says:

    “My own son Jonathan, a young adult, died four months ago. He was living in Boston, and I was living in Seattle at the time. ”

    Very sorry to hear this. This post is very powerful and took extraordinary heart.

    I was going to write I have a freind who has cancer and it just doesn’t look good. It’s very sad.

    It’s all sad…..

    • Madeleine Kolb says:

      @Jamie Pixon,
      Jamie, I appreciate your comment.

      I’m sorry about your friend. It is so sad that someone you care about is dying. All you can do is write to him from your heart. It’s sounds as if you’re a true friend, thoughtful and caring.

  5. Jenny Hones says:

    Oh Madeleine, my heart goes out to you. Just reading this brought a lump in my throat and tears to my eyes. I can’t imagine your feelings, I’m so sorry of your loss. Thank you for teaching me what to say, what not to say and what I can do to show empathy to those who have lost loved ones.
    .-= Jenny Hones´s last blog ..Children’s Day and Symbolism =-.

    • Madeleine Kolb says:

      @Jenny Hones,
      Jenny, Thank you so much. It was devastating to learn that my son had died, but it was really comforting to know that my friends cared for him and had memories of great times together. Even hearing from his friends whom I’d never met helped me.

      Such simple things to say and yet so helpful.

  6. Udaysree says:

    thank you for sharing this very helpful post. i’ve always been at a loss of what to say or not to say in such a situation…

  7. Thank you Madeleine for having the courage to write about something we all really need to hear. I believe there are a lot of people who are terrified of saying the wrong thing and so avoid the issue by saying nothing. It makes such perfect sense that simple memories of the person can be the most helpful and supportive words to share. I will keep this post bookmarked to remind myself and to share with others as needed.
    .-= Linda Gabriel´s last blog ..BDNF – Miracle-Gro for the Brain =-.

    • @Linda Gabriel,
      Linda, Thank you so much for your comment.

      “I believe there are a lot of people who are terrified of saying the wrong thing and so avoid the issue by saying nothing.”

      That’s so true (although, in my darker moments, I can’t help but think that some people aren’t terrified enough of saying the wrong thing). Even if you never knew the young one who has died, you can say something simple, like “You’ve been in my thoughts” to the parent.

      Another thing that occurs to me is that acknowleging the death and your
      friend’s grief helps you as well. Two times co-workers of mine have lost a spouse or long-time boy-friend, and–when they returned to work–other co-workers avoided them. I had a longish talk with each of them and felt very good when I saw the palpable look of relief and gratitude which came over the face of the person as we talked.
      .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..SALT Talks: 5 Reasons Why the Government Shouldn’t Set Sodium Standards =-.

    • @Linda Gabriel,
      Thank you so much for your comment, Linda. It is amazing what a difference it makes to have a friend or co-worker acknowledge the death of a child and share a memory. It’s the same when a co-worker loses his spouse. Once the wife of a man I worked with died, and when he returned to work, people tended to avoid him. I talked to him about his wife (whom I didn’t know). And I sensed that our conversation made both of us feel better. That was a real relevation for me!
      .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..SALT Talks: 5 Reasons Why the Government Shouldn’t Set Sodium Standards =-.

  8. JoAnn Melton says:

    This is such an important topic.
    Two of the items I am most proud of writing were so carefully constructed in relationship to tragedy. One situation related to a crime of murder, then a suicide, leaving behind an innocent wife who knew very few people in our area. I still have the note she mailed to me saying, “In a time when my long walk to the mailbox was filmed by TV news crews, what a joy it was to see a note from you.” The other that I remember had to do with a national tragedy when bodies were scattered over the ocean for many days while our entire town waited for the news we hoped was not true. The words truly appeared through me in a quiet hour asking for the right words. The family was so touched, they closed the service with my words. Both of the recipients told me how much it meant to them at the time when so many shied away not knowing what to say. If you are afraid you will say the wrong thing, write some thoughts – it means so much to the family to have them to read on special occasions.

  9. Hi Madeleine,
    I am sorry to hear about the death of your son. It sounds as if Jonathan was a caring and energetic young man who gave of himself and brought much happiness to the people he touched. Thank you for sharing.
    Peace and healing,
    Jane
    .-= Jane Rochelle´s last blog ..Is Your Flow Slow? 5 Ways to Keep It Moving =-.

  10. Farnoosh says:

    This is an unexpected post in my inbox. I just recently subscribed to Goodlifezen and I sat here with dripping wet hair and every intent to finish something else and read every word. I am so very very sorry for your loss. I have no idea what to say but I have enough tact and common sense NOT to say the things that you suggest avoiding – and it’s just a terrible tragedy when children (of any age) die for any parent. Perhaps that is one reason that keeps me from committing to having children in my life. I cannot imagine losing them.
    Thank you for a very touching post. I learned something and I am again sorry for your loss.

    • @Farnoosh,
      Farnoosh, I can picture you sitting there, as you say, with dripping wet hair reading this post.

      “…and it’s just a terrible tragedy when children (of any age) die for any parent. Perhaps that is one reason that keeps me from committing to having children in my life. I cannot imagine losing them.”

      This is one of The Big Deep Questions in Life, isn’t it. Do I fall in love with this man, knowing that I may lose him? Do I conceive a child, knowing that something may go wrong? Or knowing that my child may be perfect but may die too soon? We each have to find our own answers and take things as they come.

      I really appreciate your comment.

      .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..SALT Talks: 5 Reasons Why the Government Shouldn’t Set Sodium Standards =-.

  11. Madeleine, what a heart breaking and yet ultimately heart warming article you have shared with us.

    Your words brought up a lot of what I went through when I lost my father over 2 years ago. Even now I can hardly believe it.

    I know we tried to speak a number of times a few months ago and I had no idea what you were going through – how does anyone cope?

    I am glad you are able to now share about your loss and at the same time guide us in your own way.

    And yes, let’s finally, finally speak one of these days – you can contact me anytime:-)

    Thank you, my friend.
    .-= Arvind Devalia´s last blog ..Honour and Love Your Mother Every Day, Not Just on Mother’s Day =-.

  12. Mark says:

    This is such an important topic.Two of the items I am most proud of writing were so carefully constructed in relationship to tragedy. One situation related to a crime of murder, then a suicide, leaving behind an innocent wife who knew very few people in our area. I still have the note she mailed to me saying, “In a time when my long walk to the mailbox was filmed by TV news crews, what a joy it was to see a note from you.” The other that I remember had to do with a national tragedy when bodies were scattered over the ocean for many days while our entire town waited for the news we hoped was not true. The words truly appeared through me in a quiet hour asking for the right words. The family was so touched, they closed the service with my words. Both of the recipients told me how much it meant to them at the time when so many shied away not knowing what to say. If you are afraid you will say the wrong thing, write some thoughts – it means so much to the family to have them to read on special occasions.
    +1

  13. Tess says:

    I’m coming a little late to this post but I’m drawn to comment. It is so beautifully written, with no hint of self-pity, a tribute to love and loss. Four months ago is so recent, so raw.

    My nephew, my oldest brother’s son, was killed in a motorbike accident a few years ago. He was 35. Not so very young perhaps, but with so much unfilled potential still ahead of him.

    I am so sorry for your loss of Jon, and that you’ve reached out from that experience to share this excellent practical advice. Thank you.
    .-= Tess´s last blog ..Politics: what’s the point? =-.

  14. Tess, Thank you for your empathetic comment. Losing a child or nephew or other young family member is heart-breaking not only when he is a little boy but when he’s grown into a young man. It’s hard to acccept that his life was cut short, that–as you say– there is “so much unfilled potential still ahead of him.”
    .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..SALT Talks: 5 Reasons Why the Government Shouldn’t Set Sodium Standards =-.

  15. I am so sorry for your loss! *hug* This post hit close to home, as I miscarried a few times, every times some “well meaning” friend or relative had said things that seemed so unhelpful to me at the time. We as a society are not taught how to deal with death and what to say.

    I am more sensitive to others in same situations because I have been there, otherwise I suspect I might be one of these “well meaning” folks.
    .-= Zengirl @ Heart and Mind´s last blog ..Why we can not win on 100 things minimalist race! =-.

  16. Thank you so much for your comment and for the virtual hug. I too miscarried twice before my son was born. As you say, at such a time friends sometimes say things that are not helpful at all. I know that I felt not only the loss of the baby growing inside but also a fear that I might never be able to have children.

    “I am more sensitive to others in same situations because I have been there, otherwise I suspect I might be one of these “well meaning” folks.” This is an excellent point.

    I think that a post on “What Not to Say to a Pregnant Woman” would be really helpful to people.
    .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..Don’t Blog Alone, Join the A-List Blogging Bootcamp =-.

  17. Madeleine,
    It is so very courageous of you to share your story with all of us. Thank you! I lost both of my parents relatively young, and what meant most to me were the cards in which people shared good memories and experiences. It is strange how much you can learn about the person you love after they pass away. It gives a sense that their presence is still nearby through the memories of people close to them.
    Barrie
    .-= Barrie Davenport´s last blog ..Blogging and A Decision that Can Change Your Life =-.

  18. Barrie, Thank you so much. I agree that cards sharing good memories of one who has died mean a great deal. As you say, “It gives a sense that their presence is still nearby through the memories of people close to them.” That is a very comforting thought indeed.
    .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..Don’t Blog Alone, Join the A-List Blogging Bootcamp =-.

  19. Debbie says:

    My daughter just lost her son. He died as a result of a “cord” accident, and never drew a breath. I cannot believe the idiotic things people have said. They range from, well at least you never held him, so you didn’t get attached. ( Yes she held him, she held him for hours), to you have two other children to think of so get on with your life, and my personal favorite. You’re having a funeral? don’t they just get rid of that at the hospital? No, he was a full term baby.

    • @Debbie,
      How heart-breaking for her and you and the rest of the family. When I was pregnant with my second child, a woman in the LaMaze class called me to say that her baby had died the same way. The birth was induced, she went into labor, and she delivered a dead baby. (He would have been her first child.)

      I think people aren’t really callous and unfeeling. They just have no idea what to say when a tragedy occurs. All they need to say is something like, “I was so sorry to hear about your baby.”
      .-= Madeleine Kolb´s last blog ..The Right Stuff Award- Dr Kenneth Cooper =-.

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  23. Lilly says:

    Your words ring true, more than a few times I was left with a blank stare after some comments that were well meaning.
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  24. […] He left the day after Christmas and drove in some very bad weather to the apartment we’d finally been able to rent. While he was on the road, I got a phone call informing me that my son Jonathan (who lived in Boston) had died on December 29. It was devastating, a complete shock which I’ve written about here.  […]

  25. kathy r. lk.wth. fl. says:

    My college friend just lost her 20 something son to heart attack last weds. and buried him yesterday. We are in shock, just found out about it 2 hrs. ago. via facebook. My kids are same ages. What do i say? We’ll see each other this weds. Pls. help. I’m devastated.

  26. Kevin says:

    Thank you Madeleine for this writing this. I am truly sorry for your loss. I needed to say something to my aunt who just lost her son and you have helped me write something that is from my heart that is not offensive (at least I hope not!) I must admit i have fallen into the “cross the street to avoid uncomfortable conversations” trap, but your advice will help me change so I don’t end up avoiding people who need comforting the most, simply because I am too uncomfortable and scared that I will say something stupid or offensive. thank you for helping me become a better person.

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  31. Alexander says:

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  33. isco william says:

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    Full name…………..
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  35. JOY says:

    Take your time and read this testimony do not ignore save others life by ready and sharing this testimony.
    This is real take it serious, my name is (joy) from USA, who will believe that a herb can cure HIV&AIDS i never believe that this will work i have spend a lot of $$money when getting drugs from the hospital to keep me healthy, what i was waiting for is death because i was broke, one day i heard about this great man who is well know as herbal medical man who has herbs to cure HIV&AIDS and CANCER also, i decided to email him, unknowingly to me that this will be the end of HIV&AIDS in my body, he prepare the herbs for me, and give me instruction on how to take it, at the end of one month when taking the herbs, he told me to go to the hospital for a check up, and i went, surprisingly after the test the doctor confirm me negative i was so so shock i did not believe it was true, i thought it was a joke, i went to other hospital and was also negative, then i took my friend who was also suffering from CANCER to the herbal man. his name is Dr.omohan., after she has taking the herbs she was also confirm disease free . He also have the herb to cure.
    (1) CANCER,
    (2) ASTHMA,
    (3) HIV&AIDS,
    (4) URINARY TRACT INFECTION,
    (5) IMPOTENCE,
    (6) BARENESS/INFERTILITY
    (7) DIARRHEA
    (8) DIABETES…E.T.C
    please i want every one with this virus to be free and be cured, that is why am dropping his email address. Email: {dromohanherbalmedicin@gmail.com} call or what-sapp him on +2349030313722 do not hesitate to email him, he is a good and a great man. DR.OMOHAN thank you for saving my life, and I promise I will always and forever testify for your good work

  36. Hello everyone around the world, here is an opportunity for you to join the illuminati brotherhood to become rich and famous Contact Dannyglover003@gmail.com Or Whatsapp him on [+2348138773224].

  37. Hello everyone around the world, here is an opportunity for you to join the illuminati brotherhood to become rich and famous Contact Dannyglover003@gmail.com Or Whatsapp him on [+2348138773224]…

  38. Amelida Sophia says:

    I am very happy today to share this amazing testimony on how Dr. idahosa the herbal doctor was able to cure me from my HIV Virus with his herbal medicine. I have been a HIV patient for almost 8 months now and have tried different methods of treatment to ensure that I am cured of this terrible disease, but none worked for me, so I had to leave everything to God to handle as I was a Christian who had faith that one day God would intervene in my life, yet I felt so sad and desperate as I was losing almost everything due to my illness, A few months ago while I was surfing the internet I saw different recommendation about Dr idahosa on how he have been using his herbal Medicine to treat and cure people, these people advice we contact Dr. idahosa for any problem that would help immediately, I contacted Dr idahosa and I told him how I got his contact and also about my disease, after some time Dr. idahosa told me to have faith that he would prepare for me a medication of herbal herbs, he told me I would take this medicine for a few weeks and also asked my home for home address so as possible for him to submit the drug for me, so my good friends after all the process and everything Dr idahosa actually sent me the medicine, I took it as I was directed by Dr. idahosa, after a few weeks passed, while on Dr.idahosa medication I began to experience changes in my body, I had to call my doctor at the hospital for some blood test after test my hospital doctor told me that I was no longer with the Hiv virus and my blood is pretty good, I can not even believe this, Friends well today i am Hiv Free and i want everyone to know that there is a cure for Hiv for those who will contact Dr idahosa after reading my testimony, you can kindly contact Dr. idahosa in (dridahosasolutioncenter@gmail.com) or call him +2348134261542, God bless you all …

  39. joyice ken says:

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  40. Lukas james says:

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  41. john says:

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  42. frank smith says:

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  43. Lucas says:

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  44. Agent smith says:

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  45. jones says:

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  46. joyice says:

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  47. joyice says:

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  48. Mr lukas says:

    my name is Mr lukas really want to share my
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    more than 10 years and he have been getting rich
    everyday and even giving me money but he never
    told me the secret of his success until a day i was
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    also that was when he open up to me and tell me that
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    in the court for more than 10 years that his riches
    and protection came from this court.so i told him to
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    member but i was finally initiated into the devil
    church of the Illuminati and i was confirm in there
    church. after a month of being a member of
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    church of Illuminati and today am rich as my friend
    also, and also the one that surprise me most was that
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  49. larry says:

    Hello viewers, i want to use this opportunity to thank Mr James who finally helped me to become a

    full member of the Great Illuminati Brotherhood and now i am living my life in happiness. I am Deni

    Obanla and I was once indigent and live my life in extreme poverty and the standard of living

    became so poor and low that I even taught of killing myself, I was deeply strangled up by poverty

    and I had no body to help me, to eat is a problem to me and my family until I met with a great

    generous Illuminati man by name Mr James who told me there would be no need for me to die

    and he introduced me into realm of riches and fame. He told me to get my membership form

    which i did, and he told me to get ready for my initiation day and that all new members has a

    certain reward of $50,000 dollars on your initiation day. so i was initiated to the Illuminati world

    and few days i was awarded a contract worth of millions of Dollars, in my business i am doing very

    well right now, I did exactly what i was ask to do and today the story has change, i have up to

    $100,000000 USD in my bank account, I am a living testimony, my dream and all the wealth,

    fame, success and riches, i have ever desired is been made a reality. All the same thanks to Mr

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  50. Veronica West says:

    I will forever be indebted to you Dr Okusu for putting shame away from my marriage. Viewers i want to share on how remarkable Dr Okusu the great Healer in herbal medicine and the helper of successful marriage. My name is Veronica West and i have been married for over 8 years and i have been BARRENNESS/INFERTILITY and for this lack of conceiving for my husband i was totally ignored like a empty living thing. it was shameful and i did tried my best to have my dignity back with my husband but never worked out. until in saw how great Dr Okusu was able to make other woman conceive with the aid of his incredible herbal medicine and when i saw this testimony i quickly ran to him to please help me and he assured me to clean my face that i shouldn’t cry because he will take the shame off my shoulder once i receive his powerful medicine and use it for 2 weeks i will come back to him to testifier. i thought it was a joke and after i took the medicine in 2 weeks i went to my same Doctor surprisingly i was confirmed 3 days pregnant and today i am so much happy that i do not know how best to express his marvelous work. why wait and be humiliated with Barrenness or diseases when you can get help from the Dr Okusu on his email:drokususolutiontemple@gmail.com or What app Him On:+2349037835860

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