7 Roadblocks Standing in the Way of the Life You Want

Life You Want - girl smiling

A year from now you may have wished you had started today. Karen Lamb

I’ve always wanted to write and share my life experiences on getting the life you want.

Yet, for years, I could never start.

I looked at the lives of writers like J.K. Rowling or Paulo Coelho, and admired what they had done.

I looked at what Chris Guillebeau, Leo Babauta and other bloggers like Steve Aitchison were doing online with their writing and wished that I could do the same thing.

After years of not doing anything, I realized that there were some differences between the writers I admired and myself.

I also noticed that what prevented me from achieving what they had achieved had little to do with natural ability and more to do with mindset. I was holding myself back from writing because I didn’t want it enough. And even if I wanted it enough, I wasn’t starting on it.

What’s stopping you from living your dreams? What’s stopping YOU from starting?

Here are 7 roadblocks standing in your way:

1.    Taking action on the life you want.

You may enjoy daydreaming or imagining what’s possible, but not taking action on your idea or vision.

Ideas are, indeed, a dime a dozen. Even your most brilliant idea of what’s possible for yourself means absolutely nothing if you don’t take action on it.

Dreams are fueled by action, but here’s how things usually go.

You have a brilliant idea. Then you think about the nuts and bolts of it. Then you think about all the challenges it poses. Before you know it, you’re filing it away in your brain’s “great ideas” file, which you hope to start on “someday.”

Except someday never arrives.

And your “great ideas” mental file is overflowing with brilliant ideas that could change the world and transform people’s lives.

The world loses out. You lose out.

You don’t need to do everything.

You just need to do one thing today: START.

Today, take the smallest step you can imagine. Take a slightly bigger one tomorrow. Keep going.

2.    Holding yourself accountable.

Once you’ve started, in order to succeed, you have to hold yourself accountable.

What does accountability mean and who do you have to be accountable to?

Accountability is simply doing what you said you’re going to do.

The only person you have to hold accountable is yourself.

Some of us become overwhelmed by goals. If you’re one of those people who hates goals, be intentional about doing something you’re passionate about every day.

Instead of a goal being “complete an eBook in a month,” let the goal be “writing every single day.”

If you have a goal of becoming more mindful, try a couple of minutes of meditation on the daily.

If you would like to run a 5K, commit to running 1K every couple of days.

Have you noticed how the super successful people get stuff done?

They figure out what they’re going to do and how they’re going to do it, then they commit to doing it.

They rely on the simple mantra, “I’m not going to let myself down. I’m going to do what I said I’m going to do.”

Other top performers rely on teachers, mentors and coaches to hold themselves accountable.

Set mini-goals for yourself that you can achieve daily.

If you’re facing resistance doing something or not being regular on that task, take a step back and examine it.

Ask yourself, “What is the resistance I’m facing? What can help me remove the resistance?”

3.    Putting yourself out there.

When you have a dream or vision, it often requires that you put yourself out there.

Many people have their dreams quashed because they feel crushed when other people make a judgment or have an opinion on whatever it is they’re doing.

Being vulnerable or sharing your creative or entrepreneurial projects with others is a scary thing.

We tend to care way too much about what other people think.

A lot of what I write about is very vulnerable stuff, but I feel that I have to go there in order to help other people live their lives more honestly and authentically. I know that my writing could be seen as too invasive, too personal and sometimes uncomfortable.

I could never hit the publish button if I thought about what others would think of my writing.

Be willing to put yourself out there knowing that at the end of your life, the people you think are going to care about what you’re doing won’t matter.

There will always be people who think ill of you or be willing to criticize you.

You have to start looking within instead of looking around.

Do the things and take the action that’s important to you, regardless of what other people think.

4.    Not having a strong “why.”

Are you one of those people who starts many new projects but never completes them?

You have the brilliant ideas; you even get started on them, but never get to day 2 or day 3 or day 4.

Your success depends a lot on two things – first, the reason you’re doing what you’re doing, and second, doing it consistently.

To stay consistent, you have to get to your “why.” Why are you doing what you’re doing, and does your dream or project resonate with your being?

In other words, do your values support your dream? Is your dream something that’s important to you, something that’s fulfilling to your life?

Get clear within about why it is that the dream you’re building is important to you. Make sure it’s not something you read about in the papers or on a blog. Just because it’s something that someone else is doing doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Get hyper clear on your why so that you won’t give up on it after a couple of days.

If your project stays true to what’s important to you, you’ll feel like working on it more.

Stay consistent by building up a habit of working on your project or dream daily.

Do something small, but do it regularly. Do it at the same time every day and elevate its level of importance. Once you know how your actions tie themselves to your life’s dreams, stay at it.

Prioritize your habits. Tell your circle of peers what you’re doing and be accountable to them.

If you fall off the horse and slack for a week or month, just go back to where you started and keep going.

5.    Fear of failure.

You’re likely not starting your next project or working on your dream because you fear failure.

You don’t want to start anything – a career, a dream or an ambitious goal – without knowing how it’s going to turn out.

You see all the obstacles and challenges. You read about people who failed and look at the statistics of what doesn’t work.

You don’t want to waste your time, money and energy on resources for a failed project.

Unless, of course, you come to see that there are no failures.

Not even in failure.

Working on your dream by itself is a success. The ability to do your heart’s calling or follow your dream is meaningful by itself.

Creating, building or hustling on your dream can never be a failure.

Failure means refining your dreams and your goals. Failure means experience. Failure means learning. Failure means you tried.

Failure means living a life without regret.

If you’re able to change your perspective of what failure means, you’ll start more often and look forward to failing.

The more you fail, the more you know what doesn’t work and what it’s going to take to succeed.

6.    Wanting to know all the answers.

When you take on an ambitious new project, launch a business or release an eBook, you want to know all the answers ahead of time.

You’ll want to know how long it’s going to take.

What suppliers or vendors you need to use.

What legal issues or government entities could throw a wrench in your plans.

You want someone to tell you ahead of time whether your idea is going to be a smooth sail or rocky seas.

Here’s the thing – while it’s natural to want psychic abilities ahead of time, you’ll never know the future without arriving at the future.

And to arrive at the future in style, focus on the present.

You have a present-moment gift that trumps any obstacle or challenge your dreams could face: your intuition.

Instead of focusing on future problems and circumstances you have no control over, be intent on listening to the inner voice that carries wisdom and advice in every moment.

Your inner voice is your mentor, guide and fortune teller. Allow it to answer the questions you face. Allow it to guide you to your success.

7.    Being comfortable where you are.

If you’re too comfortable where you are today, you’re not going to start on your dreams.

Comfort will bury them.

If you’re too comfortable, you won’t have the motivation or desire to make changes.

If I had insisted on writing journal entries or writing for myself instead of being public with my writing, I would not have started writing for others.

If I had been too comfortable in the jobs I’ve had, I wouldn’t have quit them to spend months at a time working on my writing.

Change is uncertain, unknown and uncomfortable.

We would all rather hold onto what is than work toward what can be. We know how things are, but we have no idea about the unknown.

If you’re ready to make changes in your life, you have to be willing to go to places you can’t see yet. You have to be willing to sacrifice and take risks. You have to be willing to work hard and try new things.

Fear will keep you where you are today. Risk will propel you forward toward the life you had imagined.

About the author:

Vishnu writes a personal development and spirituality blog for people starting over in life. To sign up for weekly posts, visit www.vishnusvirtues.com. For his books on relationships and heartbreak, visit his Amazon page here

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{ 25 Comments }

  1. Mark Tong says:

    Hey Vishnu – a really great post on how to move towards the life you really want. For years I always wanted to know all the answers before I acted, but as you say so well ‘you’ll never know the future without arriving at the future.

    And to arrive at the future in style, focus on the present’ – excellent!

    • Vishnu says:

      hi Mark – appreciate your comments. Yes, indeed – the present is the vehicle to the future. Glad you made this realization and moving forward on the life you want.

  2. Stefany says:

    Hi Vishnu,

    Thanks for this really great post, I agree with everything you said, the fear of failure keeps us were we are, fear freezes our thinking and lets us believe that we cannot and shouldn’t try something new; we thus stay in our comfort zone.

  3. Marius says:

    I cant wait to start my project containing 2000 house projects. i know it takes time but i like to draw and i hope one day someone will buy it! :]

  4. Great to have you on GLZ again, Vishnu! I enjoyed this post very much.

    A roadblock can also be not knowing the ‘How’. For example, I’d like to write a thriller but I’m feeling stuck because I’m not sure how to structure the plot.

    Well, perhaps that’s just fear speaking …. 😉

    • Vishnu says:

      Thank you for having me back Mary.

      Not knowing “how” could be either, a roadblock or fear, as you say. A future thriller writer, if stuck, can look for a writing coach or book on plot structure to help remove the roadblock. If they are still stuck, they may have to look deeper at what’s stopping them from starting.
      Vishnu´s last blog post ..5 Ways to Open Your Heart to Love

  5. Marius says:

    Definietly! Thank you!

  6. Varonica says:

    This is great, Vishnu! I especially love # 6 and this gem: “you’ll never know the future without arriving at the future. And to arrive at the future in style, focus on the present.”

    I also find that learning to let go and even enjoy the unfolding of things is well worth the practice it usually takes to remember to stay in the present.
    Varonica´s last blog post ..Fear not! You can learn and grow from any mistake or failure!

  7. William says:

    Vishnu,
    This was truly a helpful and informative article. I found this relevant and useful as a striving entrepreneur and also as someone who works in the field of addiction recovery.

    Many addicts never make the change they want and need because of these reasons. As I read them, I could see how these roadblocks would work in the mind of an addict. For example, if someone does not have a “strong why” they will never have the desire to want to get sober!

    I will definitely be reffering to this article in my work and personal life. Great read!

  8. Morgan says:

    This was a very moving post. You give excellent advise here on how to optimize your life. It’s definitely important to stay active in pursuing happiness, and you do an awesome job of highlighting that! Thanks so much for sharing!

  9. Vishnu says:

    Thanks Morgan. You’re too kind. Thank you for your words of support.
    Vishnu´s last blog post ..My Radical Realization About Self-Love

  10. Michael says:

    Long time visitor, first time commenting…just kidding.

    This is my first time here and I’m glad I stumbled upon it!

    This post has some great insights and useful tips on how to get ‘unstuck.’ The only thing I would’ve added is fear of success. I know for me this fear held me back for many years.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Michael.

  11. I really like your blog write-up which is obviously informative & fantastic…. Keep sharing more… Thanks a lot!!!

  12. Great post, as always, Vishnu

    Another thing that holds us back is believing we have to be driven every day. The fact is, like the seasons, our energy and motivation ebbs and flows.

    Because we have a bad day or miss a day doesn’t necessarily mean we haven’t got what it takes or don’t want it enough. The trick is to have story that says, every day I get to start again.

    We do the best each day with the best we have each day. We just need to keep going 🙂

    Just because we write a few days off doesn’t mean we have to write the whole dream off.
    Keith Clarke´s last blog post ..Why We Can’t Ignore The Death Of David Bowie

  13. Great post, as always, Vishnu

    Another thing that holds us back is believing we have to be driven every day. The fact is, like the seasons, our energy and motivation ebbs and flows.

    Because we have a bad day or miss a day doesn’t necessarily mean we haven’t got what it takes or don’t want it enough. The trick is to have story that says, every day I get to start again.

    We do the best each day with the best we have each day. We just need to keep going 🙂

    Just because we write a few days off doesn’t mean we have to write the whole dream off.
    Keith Clarke´s last blog post ..Why We Can’t Ignore The Death Of David Bowie

    • Vishnu says:

      Love it Keith. Thank you for the message that we don’t have to be perfect and get it right every day – we just have to keep on going. Appreciate your wisdom and thoughts always. Start new each day – great philosophy for dreams and life.
      Vishnu´s last blog post ..When Society Lies

  14. Valeria Cardenas says:

    HI Vishnu, I have been followed your posts for almost a year, I am always surprised about your ability to write in this inspirational way. It is always a pleasure and serves for much to read you weekly. Thank you for all the inspiration you’ve given me.

  15. William says:

    Hi there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my myspace group? There’s a lot of people that I think would really appreciate your content. Please let me know. Many thanks

  16. Daniel says:

    This web site really has all the information and facts I wanted about this subject and didn’t know who to ask.

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