How to Overcome Fear and Live Bold: 10 Tips

Find your courage

A guest post by Tess Marshall of The Bold Life

I’ll bet you’ve already promised yourself that this year will be different. This time you will reach your goal, skydive, learn Mandarin Chinese, find the love of your life, lose the weight or become self-employed.

If you have that’s fantastic! Who doesn’t want to change, to grow, and to live life their way?

There is only one thing that is standing between you and the promise you’ve made.

Fear.

Fear can be a trap, a prison, a story, or an illusion that torments and paralyzes you. It keeps you awake at night, and your happiness and dreams completely out of reach.

One of the worst things we can do is dare to dream big and then hold ourselves hostage by clinging to our same old routine doubts, anxieties, and fears.

It’s a wicked cycle that will keep you crazy-dizzy and spinning out of control like a rickety old Tilt-a-Whirl at the State Fair.

What’s real about fear?

The only real aspects of fear are your annoying and uneasy feelings that escort your terror – the worry, anxiety, and irrational thinking.

The unpleasant physical symptoms of fear drain your energy – a sudden grab, a racing heart, your sweaty palms, shortness of breath and sleepless nights.

These feelings and symptoms are unbearable yet until the pain of staying stuck is greater than the pain it takes to grow forward, we suffer.

Our subconscious beliefs, our addiction to safety, and our past experience prevents up from taking the action needed to move out of our fear and into our greatness.

Read on for 10 tips for a bold and fearless life.

Tip #1: Don’t believe your thoughts

Drop your negative thinking and lack of faith in yourself or it will continue to snowball. Train your mind to create positive expectations. Learn to expect the best.

Tip #2: View life as a creative and wild adventure

Life can be brimming with easy times of beauty and light or overflowing with hard times of dark and difficulty. Choose to stay present through it all. Appreciate the varied landscape and enjoy the ride.

Tip #3: Consider the love of others

Who else in your life is missing out because of your fear of moving forward? Make a list of the people who will benefit from your success. Stay strong for them. Imagine telling them the “good news” in advance – I got the job, I made a difference, I wrote my book, we’re going on vacation!

Tip #4: Let go of the outcome

We often think we know what is best for us. We forget we can’t see the whole picture. Do what is yours to do and do it well. Like blowing a dandelion in the wind, let the rest go and remain open to infinite possibilities.

Tip #5: Be authentic.

In a world where everyone is trying to be someone else, be brave enough to be you. Nobody else has your thumb print, heart print, or soul print. Nobody else can do your part. Revel in your uniqueness. Transparency is magnetic.

Tip #6: Create space for gratitude

Begin your day by filling your mind with appreciation. Focus on the love you have to give and the love you can receive. Become aware of open hearts, open minds, and an unlimited life. This is energy well spent.

Tip #7: Build positive images

Increase your faith and courage by remembering all of your past successes. Take note of your strengths and determination. Apply the same traits to your present dream. Build positive pictures of future success in your mind.

Tip #8: Argue for a positive outcome

Make a list of your fears. Next, prove each fear wrong. If you think you can’t, write down all of the reasons why you actually can. Remind yourself of your written proof when you’re heart is pounding and your palms are sweating.

Tip #9: Be comfortable with the uncomfortable

I don’t know anyone who enjoys being afraid. We want to deny it, run from it, and ignore it. As a professional speaker, I’m nervous for the first several minutes. To get through it, I memorize the first ten minutes of the speech. Learn to get through the things you fear.

Tip #10: Don’t take it personally

What someone else does is about them. How you react is about you. This is perhaps the most difficult step to learn. When your request is ignored or turned down, move on. Rejection isn’t an excuse for failure.

As you face your fears and increase your freedom and happiness by allowing your dreams to become a reality, the good life is inevitable.

Tess Marshall is the founder of The Bold Life, where she inspires people to live a fearless life. If you are tired of being stuck in fear and want to step into your greatness, click here to learn more about her course, Take Your Fear and Shove It [affiliate link].

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{ 36 Comments }

  1. Here’s the line that did it for me here – “Rejection isn’t an excuse for failure.” Fabulous line/quote. Can I tweet that line?
    How many of us throw in the towel when we get rejected, turned down, said no to. All too many. Instead we need to push through it, as hard as that is, and move on to other things/people/opportunities. Easier said than done, but that is the challenge to ourselves – to keep going after what moves us and knock away those webs of negativity than can stick to us.
    Thank you for this wonderful piece. Best to you.

    • Hi Harriet,
      I don’t know a human being who doesn’t struggle with rejection. Just went I think I have it…it’s hits me again. I let my self process it and then move on. However sometimes is takes me a few days;)
      Tess The Bold Life´s last blog post ..It’s Here!

  2. Joy says:

    Love it, Tess….love all of it!
    And, I agree with Harriet, this is my favorite line: “Rejection isn’t an excuse for failure.”..although I do not believe in “failure” because each experience brings us to the point we are meant to be. In my life there is “try, and try again”..or more accurately “do it, do it again only a bit different this time”.
    Thank you, Mary, for sharing your space with Tess!

  3. Tina says:

    wow brilliant!
    ‘What someone else does is about them. How you react is about you.’….best advice ever!!

  4. Awesome advice. Actionable and much-needed to start off a positive new year.
    Jennifer Brown Banks´s last blog post ..3 Key Ways Knowing Your Weaknesses Strengthens Your Position As a Writer!

  5. Tess – While I love your list, I was hung up from the start with your premise.

    “There is only one thing that is standing between you and the promise you’ve made. Fear.”

    I strongly disagree. There can be many things in the way including time, money, energy, skills et al. Fear can be a strong contributor but not the only part of the story.

    To me it’s about being realistic – realistic with what you can accomplish, the resources you have (or don’t have) as well as your fears.

    You don’t want to have the fear hold you back but becoming “fearless” does not mean that you will suddenly reach all your goals and objectives. The risk I see is that what happens if I overcome the fear but still cannot do it, accomplish it, execute on the goal due to other factors. To me, this thinking can set individuals (not all, but some) up for a crushing sense of defeat.

    Let me reiterate the first point…absolutely love your list and think it can be quite useful. Much of what you have written I think of as becoming wise and having a high level of self-awareness. Knowing who you are, what you stand for, how you operate, and gaining the ability to see with clarity. Being able to remove the “lenses” through which we often view the world. http://synergetic-solutions.com/self-awareness-do-you-know-the-color-of-your-lens-or-lenses/

    • Faith,

      When I think of time I think we all have the same amount. Money yes it can limit us however it will also force us to be more creative. Energy…now that’s true…I have enough energy for four people. However everyone can use the energy they do have in the best ways possible. Skills …we can learn almost anything online.

      I’m not saying that there isn’t more standing in the way besides fear…however too often those are used as excuses. Thanks for sharing. I appreciate your point of view. Always.
      Tess The Bold Life´s last blog post ..It’s Here!

  6. Rose Byrd says:

    Staying strong for loved ones is worded here better than I had seen before. This is helping me already–and I just read it! Also, starting the day with gratitude has been working very well for me for several months. Saying “thank you” upon opening my eyes just really kicks off my day in light, even when the weather is dark! Also, the way you write about not taking rejection or criticism from others too much to heart is really helpful. That one is a slight roller coaster for me. As I walk away from negativity, if I can “thank you” for something, I am able to put the criticism to good use and move on.
    Rose Byrd´s last blog post ..LISTENING FOR FOOTSTEPS LEAVING NO PRINTS

  7. This is a great list of wonderful tips that lead to great life! Many of my favorite daily habits are on this list, including viewing life as an adventure, letting go of the outcome, having an attitude of gratitude, and not taking it personally. Practicing these ideals in my life has helped me become healthier and happier.

    Chrysta
    Chrysta Bairre´s last blog post ..Keep it simple with one word goals

    • Hi Chrysta,

      Yes an adventure…I tend to get too intense and serious…an adventure thanks for reminding me of my own advice on a day that I needed it. I’m going to make it a wild and crazy adventure!

  8. Somehow Tess just always knows what I need to hear. If you remember, I’ve been struggling with fear for a good bit (about starting my own biz) and your words always help give me a sense of calm…I wrote about my mantra for 2012 yesterday ~ Just Be ~ and then reading your words today..I know I can do this. I know I can push pass these silly crazy fears. I know I can because I’m strong and I have lots of love and support in my life.

    I used to be the one without fear…the one who made bold moves with confidence. Until it came to creating my own biz. For whatever reason, I’m paralyzing myself with fear. I know I’m the only one who can answer why but again – reading your words always helps me so I thank you :)
    Jen {The Wholehearted Life}´s last blog post ..my 2012 mantra ~ “just be”

  9. […] !Tess at The Bold Life is at it again sharing her thoughts and wisdom over at Goodlife Zen on 10 tips to overcome fear and live bold. Tess’ words always resonate deeply with me and seem to come just when I need to hear them […]

  10. […] !Tess at The Bold Life is at it again sharing her thoughts and wisdom over at Goodlife Zen on 10 tips to overcome fear and live bold. Tess’ words always resonate deeply with me and seem to come just when I need to hear them […]

  11. Everything and everyone comes from a place of love or fear. Fear contracts and limits while love opens the door to all kinds of possibilities. Deciding to come from a place of love – love for ourselves, others and the planet – is the first step to moving forward with happiness.
    Paige | Simple Mindfulness´s last blog post ..If It Hurts, Stop Doing It

  12. Hi Tess and Mary,

    Wonderful suggestions. I agree that number 10 is a challenge, but if we practice being in that calm state of mind, it is easier to control our reactions. Sounds like a good way to get the new year off to a positive start.
    Cathy | Treatment Talk´s last blog post ..Treatment Talk Monthly Message – December 2011

  13. Cathy,
    No kidding it’s difficult for me too! Just when I think I’m doing great I’ll experience a big, “No!” and I have to work through it again…remind myself…not about me. Sigh
    Tess The Bold Life´s last blog post ..It’s Here!

  14. Fred says:

    Thanks for the tips Tess! I recently had an experience of ‘letting go of the outcome’
    When making some thing I was completly tied up in the desired outcome which wasn’t happening and frustrations were building, then a thought came to me…it doesn’t have to be perfect…let it go…and whalla I became creative and it turned out beyond my expectations.
    So I also add ‘Avoid expectations’…and enjoy the process…

  15. The Vizier says:

    Hi Tess,

    Fear can be a fearsome thing. It can grow to huge proportions in the darkest parts of your mind and cripple you from taking action to reach your goals. I love the 10 tips you have shared to help us manage our fear. Here are some of my thoughts.

    Tip #1 Don’t believe your thoughts

    Our perception is often not a true reflection of reality anyway. We see so many things through filters. It is the same with our fears. Our fears do not reflect reality and we should challenge ourselves to get to the heart of our fears to overcome them.

    Tip #8 Argue for a positive outcome

    I agree. Instead of giving in to our fears, we should list them and try to find ways to manage them. Instead of just accepting our fears, we should challenge ourselves to find solutions to them. This will help us to deal with our fears better.

    Thank you for sharing this lovely article!

    Irving the Vizier
    The Vizier´s last blog post ..The Vizier on Dealing with Pain

  16. Vizier,
    Thanks for you contribution. I so agree with you and happily we’ll all grow forward;)
    Tess The Bold Life´s last blog post ..It’s Here!

  17. […] un article de “développement personnel” de Tess Marshall, qui je pense peut servir parfaitement […]

  18. Noel says:

    Fear of failure, fear of rejection… we all have that. It’s like setting a road block on our mind and it’s not easy to remove these ‘mind’ barriers. But your tips are great. I especially like #4, do our part and just let the uncontrollable happens, let it be. Such an inspiring article Tess, thanks~
    Noel´s last blog post ..Motivational Quotes For Women To Move On

  19. […] How to Overcome Fear and Live Bold: 10 Tips […]

  20. Tim says:

    Tess:

    Wow, some great insights that you shared here…at the perfect time of year! It really is amazing how much fear affects all of us…our decisions, behavior, personality and mood. The first step is becoming aware of this fear and I really like your tips for living bold. Thanks for writing this and getting our year to a bold start.
    Tim´s last blog post ..Leaving the Past (Year) Behind

  21. Personally I think “let go of the outcome” is one to focus much of my own attention on.

    It is one I have practiced for a long time and still find myself attached to results. It’s when I realize I’m there and let go that things usually begin to become much more joyful. Or my new favorite way by the soulful Leo: Joyfear. I’ve taken to that term and am seriously giving my attention to not attaching the outcome as the most significant piece to anything.

    Aloha wags!
    Jt Clough | Big Island Dog´s last blog post ..Fear of Failure, Joyfear & The Dog

  22. Deann says:

    My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find the majority of your post’s to be exactly what I’m looking for. can you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write in relation to here. Again, awesome web log!
    Deann´s last blog post ..motivation with self hypnosis

  23. Lilly says:

    Thanks for your marvelous posting! I seriously enjoyed reading it, you will be a great author.I will make sure to bookmark your blog and will come back someday. I want to encourage you to definitely continue your great job, have a nice afternoon!
    Lilly´s last blog post ..mystery babylon

  24. Roman Soluk says:

    We should definitely fight our fear as it’s a great obstacle in life. And these are great tips to do it. Thanks for sharing them!
    Roman Soluk´s last blog post ..Optimistic Lifestyle – Healthy Living

  25. Hmm Well I was just searching on yahoo and just came across your blog, mostly I just only visit blogs and retrieve my required info but this time the useful information that you posted in this post urged me to post here and appreciate your diligent work. I just bookmarked your site. Thank you again.

  26. asif says:

    Hi to all,
    i am asif, i am facing the problem of fear. And am not able overcome the fear and live a joyfull life. So please somebody help me to come out of it.

  27. […] shift at a time. One tweak at a time. One small step at a time. Choose a little boldness. Life is simple. Don't complicate […]

  28. […] the idea of going for your dreams sounds discomforting to you, and if you find yourself breaking out in a sweat, turning ashen white […]

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