Are you compassionate?

A guest post by Annika Martins of The Catalyst Sessions

Think of the last time you encountered someone who was suffering.

Maybe they were coping with physical pain, financial struggles or the emotional weight of a divorce or the death of a loved one.

Would you define your response to them as compassionate?

Now think of the last time someone inconvenienced you.

Maybe an aggressive driver forced you to swerve off the road during rush hour or one of your children accidentally broke an expensive lamp. Maybe it was as simple as the pizza delivery guy being an hour late.

How did you respond?

Compassion-blindness

Most of us live with mental blinders that prevent us from seeing the many opportunities for kindness we encounter every day. We respond to life’s challenges from a position of irritation and defensiveness instead of realizing that every moment offers us a chance to be gentle instead of sharp, thoughtful instead of insensitive.

The best way to remove these defensive blinders and make compassion an automatic response in every situation is to consciously practice incorporating it into our everyday lives.

Compassion becomes active when it is worked like a muscle. It is something we must practice, just like daily meditation, yoga or playing the piano.

By directing consistent attention and effort at it, we will naturally sink into a rhythm of words and behaviors that reflect this loving kindness in everything we do.

Daily acts of compassion

There are many activities we can engage in to proactively cultivate compassion in our daily lives. Here are 10 ideas you can try out for yourself:

tip #1: teach

You have a set of unique talents, skills and access to a wide range of resources. Who can you share your talents/resources with today? Where might you find a person who would benefit from what you have to give? Compassion does not hoard what it has but gives generously.

tip #2: be taught

There are talents/skills that don’t come to you naturally, but flow easily for others. Ask for their guidance and support. People feel empowered when we honour their abilities by asking for their contribution.

tip #3: offer sincere praise

Forced compliments and fake smiles are not easily disguised, so don’t bother trying. Instead, look for opportunities to genuinely applaud someone’s talents (tip #2 should make this fairly easy). Compassion does not claim the spotlight for itself, but rather shines it on others.

tip #4: be curious

Create opportunities to objectively explore the things and people you are judgemental of. Read a novel written by an author from a culture you have a low opinion of. Start a casual conversation with the colleague who follows a different religious/spiritual tradition. Allow yourself to recognize common values instead of relying on old stereotypes.

tip #5: switch shoes

Inhabiting someone else’s experience is one of the best ways to cultivate compassion. Offer to cover the responsibilities of a co-worker who is out sick/on vacation. Walk or take public transportation to work instead of driving. Changing our usual routine is an excellent way to shift our perspective and see others from a new vantage point.

tip #6: be a silent witness

Watch a parent walking hand in hand with their child. Let a dog lick your hand. Close your eyes and feel the wind/rain/snow on your face. Silently witness the many expressions of love happening all around you. Compassion and love are one in the same.

tip #7: create stillness

Meditation quiets the stream of mental chatter (which often includes a fair bit of judgement of ourselves and others) that diminishes our ability to fully connect with the present moment. True presence allows us to see beyond external layers of difference and identify the core oneness we share with everyone else on this planet. When you recognize the interconnectedness of everything, compassion flows naturally.

tip #8: turn it inward

Although extending compassion to others should be a daily practice, showing that same kindness to ourselves is also vital. Are you holding onto past regrets? Have you ever done/said something that you are deeply ashamed of? Ask yourself, “Who would I be without this regret/shame?” Each day, practice forgiving yourself. Whether silently, out loud or maybe in front of a mirror, cultivate a space of calm acceptance of all things.

tip #9: seek out those in need

One of the quickest ways to cultivate a sense of loving kindness is to seek out opportunities to interact with those in need. Volunteer at an animal shelter. Spend time visiting patients in a hospital (many hospitals have programs that facilitate this). Work in a soup kitchen for an afternoon. Compassion reponds to suffering with gentleness, giving its time and energy generously.

tip #10: pause

They say hindsight is 20/20. It is often easy for us to admit that we used unkind words or behaved aggressively after we’ve reflected on our actions. Don’t wait until afterwards to pause and reflect. When you have to write a difficult email, challenge a colleague or complain to the restaurant manager about poor service, pause and consider the other person’s position. Could they just be having a really rough day? Is it possible for you to communicate your concerns with kindness instead of aggressiveness? Pause and let the compassionate answer come through.

A note on Pity vs Compassion

Some might say that regularly engaging with those who are suffering (as suggested in #9) will become an enormous emotional drain.

Yes, if your interactions arise from a feeling of pity for others, you may very likely feel pained by these encounters. In fact, all of these tips could have a negative impact on both you and the recipient if the primary driver of your behavior is a feeling of pity.

Pity creates distance. It positions one person as superior, as far above the other. Compassion recognizes the sameness between all people, animals and the Earth. Compassion connects whereas pity separates.

Cultivating compassion for yourself and everything you encounter will create a life of ease and harmony.

Sounds like a good life to me.

What is your experience of offering or receiving compassion? Please share in the comments.

Annika Martins is the creator of The Catalyst Sessions, a jumpstart series designed to boost women entrepreneurs from mediocre to magnificent.  You can also find Annika on Twitter at @annikamartins.

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By Mary Jaksch

Beauty inspires gratitude. But only when we become aware of beauty.
Live rushes on and it’s easy to get immersed in the mind tape that takes about ‘me’, ‘mine’, ‘myself’ – instead of taking a moment to appreciate the beauty that is all around us.

Stop for a moment and appreciate whatever you see, hear, or feel right now. If you have a few minutes, watch the inspiring video below. Nature’s beauty can be easily missed – but not through Louie Schwartzberg’s lens. His stunning time-lapse photography, accompanied by powerful words from Benedictine monk David Steindl-Rast, serves as a gratitude meditation.

Watch the video below, or click here to watch it.

What did you think about the video?

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By Mary Jaksch

Gratitude is a wonderful emotion. What happens when you feel grateful is that your ego disappears for a moment. Instead of trying to project yourself into the world, you become open and receptive.

If you want to feel happier, try keeping a ‘gratitude journal’. At night, just before going to sleep, write down everything you feel grateful for as you review the day. It’s a proven way to feel happier.

Below is a beautiful gratitude meditation, led by Deepak Chopra. Please watch it and take a few minutes to experience gratitude.

What are your thoughts on gratitude? Do you have some tips on how to practice gratitude? Please share in the comments.

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Jonathan Fields

Uncertainty must be present in the quest to create anything deeply meaningful.
From Jonathan Fields new book Uncertainty

By Mary Jaksch

Do you have creative ideas – but find it hard to make them happen?

All human beings are born creative. We all have good ideas. But on the path from idea to creation we can be ambushed by fear, doubt, and uncertainty – and that often means that great ideas land up dead in the dust, instead of coming to fruition.

But here’s the good news …

Fear, doubt, and uncertainty are not the enemy of creativity. In fact, they are necessary for bringing your creative stirrings from the first idea right through into action.

There is a fantastic new resource that shows exactly how to turn fear and doubt into fuel for brilliance:

Jonathan Fields’ new book: Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance

Jonathan Fields is a good friend of mine. He’s insanely creative and what he produces is always of the highest quality. What I particularly appreciate is that  in everything Jonathan Fields writes, you can sense a deep wellspring of natural spirituality.

His new book, “Uncertainty”  is amazing!

It’s the first time I’ve come across an analysis of the creative process that really makes sense. In particular, I love the fact that Jonathan focuses on uncertainty as a key factor of the creative process.

I’m a compulsive creator and my best creations come from a deep sense of unknowing (what Jonathan calls ‘uncertainty’). When I feel that deep sense unknowing in my belly, I know that I’m ‘pregnant’ with a creative idea that has huge potential – and is going to be a struggle to bring into life.

The next steps of creation – after the good idea – are tricky, because fear and doubt kick in. “Will this really work?” we ask ourselves. Or, “Have I got what it takes?”

Such thoughts can easily derail the creative process. In fact, many people have brilliant ideas. But few pursue their great ideas and bring them into reality because they find it hard to bear the fear, doubt, and uncertainty.

This is the point where you need Jonathan’s book to guide you through this tricky territory. He maps out various routes to bring your idea to fruition.

Most of all, his book is a treasure-trove of inspiring stories. If you’re in the grip of ‘what-if gremlins’, the inspiring stories of others who struggles and finally burst into full creativity will keep you going.

Of course Jonathan himself is a shining example of someone who has harnessed his creativity. What he brings forth makes the world a better place. You can read more by Jonathan Fields on his blog, JonathanFields.com.

May suggestion is: treat yourself to Jonathan Fields’ book Uncertainty: Turning Fear and Doubt into Fuel for Brilliance. Your life will be enhanced!

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Zen Master Joan Halifax works with people at the last stage of life (in hospice and on death row). She shares what she’s learned about compassion in the face of death and dying, and a deep insight into the nature of empathy. Watch the inspiring video below, or click here to watch it.

Did this video touch your heart? Please share your thoughts and feelings in the comments.

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New Zealand Wilderness

By Mary Jaksch

Are you in touch with your wild side?
I mean the hidden part of you that is raw and powerful.

It’s easy to lose touch with that wellspring of creativity, passion, and power.

When we lose touch with our wild side, we lose something precious. Something that turns our life from ordinary into extraordinary.

There is a simple way to connect with your wild side: experience wilderness.

If you live in an urban area, it may be difficult to access wilderness areas. If that’s the case for you, read on to find a simple solution.

How wilderness experience can change your life

• Wilderness has few or no tracks
  What that means for our life is that you give up a herd mentality and start to forge your own unique path through life. No matter what others think or say.
• Wilderness shows the raw beauty of nature
  If you’ve ever been in a wilderness area, you may have experienced a sense of awe and wonder at the beauty of nature. This is a spiritual experience where we open up to the vastness that lies beyond a self-centered focus. 

  The video clip below shows a hot waterfall I found recently in a wilderness area of New Zealand. If you are reading this in an email, click here to watch it.

• Wilderness brings out the survivor within us
  Each one of us has untapped powers of survival. When we get a sense of this hidden reservoir of power, we can apply it to our daily life in order to go beyond the limitations we imagine.
• Wilderness makes us self-reliant
  In order to be safe in wilderness, we need to take heed of possible dangers and prepare accordingly. This teaches us self-reliance.
• Wilderness is dangerous
  Every wilderness area has hidden dangers. What this teaches us is to have courage and it brings out the warrior within. We are all warriors in our wild heart. That doesn’t mean that we need to be aggressive. We can learn to be  peaceful warriors. It means that we face and overcome challenges. Instead of curling up and giving up.

But how does this apply if you can’t get away from your city desk?

Life itself is actually a wilderness experience. It’s unpredictable. You know about that if you have an accident, or a loved one gets ill, or you lose your job.

If you want to get in touch with your wild side – even if you can’t get into a wilderness area – there is something simple you can do.

Look at the sky.

When you look up, you look into vast space.

Take a moment each day to look at the sky.

Breathe in deeply and remind yourself that life is trackless, and that you are wild at heart.

What about your wild side? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
photo by Solidether

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By Mary Jaksch

The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when you discover that someone else believes in you and is willing to trust you with a friendship. — Ralph Waldo Emerson

Do you sometimes feel that we are all mysteriously connected?

Some people maintain that in our virtual age, friendships created through social media are shallow and meaningless – and that there is less meaningful connection between people than ever before.

I don’t agree.

The most surprising thing about my  journey  as a blogger has been that I’ve made some wonderful friends online.  Some of them I’ve met face-to-face as well. Yes, they’re real friends.

But beyond the realm of friendship, we are all interconnected. Our lives are inextricably intertwined.

Here is an inspiring  video  that illuminates our mysterious connection.

Composer Eric Whitacre led a virtual choir of singers from around the world. Listen to the uplifting sound of 2000 singers in the following video.

If you can’t see the video below, click here to watch it.

What do you think about this? Did the music touch you?

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By Mary Jaksch

Mindfulness meditation is a simple and effective way to meditate. Whether you want to become calmer, be more present, or simply become grounded, mindfulness meditation will help you.

How long should you meditate for?

If this is your first experience of meditation, just meditate for short periods of time, maybe 5 to 10 minutes. As you get more experienced, you can lengthen the time you spend meditating to 25 or 30 minutes.

Here are seven simple tips that will enhance your experience:

#1 Sit upright

Upright posture helps the mind to come to rest. You can either sit on the ground with a firm cushion to elevate your back side, or sit on a straight-backed chair. The main thing is to keep your spine upright but relaxed. It’s much easier to keep your mind focused if you’re upright.

#2 Pay tender regard to your body

It’s helpful to connect with your body in order to settle into meditation. Start at your feet and slowly scan the body with your mind. What do your feet feel like? What do you legs feel like? Let the soft light of your attention move slowly through your whole body.

#3 Be still

When you first start to meditate, you may feel fidgety and may want to adjust your posture constantly. It’s really important to be still physically during meditation. Every time you move, your mind responds with random thoughts. So stay steady and still.

#4 Be silent

Outer silence helps you to become silent within. In our Western culture, silence has become rare. In order to become still within, make sure that you are in a quiet environment. It’s only when you are still that we can become aware of your mind.

#5 Focus on your breath

Pay tender regard to your breath flowing in and out. Your breath is a doorway to stillness. Notice what your breath feels like in your nose, chest, and belly.

#6 Let go of inner chatter

Mindfulness meditation means becoming aware of the present moment, without judgment.Notice your thoughts coming and going. When you notice that you are caught up in an inner dialogue, gently let the story go.

# 7 Bring your attention back when it wanders.

Gently bring your mind back to your breath whenever it strays into the past or the future. Our mind tends to wander. That’s a natural condition. If you train yourself to gently return your soft attention to the breath, your mind will become steadier. And you will be able to immerse yourself in the present moment.

Meditation is a practice. It takes time to learn it.

When you first start out, mindfulness meditation will feel strange. And it may be quite a shock to become aware of how often the mind spends time in the past or future – instead of in the present moment.

Set yourself a regular schedule, but make sure this schedule is ‘too easy’, and ‘too short’. If you want to create a habit of daily meditation, you’re much more likely to be successful if you treat yourself with kindness and don’t demand the impossible.

When you learn to immerse yourself in the present moment – whatever it is like – you will experience a deep joy and peacefulness. As well, meditation has immense health benefits: it strengthens the immune system, lowers your blood pressure and pulse rate, and lifts your mood.

Meditation is a wonderful gift to yourself!

If you want to start meditating the easy way, CLICK HERE to get the Goodlife ZEN Meditation Guide.

Click here to Download the FREE first chapter of Start Over: Create the Life YOU Want

By Mary Jaksch

Compassion has a bad rap. Well, maybe not bad, but at least squishy. It’s equated with weakness, with saccharine spirituality, with turning the other cheek instead of fighting back, with heroic self-sacrifice too good to be true, with feel-good stories stuck right at the end of news casts.

But what if we thought about compassion in a new way?

In the video below, journalist Krista Tippett deconstructs the meaning of compassion through several moving stories, and proposes a new, more attainable definition for the word.
(If you can’t see the video, go here to watch it.)

What do you think about this? Please share in the comments.

If you enjoy this post, please share it on Twitter and Facebook. I’d appreciate it

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A guest post by Katie Tallo of Momentum Gathering

I’ve been working out lately – getting stronger, more lean, flexible and energized, but not in the way you’d think. I’m not talking about swinging kettle bells or running 5K every morning. Nope, I’m talking about something else – something I’ve learned from swinging kettle bells and running 5K every morning. I’ve learned that a strong core is more than just abdominal and back strength – it goes much deeper than that.

Core strength comes from your soul.

That’s right. Your soul can be shaped, toned and strengthened, just like your gluteus maximus, with a few simple daily soul squats. I call it soul training.

I’ve been experimenting with my soul lately – lifting it in new ways, feeding, shaping, bending and infusing it with loving energy. And I’ve noticed a change. I feel more soul-centered, more guided, more protected, more myself.

Regular soul training gives your spirit the strength to resist soul crushers.

What are soul crushers? Likely, we all know them – those seemingly trivial thoughts that sidle casually up to our souls and whisper, “You’re not good enough.” – or those disarmingly small habits that lead our souls by the hand towards ill health, anger, self loathing or feelings of failure. I’ve danced with them all – looking for easy fixes to my diet, magic bullets for toning my body and the perfect advice on how to live my life which I follow and inevitably end up on someone else’s path. Each whisper, each habit, each opinion I follow, I feel less connected to my soul.

Your soul is you.

It is where all your vivid imaginings, great ideas and most heartfelt dreams are not only born, but nurtured and live. If your soul is damaged, defensive, neglected, slack or angry, those imaginings can be lost and those dreams can go unfulfilled.

But, if you are willing to give your lovely soul a workout, your spirit will begin to ignite those dreams and encourage those great ideas with joyful vigour. You will strengthen the very core of your being and that is the place from which everything is possible.

Let’s pretend I’m your personal soul trainer for a minute.

I’ve been practicing these moves every day for a while now, so I know them and I’m pretty sure they’re working for me so they might work for you. I’ve felt a powerful force starting to transform my body, my health, my home, my sense of purpose, my human connections, and the trajectory of my entire journey. So if you’re willing, here goes.

I suggest you repeat each of these exercises daily for optimal soul training. They are simple, totally doable for anyone, and over time can restore, recharge and rewire your unique and sensational soulscape.

Lift

Find ten minutes every day to sit in silence, lift all your excuses and envision the one significant change you’d like to see happen in your life. Elevate your thinking beyond the ordinary – to a vision that is vivid and robust. See the change in your mind’s eye, breathe and know that the change is already yours. Picture yourself there, feel it, enjoy it for ten minutes, then let it go.

Feed

Nourish your soul with a small bite of inspiration every day. It might be a poem, an affirmation, a painting, a quote or a photograph. Choose a specific time each day when you are going to take a moment to seek out and savour one beautiful, soul stirring morsel.

Lighten

Let go of one daily habit that no longer serves your soul. Maybe it’s a coffee and donut, a TV show or an addiction. Focus only on the awesome reasons for letting go of this habit. Write them down and keep them with you as a daily reminder. Replace the habit with something soul quenching like walking, reading or a daily green tea or fruit smoothie. It’s only one habit – one your soul no longer wants or needs. Ease your journey by lightening your load.

Bend

To bring profound change, to reconnect to our souls, we only need make a very small shift in our lives – a little twist to our routines. Decide to change one routine in your daily life in order to feel what change creates. Embrace how newness feels. Pick a routine that bores you, that’s become mindless and soulless. Shift it ever so slightly. I’ve been waking up at 5:30am. That is how I’ve chosen to shift – to bend my daily routine. The world looks different, sounds different and I have more time to work on my soul training.

Love

Give yourself a daily hug and I mean this quite literally. A big old hug or a quick “I love you” in the mirror is all it takes. Don’t worry about looking foolish – you’re the only one looking so embrace that inner goofy you. It is important and often rare that we simply and kindly acknowledge ourselves. You deserve love, you are loving, and your very existence is lovely and amazing.

Rest

Allow your soul to chill out. Searching and seeking out constant stimulation from a million wonderful and inspiration sources can be a soul sucker. Release yourself from the need to win, keep up, expand, learn, strive, and create all the time. Sometimes you need to simply be and have faith in life’s unfolding. Rest nurtures your soul and readies you for much deeper soul training.

What I have found from my own soul training is this. I feel like I’m awakening. I’m seeing and feeling things differently. I’m laughing more. I’m lighter. I’m spending a lot more time doing things that matter to me. Early this morning (my new routine) I was marveling at the beauty of the lemon I was holding before I squeezed it into my morning lemon water (another new routine). My soul felt connected, grounded, and surprisingly aware.

Practice is all it takes. Daily lifting, feeding, lightening, bending, loving, and resting will warm your heart, invigorate your mind and body, and tone your inner core. I hope you give it a try. Your soul will thank you.

Katie Tallo is a mother, wife, writer, director, P90xer, almost-vegan, soul trainer and motivator who seeks to inspire people to gather their own wildly unique sense of momentum. She blogs at Momentum Gathering and has developed The 7-Week Life Cleanse: A Guide to Infusing Your Life with Momentum. Katie is a member of The A-List Blogging Club and Senior Editor of The Daily Brainstorm.

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