By Mary Jaksch

Zen meditation is not only a way to feel more peaceful or get rid of stress – it’s an amazing journey into the unknown.

Maybe you are a beginner and have never meditated before. Or maybe you are an experienced meditator.

In any case, it’s important to approach meditation with Beginner’s Mind. Approach each meditation as if it were for the very first time.

Zen meditation is called Zazen.

Which simply means ‘seated meditation’. Read through the following instructions in order to find out how to do it. If you already know about that, read through anyhow. I’m sure you will find something to inspire you.

Preparation for Zazen

There are some basic practical steps you can take to make your sitting more comfortable.

1. Find a time when you will be undisturbed. Take the phone off the hook and ask your partner, friends or others in the house not to disturb you for the time you will be meditating.
2. It’s good to sit in a space that is quiet and uncluttered. Turn off the stereo or TV. For many of us it will be impossible to find total quiet and we may still hear neighbors playing loud music or cars racing in the street. That’s alright – it can help us come back to the present moment.
3. It’s best not to meditate on a full stomach if you can, and wear comfortable loose clothing.
4. You might want to create a small ritual before zazen to help set the scene and allow you to move into the meditative space. This may be as simple as lighting a candle, taking a short walk around the garden, or having a special cup of tea.

If you’re new to meditation, remember that it’s a practice. At first it will feel strange and awkward – but in time you’ll feel the benefits in your life.

The value of good posture

Someone once asked me:
“What’s the most important thing when meditating?”
I said, “Posture!”
Posture is important because body and mind are directly linked. When the body is upright and well aligned, the mind is in balance and still.

It’s important for the body to be as relaxed as possible, while still keeping the integrity of your upright posture. In his book, The Posture of Meditation, Will Johnson says:

The posture of meditation allows us to begin to soften our rigidities. The more we are able to soften the holding and tightness in our bodies, the easier it is to open the heart.

Further down, I’ll describe various postures for zazen (Zen meditation), but alignment is important in every one of them. Zazen is meticulous work and details are important. How we hold our body, for example, or how we breathe is important. You need to be as comfortable as possible during zazen so that you can sit without moving.

Alignment

When you were a child and played with building blocks, you found that if you wanted to pile them one on top of each other to make a high tower, you had to align them vertically. If you didn’t, the tower would soon crash. It’s the same when doing Zazen. If our posture is upright, we can make friends with gravity, instead of fighting it.

In his book Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki said:

You should not be tilted sideways, backward, or forwards. You should be sitting straight up as if you were supporting the sky with your head…When you have this posture, you have the right state of mind, so there is no need to try to attain some special state.

We can meditate in a number of different positions – on a cushion, on a bench, on a chair or even lying down (though I don’t recommend this one as it is too easy to fall asleep).

The instructions on how to sit in each of these positions is described below.

When we are sitting in meditation, the posture we are trying to achieve is as follows:

• A steady stable position;
• The spine in a natural alignment
• The head level (chin not tilted up or down)

If you are going to meditate in the first three of the following positions, you will need a mat and a firm cushion or two. The mat could be a couple of folded blankets. Or you can get a proper Zen mat, called zabuton and a sitting cushion, called zafu.

Burmese

Zazen Positions

The most important thing is to be comfortable when you meditate so that your body and mind can be still. Here are some positions you can choose from.

Burmese
Place your cushion or cushions to the back of your mat. Sit cross-legged on the front half your cushion so that your knees come down onto the mat.

Place your legs one in front of the other. If your knees are up off the ground, place some support cushions underneath.

Seiza

Seiza

Seiza is a kneeling position where the backside is supported. You can either use a seiza bench for this or sit astride a couple of cushions that you have placed on your mat.

Lotus
Sit as in Burmese posture but bring one foot or both feet right up on to your thighs. This is called lotus. Stretches can help you work towards this. But do not force this posture as you can cause lasting damage to knees and hips.

Chair

If you have pain sitting in Burmese or in seiza, you may want to use a chair. Choose an upright chair and sit well back so that your spine is straight. Your feet should rest on the ground. If your legs are too short to reach the ground, place a firm support cushion under your feet.

Mudra

Hand position (Mudra)

Rest your right hand on your thigh and place your left hand on  top with thumb tips lightly touching. The shape of your hands should be a flattened oval as if you are holding something precious. Your thumb-tips are like a bio-feedback mechanism: If you are thinking, your thumbtips

Eyes

Keep your eyes slightly open. This is important. If you sit with closed eyes, you will be more likely to be swept away by thoughts and fantasies.

What to do with the mind

You knew the mind of meditation when you were little! Just imagine that you’re a kid playing hide and seek.You’re hiding behind a curtain, waiting to be found. All senses sharp and your attention given fully on the task.

The ‘hide-and-seek’ mind is the mind of zazen

There is no need to be grim when you sitting on your mat. You can try a little smile!

The miracle of breath

Breathing is a universal foundation for meditation practice. Each breath is like the cycle of life itself – being born, coming to maturity, fading away, and finally dying.

I suggest that you take up a very simple and beautiful breath meditation that Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh teaches:

As you breathe in, silently say “in”, as you breathe out, silently say “out”.

You will find that your mind wanders. That’s natural. Simply bring yourself back to your breath and, saying “in” and “out”.

Zen meditation can transform your life over time. It’s a wonderful way to feel more peaceful or get rid of stress – and it’s an amazing and mysterious path into the unknown.
Enjoy these related articles:

Do You Suffer from Spiritual Fatigue? How to Recover in 1 Day or Less

De-stress, Unwind: The True Value of Silence

What is Natural Spirituality?

Save the World – One Breath at a Time

How to Make Life Spacious

How to Develop Intelligence at Any Age

How to Start Meditating – 10 Tips

By Mary Jaksch

It can be difficult to forgive those who  hurt us. In fact, we sometimes cling to our grievances and grudges. Because our stories of grievance and resentment are a way to define who we think we are.

Just think for a moment – do you carry stories of grievances?

I’ve met many people whose lives are completely consumed by their story of neglect or abuse. It may be a story of how their parents or other family member mistreated them, or how a partner or friend betrayed them, or how they fell victim to a crime.

Now this may sound strange, but there is a payoff from carrying grudges.

The payoff of resentful stories is that we can blame failure or misery on others. We don’t have to take responsibility for what our life is like. And our stories of grievance can also get other people to take our side. Such stories can create a ‘them against us’ scenario. Stories about grievances have been told since the beginning of mankind.  Like K D Lang’s celebrated song Trail of Broken Hearts.

Why should we let go of grievance, and embrace forgiveness? It’s quite simple, really.

Grievance makes us miserable – forgiveness set us free

But aren’t some thing just too hard to forgive? Here is the story of Anne Marie Hagan from Canada:

Anna was a 19 year old nursing student when she saw her father brutally murdered by a neighbor who was suffering from schizophrenia. She became completely consumed with anger, bitterness, vengeance, and self-pity: “I was absolutely determined that this man would never, ever regain his freedom. The longer he was locked away, the greater the value of my father’s life.”

And then, 17 years later she saw the perpetrator face-to-face:

It was during this meeting, while learning more about him as a human being and the horrendous suffering that he’d endured, that everything changed.

She writes that in that meeting,  16 years and 10 months of misery was just wiped away.

As he started to cry and said, “I’m to blame, I’m to blame”, I couldn’t take it anymore. I rushed around the table and hugged him, telling him that I forgave him. I remember saying to him, “Blame is too strong a word, blame is too strong a word.”

Can we learn to forgive?
The good news is that we learn to forgive. It’s important to understand that forgiveness isn’t just an act of will. The path to forgiveness is through compassion, and there are a number of steps that make it easier to move towards forgiveness.

Here is what Anne Marie Hagan says:

I could never have imagined that in doing so, I would set myself free. Finally I was able to let go of all the pain and torment that had held me captive, realizing that I’d been my own jailer. My life changed as I began to see the world.

My father’s killer is now 59 years old. He has a job, and he’s working towards a university degree. I admire him for having the strength and the courage to rebuild his life. I visit him regularly. We have talked at length about what happened on that fateful day, and how my forgiving him has changed both our lives.

You can see how Anne Marie’s life changed in a wonderful way after she was able to forgive. She could now move forward and throw off the shackles of the past.

Can we learn to forgive?

The good news is that we can learn to forgive. But it is not just a single act of will. The pathway to forgiveness is through compassion. Here is what Anne Marie Hagan says:

Forgiveness is not permission. It doesn’t mean that you agree with what the offender has done, or that they had a right to do what they did.  Forgiveness cannot be conditional on remorse because that would mean we can only forgive those who are sorry. Forgiveness is recognizing that the offender is a human being who is deserving of kindness, compassion and love despite the harm they have done.

So what about you – are you willing find the path to forgiveness?

If so, you may like to join us for the next FREE Virtual Zen Retreat How to Forgive and Find Peace (May 1-5. 2010).

Here  are the themes we’ll explore:

• Why should we forgive?
• How forgiveness can be a journey of healing.
• How you can learn to forgive yourself.
• How to forgive: the pathway of compassion.
• How to find peace

Virtual Zen Retreats are designed to work in with your everyday life at home or at work. Each day you’ll get an article, a video, and selected readings, and you’ll be able to share with other participants – or ask questions of myself – in our private forum.

This Virtual Zen Retreats is FREE. But we can only accept a restricted number of participants. If you’re keen to join us, please fill in the form in the sidebar now. Or click here to find out more.

By Mary Jaksch

Are you feeling stressed? Maybe there’s a deadline bearing down on you like a freight train, or an unpaid bill that keeps reappearing in your mailbox. It’s easy to feel strung-out and stressed at those times.

Stress equals preoccupied mind plus tense body.

A tense body is the result of a preoccupied mind. Check in with yourself for a moment. What are your predominant thoughts? If you’re stressed, you’ll most likely experience one or more of the following thought-patterns:

• You are anxious about the near future.
• You experience a lot of negative self-talk, such as ‘I can’t do this’ or ‘It’s just too much’ etc.
• You try to keep all your commitments in your head and feel overwhelmed.

When we are stressed, it sometimes feels like we are wound up tight, sometimes right to breaking point. It’s important to learn how to unwind and relax body and mind – even if only for short periods.

The key factor of stress is preoccupation.

When we are preoccupied,  we don’t experience the present moment because our mind is somewhere else. When we return to the present moment, a small miracle happens – stress drops away. This is a simple and effective way to calm you mind. The more you practice returning to the present moment, the more you learn how to put your stressed mind at ease.

The five senses are doorways into the Now

Take a moment right now to check in with your senses.

• What do you hear right now?
• What do you see right now?
• What do you smell right now?
• What body sensations do you feel right now?

Just checking in with your senses made you feel calmer, right? Remember to stop and check in with your senses whenever you feel stressed. You will find that it’s a relief to return home to the present moment.

Moments make up our life: inspiring moments, joyful moments, grieving moments, playful moments – moments of all different shades and colors. When we are preoccupied, we miss what this moment right now has to offer. We miss your life itself.

Watch this inspiring video that shows life’s wonderful tapestry of moments:

The next FREE Virtual Zen Retreat is filling up fast. Reserve your place now as places are strictly limited.

A guest post by Patrick Stoeckmann from Unwrap Your Mind

Breathing – it is our most basic function. And it is the most essential for survival. Yet most of the time we don’t think of it consciously, we just do it.

And we have no choice, since our subconscious tightly controls the automatic rhythm of inhaling and exhaling to ensure our survival.

While there are many techniques to control breathing especially in Yoga, which have certainly beneficial effects on your health if conducted properly, there is a hidden secret in your everyday breathing – this secret is so well kept from your eyes because it is with you every second of your life.

In this article, I am not talking about specific breathing patterns, health benefits or training your breathing. I am talking here about becoming aware of these connecting layers of breathing with the universe, and how this can help you grow on many levels of your life, including the emotional and spiritual level.

Since breathing is for most of us such an unconscious habit, I want you to close your eyes and watch your breathing for about 1 minute.

Go on – do it NOW! What you might become aware is that there are 4 phases or stages in every breath you take.

The 4 Stages of Breathing

• Stage 1: Inhaling
• Stage 2: First Pause
• Stage 3: Exhaling
• Stage 4: Second Pause

Each of these 4 stages has a specific meaning you can use for meditation as well as for becoming much more aware of the different levels of your existence. Each of these 4 stages is a representation of:

• the 4 stages of life and death
• the 4 seasons
• the 4 stages of every day
• the 4 stages of receiving and sharing everything in this world.

By becoming aware of these, you can transform your understanding and your relationship to these important parts of your life.

Now with this exercise, I highly advise you not to force any of the 4 stages – simply just observe them.

Simply close your eyes for some minutes, watch your breathing and become aware of the processes and layers that unfold through breathing. Become aware how breathing connects you with everything.

Stage 1. Inhalation

Inhale air through your nose and not through the mouth, since the nose helps to control temperature & humidity of the air, as well as hindering any dust or other particles in the air from reaching your lungs.

The process of inhalation brings the outer world into your world. It is an act of receiving the outer world, of opening yourself up to connect with the outer world. This receiving act connects you with the whole universe, with every human being that has ever lived.

It is quite possible that with one breath, you receive atoms that have been part of Mahatma Ghandi as well as Adolf Hitler. Want to do the math? Look here.

This shouldn’t frighten you but make you realize that behind the facade and illusion of the world with all its ups and downs, all its terrors and hopes, there is something that connects all of them, permeates them and transcends them.

Let all this into your being. Let the universe with all its vast variety fill your lungs and your whole body.

When you breathe in, then realize that you opened the doors to your system, and you should open your mental and spiritual doors as well with this move, by realizing that you are one with everything.

Say “Come in and thank you for joining me” for about a minute while inhaling.

If you compare the whole cycle of breathing to the cycle of life, this is the phase from birth to maturity. It is the time of spring in the 4 seasons as well as the morning of every day that this stage is associated with. It is the stage where life is given.

In the bible, god breathed life into man, so when man inhales, he receives this life force again. You can realize that this inhalation of life force is not something that happened millions of years ago (if you believe in the Genesis literally), but it is something that happens with every inhalation again.

Breath is what makes our existence and as long as we breathe, we are alive. So every breath you take in is like a new birth. Every inhalation is a new start. With every inhalation, you can make a decision to change. Suck into you that force from a greater spiritual level and rejuvenate yourself by focusing on receiving that power.

Stage 2: First Pause (Between Inhalation and Exhalation)

The first pause between inhalation and exhalation is a moment of keeping, of closing your system from the open phase of inhalation. This is the phase of nourishment, of using what you have received. We just received the power from the inhalation.

Now it is time to use it for ourselves. At this phase, there is a lot happening in our system. The exchange of oxygen (=power) and carbon dioxide (=waste) is what secures our survival, since we would die without this happening regularly.

We cleanse ourselves and nourish our cells and for that we need that little moment of silence. At this moment, silence is born. Going within with all the power we have, we prepare to give it to the world, but before we can give (=exhalation) we need to transform the air (as well as we need to transform ourselves).

We need to become someone else. And we literally are – with every breath, our atomic composition changes, and we aren’t the same person as just a second before.

At this stage, we use that power to change ourselves, to become more, to increase our powers. There is a danger here in that this is the stage where you might want to hold onto what you have just received. You are so full with the good stuff you just received, that you might get dizzy if you don’t let it go.

That is the beauty of this phase. It teaches us to enjoy the gifts we received, yet we also must let go all of the things we received in our life. This phase is associated with summer, noon of every day and the maturity of our life. It is the phase of potency and power that builds up inside.

Stage 3: Exhalation

After we used all the stuff that we needed from air, it is now time to let it go and to share it with the world.

Although we might want to hold on to it for longer, the cycle of breath forces us to learn the lesson of the flow. And with this phase, it is time to let the air flow out from you.

It is a phase of giving yourself to the world. Give what you have received and more. This time you share yourself with the world. Some people are frightened by this phase, about giving away the power that you felt inside. And we subconsciously might fear, that we won’t get another breath in. That this is our last breath.

The last act we do in our life before dying, is giving our last breath.

That is also a powerful metaphor. The last thing we do on this earth is sharing and giving to the world. It’s been said, that you can’t take anything with you from this earth. So no matter how much you amassed through your life. You give it away in the end.

The big lesson of this stage is to let go. To give yourself away. To not be afraid of it. To enjoy it. This phase is associated with autumn, evening of every day and the later years of your existence (maybe after you retired).

Stage 4: Second Pause (Between Exhalation and Inhalation)

We then have another pause -but this pause is quite different from the first one.

While the first pause was one full of power, this one is the pause of being empty and powerless. However, this state of being powerless doesn’t mean helpless or lost nor does it need to be frightening.

It is like a cup that prepares itself to be filled again. This filling up is coming from the outside and the big lesson that this phase can teach you is to become still.

It is the passive phase; the phase of stillness; of waiting for what will come to you. After you’ve given everything, you are waiting, listening and at this time you are connected with your creator, because he might come to you to give you another breath, and give power and life to you again with the next inhalation. And so the circle closes.

This stage is associated with winter, night and sleep as well as with death. If you believe in reincarnation, this concept will be easy for you to understand, since death is just a phase before being born again.

Even if you don’t believe in the concept of reincarnation, you should know that science has proved that no atom ever gets lost. It just moves to another form. And yet while your body might not been born again, every atom of your body moves to build other forms after you are gone. And in this (real physical) sense, you have given yourself to the world to build new forms.

Then you yourself became a creator in this world with your last breath as well as becoming part of everything.

Becoming aware of this enables you to use the power of breathing to reconnect you with your creator, the universe and the powers that lie within.

You get the true understanding that everything is just flowing and changing, just like you.

You are reborn every minute.

I am looking forward to your thoughts on this issue.

Read more from Patrick at his blog, Unwrap Your Mind.

By Mary Jaksch

Are you stressed? Is life running too fast and you just can’t keep up? Does your life seem like an unending list of tasks and not enough time to complete them? If so, read on. Because there is something you can do to turn stress into serenity. Something simple.

All of us experience times when life seems full-on. I’m in a stressful phase right now as I’m completing a project that Leo Babauta of Zen Habits and I dreamed up together. (All will be revealed in a couple of days…!) So, I’m writing this to remind not only you, but also myself how to find serenity in stressful times.

The good news is that we can bring more serenity into our life through a simple change. Most people think that we have to radically modify what we do in order to find serenity. And it’s true that certain habits, like meditation, exercise, or a balanced diet will improve your life. But the real key to finding serenity lies in changing the way we use our mind.

The key to serenity is mindfulness

“Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and non-judgmentally” ~ Jon Kabat-Zinn

What is Mindfulness?

When we are completely present, our experience changes in a significant way. Suddenly life seems more spacious and peaceful. Mindfulness means being present with a clear mind and an open heart.

Jon Kabat-Zinn wrote a brilliant book about mindfulness called Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. I’ve lent my copy to many people and it’s finally walked off my shelf and found another home.

Kabat-Zinn is a professor of medicine, as well as a meditation teacher. He founded the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society at the University of Massachusetts Medical School. (You can watch a video of a talk he gave at the Center for Mindfulness here, read an article about his work here, or download a podcast interview with Jon here.)

It’s really due to Professor Kabat-Zinn’s work that mindfulness – which is a Buddhist meditation techniques – has become an integral part of mainstream medicine and psychology.

Mindfulness means bringing full, soft attention to the task at hand.

It seems simple, doesn’t it? And it is. But it’ not easy. Somehow, the mind tends to flit about from the past to the future and back again and rarely settles on the present. The reason our mind flits about is that our thoughts of the past and the future are driven by emotions.

For example, thoughts of the past are usually connected with regret, anger, grief, or pleasure – depending on which mind-stories we run. Whereas thoughts of the future are usually connected with anxiety, fear or hope. After all, it’s difficult to be afraid of the past, isn’t it?

When our emotions run high it can be difficult to experience and rest in the present moment. However, the present moment is when we are fully alive! I reckon that most people hang out more than 80% of their waking life in stories of the past or future.

Imagine that: eighty percent of our life remains unexperienced!

Because when our mind is engulfed with stories, we miss the experience of the moment.

How about this moment?

Pause for a moment right now and take three deep breaths… Notice sounds and smells. Feel the breath flowing in and out.

All of us tend to let our mind drift when faced with a ‘boring’ task. The good news is that if we pull ourselves back into the present moment, the task is transformed, and boredom soon disappears. So, whether it’s washing the dishes, or cutting carrots, or driving in the rush hour – mindfulness can transform ‘lost’ time into islands of ease and joy.

In his book The Miracle of Mindfulness, Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh says:

The first function of mindfulness is to recognize what is there. The second function of mindfulness is to embrace it and to get deeply in touch with it.

Mindfulness needs training.

It’s like riding a bike: you need to practice and get through the wobbly phase until the new skill be comes automatic. Mindfulness is a skill of the mind. And you need to practice it daily in order really taste the difference in your life.

A simple way to practice mindfulness.

Whenever you notice that your mind is straying away from the task at hand, stop for a moment. Then touch forefinger and thumb for one complete in-and out-breath. Then continue your task and notice how your experience changes through becoming mindful.

Try it. It works!

Let me know your thoughts about mindfulness in the comments. I’m keen to see how you go!

Related posts:

How to Start Meditating: Ten Important Tips

Save the World – One Breath at a Time

De-stress, Unwind: The True Value of Silence

Images: Flowers with dew (3x) by ecstaticist Serene water with reeds by Shenghung Lin

By Mary Jaksch

Confidence doesn’t happen. We create it. Even though in the past other people may have knocked our confidence, we can change how we feel right now. Here are some trick and tips to show you how to make that change happen.

We can expand our circle of confidence.

Your circle of confidence is what you think you can do. For some people, this circle is very tight and there are only a few aspects of life where they feel confident. For others, the circle of confidence is large and contains many different skills.

Be that as it may, everyone can benefit from enlarging one’s circle of confidence.

A few days ago a friend of mine, Dr. Yashu Wheeler, who is an experienced NLP trainer led me through an interesting exercise to show me what happens when we let go of limiting thoughts. Here is the exercise, step by step:

1. Stand and  hold your arms out horizontal
2. Turn to the right as far as you can go
3. Check the farthest point on the wall you can see to the right
4. Come back to centre, release your arms and close your eyes
5. Keep eyes closed and visualize being able to turn further with ease and looking at a point 60cm further than before.
6. Now open your eyes and repeat the initial exercise

How far are you able to turn this time?

When I repeated the exercise after the visualization, I was amazed to see that I could now see a spot on the wall that was really 60cm further on. And I could turn with ease. My body was suddenly much more flexible.

Just imagine if we applied this method to every aspect of our life!

What holds us back the most are our own critical judgments. All of us have a cutting little voice that tends to whisper nasty things into our ear. Things like, “You’re hopeless!” or, “You’re stupid!”.

Say ‘no’ to your gremlin

Next time you hear your own judgmental thoughts telling you that you’re no good, imagine a little gremlin sitting on your left shoulder. What does it look like? What color is it? Maybe you can imagine it in some way that makes you smile.

Whenever you notice negative self-talk, imagine the gremlin sitting there and say to it firmly, “Not now!” Then carefully wipe it off your shoulder. (To others it’ll look as if you’re brushing lint off your clothes.)

In the following there are some ways to help you to expand your circle of confidence:

• Find role models

The way human beings develop and grow is through following role models. It’s useful to find a role model you want to follow. Keep in mind that if someone is successful in one particular area, it doesn’t make them a saint! Read what they have to say. Your main focus need to be: “He/she did it, and I can do it too!” Remember that all successful people were unknown and unimportant at some point in their life.

• Use affirmations

Affirmations are great tools to change the way we see ourselves. Put stickers on your mirror and in unexpected places, saying “I am getting stronger every day!” Make sure that what you say is believable. “I am the greatest!” may have worked for Cassius Clay, but it may not work for you. Personally, I prefer affirmations that honor growth, like “I am becoming more … every day!”

• Choose baby steps

If you have a grand goal it may seem overwhelming. But every grand goal can be chunked down into small segments. It doesn’t matter how small your steps are, all that matters is that you put one foot in front of the other.

• Eliminate negative self-talk

Everyone of us has a lot more negative self-talk going on then we think we have. Here’s an experiment to prove my point. Get yourself wide a rubber band that fits comfortably around your wrist. Now change that rubber band to the other wrist every time you notice negative self-talk. I was surprised – in the first hour of wearing the wristband, it flew from side to side! And I thought I’m a pretty positive person… You try and see how you go.

• Get up when you fall
  We all fall down at times. In fact, failure is a built-in factor of success. Getting up after a fall is crucial.  Here’s a  story about falling and getting up:
  A monk looking for some guidance and encouragement goes to Abba Sisoius and asks:
  “What am I to do since I have fallen?”
  The Abba replies: “Get up.”
  “I did get up, but I fell again.”
  “Get up again.”
  “I did, but I must admit that I fell once again. So what should I do?”
  “Do not fall down without getting back up.”

When we widen our circle of confidence, we tend to stumble and fall along the way. Just think back to when you learned to ride a bike. Maybe you were a genius at riding a bike. I wasn’t. But I was determined to learn – mainly to get even with my older brother!

• Celebrate achievements

Have you ever been successful? I don’t mean the kind of big successes that others applaud. I mean simple successes. Like, have you ever made a tasty meal? Or have you ever been able to mend something that was broken? Was there a time that you achieved something that seemed impossible to you?

Did you find it difficult to come up with your successes? I’m sure that if I had asked you about your failures, you would been able to reel them off easily. It’s quite strange how we tend to store memories of failures so well, and tend to forget about successes.

My suggestion is to make a conscious effort to call to mind times when things went well for you. The more you remember what went well, the better you will do in the future.

• Associate with positive people

Confidence is infectious! If you hang out with people who are positive and can see your potential, it helps you to see your own potential.

The interesting thing is that when our confidence grows in one area, it also infects other areas. It’s like a confidence virus!

Let me give you an example: one of my areas of growing confidence is the technical aspect of blogging (I’m trying to say as positively as possible that I suck at techie stuff). What is really helping me there is – wait for it – cooking. My son Sebastian gave me Jamie Oliver’s cookbook ‘Jamie’s Ministry’ and I’m slowly  working my way through it. The recipe’s are easy and I often invite friends to be try my meals.

The success I have whenever I try one of Jamie’s recipes seems to rub off on my technical ability. Whenever I struggle with a particular technical challenge, I remind myself of my new cooking skills, and I suddenly feel more confident.

Yes, confidence is infectious.

Let’s create a goodlife pandemic: let’s all infect each other with confidence!

You can use the comment section to release the virus
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Photo by orvaratlii

Virtual Zen sounds like a contradiction. After all, Zen means waking up to each moment. It’s very much about being real and inhabiting life fully.

Can ‘virtual’ Zen work?

Our first Virtual Zen Retreat, AWARENESS: MIRACLE OF NOW, was a foundational retreat. My aim was to offer an opportunity to learn how to meditate, and to explore how mindfulness makes life vivid and vibrant.

A participant said:

“I’ve been trying to start meditating for years. You’ve got me started at last.”

It was a knife-edge challenge to create a retreat that that can help beginners and experienced Zen people alike. I encouraged all participants to approach the retreat with Beginner’s Mind. Zen Master Shunryu Suzuki said:

“In the mind of the beginner there are many possibilities, in the mind of an expert there are few.”

Whether it’s the nip of cold in the air, or your partner’s gaze, or your breath rising and falling – Beginner’s Mind allows us to approach each moment completely afresh.

Did the virtual retreat manage to convey Beginner’s Mind? I think so – at least for some. One person wrote:

“WOW! It was a real game-changer!”

Do we need virtual retreats?

Traditional week-long Zen retreats (sesshins) are held in seclusion. That means that people leave their ordinary lives to devote time to developing their spirituality. Such retreats are a marvelous opportunity to deepen practice.

However, it’s not so easy to take a week off work and travel to a retreat center. Many people are bound by responsibilities that prevent them from leaving home. It may be that they are looking after children or after aged parents. Or they need to use their sparse holiday for time with their family. Or their employment may be tenuous and they can’t take time off work.

Virtual retreats allows people to focus on their spirituality for a period of days without having to leave home.

A guided retreat in the midst of ordinary life is radical.

The Internet has made that possible for the first time in history. Each day, a retreat email brought an articles outlining the theme of the day, as well as suggested exercised into each participants’ inbox. In addition, people could choose to receive Twitter messages with gentle practice reminders. (Twitter actually had a high uptake. Over 110 participants joined the Twitter service). In addition, people could gather in a private forum to share their experience of the day.

Is it what people want?

When I first had the idea of offering a virtual Zen retreat, I thought that maybe fifty people would join – not four hundred! I expected that we would have participants from, say, Los Angeles, New York, or Sydney.

But I was amazed to see participants from Islamabad and Calcutta, Arima in Trinidad, or Tire in Turkey. Not to mention Paris, Madrid, Bucharest and most other major European cities. Some people even participated from Shenzhen and Taipei. It was truly international.

I feel humbled that people gathered from all around the world in order to devote time and energy to this retreat!

One person remarked:

“It was a joy to practice with so many people from all over the world! I felt so supported and found I could relate well to people, no matter where they lived.”

The challenges

Setting up the retreat and coping with so many enrolments was daunting. I could never have done it on my own! Luckily I worked with a great team: Deb Moran, the Retreat Administrator, and Miraz Jordan, the Technical Advisor. Their warm and caring personalities really showed up in the contact with participants. I’m truly grateful for their help. Personally, I love working as a team! It’s exciting and useful to bounce ideas off each other and to carry an important project such as this into the future.

One feature of the retreat was that it was by donation. We wanted to make sure that everyone could participate regardless of their financial situation.

There were some very generous people. And it was heartwarming to get emails from people who were unable to give a donation, but who offered their help instead! We were pleased that donations paid for web hosting costs – but they didn’t pay for the months of full-time work that went into creating the retreat.

Deb and I have decided to keep true to the path of generosity. The next virtual retreat will once again be by donation. And in order to lead by example, we plan to give 10% of all retreat donations to charity. Do you have a favourite charity you would like to suggest?

All in all, I found this retreat deeply satisfying. It was wonderful to see some people’s lives change in just ten days! And I was moved by the depth and integrity of what people shared.

What we want to improve

We all learned a lot about running a virtual retreat and will put that into practice in the future. The enrolment procedure and password protection of the retreat site was a bit of nightmare. But it should be a lot smoother next time.

What I found challenging was to get the level right. I wanted the retreat to be nourishing for beginners as well as for experienced Zen students. That was a walk on a knife edge! Teaching in the next retreat will be a lot easier as we’ve now laid a foundation upon which we can build. (For those who missed the MIRACLE OF NOW retreat, we’re preparing a self-study course that people can do in their own time.)

What I would love to include in the next retreat are daily podcasts and a video or two. That’s challenging for me because I’m not a very technical person. I did try, though! I produced a guided meditation audio – but the file size ended up much too big. Trying to put it up onto the website was like stuffing an elephant into a shoebox.

As to producing videos – I’m in touch with a local film-maker and will take lessons on shooting and editing videos. It will be an interesting journey as I’m starting my learning curve from zero – or actually from slightly below!

How did people experience the retreat?

Here are some reports:

“One central practice each day, with support, made a huge difference in my life. The simplicity and depth of the teachings was effective, the practices just what I needed. Thank you!”

“The ten days have been journey of discovery and consolidation. Opening up the human heart and allowing for the deepening of connections.”

“I am in a period of significant change which will effect how I am for the rest of my life. This retreat came at exactly the right time for me. I am continuing with meditation practice. And I find by doing it I am more at peace with myself and the world.”

Keeping up the momentum

In order to keep up the momentum, we are going to offer our next Virtual Zen Retreat from 21 to 28 of June. The theme is FINDING PEACE IN THE CHAOS OF ANGER. In this retreat you will learn to –

• Develop and deepen meditation skills,

• Find the still center in the midst of emotional turmoil

• Work skillfully with anger.

If you never have any problems with anger, don’t enroll! (We run a special retreat for saints ☺)

If you’ve just completed the last retreat, the most important thing is to keep up your meditation practice. And to find the miracle of NOW, over and over again.

I’d love to hear from those of you who participated in the Virtual Zen Retreat:

Did it work for you?

And if you weren’t able to take part, please share your thoughts in the comments too.

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By Mary Jaksch

The cure of the part should not be attempted without treatment of the whole. No attempt should be made to cure the body without the soul. Let no one persuade you to cure the head until he has first given you his soul to be cured, for this is the great error of our day, that physicians first separate the soul from the body. - Plato

What is healing?

The Oxford Dictionary says ‘healing’ means to make sound or whole, or to restore to health.

Can meditation heal?

Healing as wholeness is a grand theme that includes the spiritual aspect of meditation. I’ll take it up in a later post. In this article, I’ll narrow my question to how medical or mental illness responds to meditation.

One of the researchers who have looked deeply at healing and meditation is Jon Kabat-Zinn, PhD, the Professor of Medicine Emeritus at the University of Massachusetts Medical School,. Kabat-Zinn has published many papers on the benefits of meditation. His book on using meditation for chronic pain conditions is called Full Catastrophe Living. It’s a fantastic book! I’ve lent my copy to so many suffers over time that it’s finally wandered off to live on someone else’s book shelf.

Read below what Kabat-Zinn’s research revealed:

Healing the body

Here is an overview of the reduction of symptoms in various diseases after regular practice of meditation:

• People with heart disease: 45% reduction
• High blood pressure: 43% reduction
• Pain: 25% reduction
• Stress: 31% reduction

In one study, Professor Kabat-Zinn reported that the skin lesions of psoriasis patients who listened to meditation tapes cleared up four times faster than those who did not.

Jon Kabat-Zinn said about these findings:

The implication is that the mind can actually enhance the healing process by a factor of four, and if people need fewer treatments, it costs less,” Kabat-Zinn explains.

Other physiological benefits of meditation

• Deep rest (as measured by decreased metabolic rate, and lower heart rate);
• Lowered levels of cortisol and lactate (two chemicals associated with stress);
• Improved blood pressure;
• Drop in cholesterol levels;
• Improved flow of air to the lungs;
• Significant slowing of the aging process.

There is an interesting healing method that the 17th century Japanese Zen Master Hakuin used in order to cure a life-threatening illness. He suggested placing an imaginary ball of soft butter on one’s head. And then vizualise it melting and flowing down the body. Hakuin said:

Gradually this feeling flows downward: the shoulders, elbow, chest, diaphragm, lungs, liver, stomach, backbone, and buttocks. This sensation is felt throughout the body, and it circulates moving downward, warming the legs, until it reaches soles of the feet, where it stops.

If we analyze Hakuin’s healing practice, it seems very much like doing a body meditation or body scan, in which one moves the warm light of awareness  through the body.

I once used awareness to heal an undiagnosed growth in my sinus. There was a two week gap between the initial scan and the appointment for a biopsy. In that time the growth had completely disappeared. During that time I followed a routine of doing an awareness meditation three times daily, focusing on my sinuses.

Meditation can not only assist in healing the body, it can also heal the mind.

Healing the mind

Researchers at Harvard Medical School found that meditating brings about dramatic effects in as little as a 10-minute session. Several studies have demonstrated that subjects who meditated for a short time showed increased alpha waves (the relaxed brain waves) and decreased anxiety and depression.

I must admit, I have some reservations about these findings. Maybe it’s possible to detect short-term changes after ten minutes of meditation. But I doubt whether they would be permanent!

Psychological benefits of meditation

• Increased feelings of vitality and rejuvenation
• Increased happiness
• Increased emotional stability
• Decreased anxiety
• Decreased depression
• Greater creativity
• Less stress
• Decreased irritability and moodiness
• Improved learning ability and memory
• Increased feeling of peacefulness
• Increased insight.

One thing can be said for sure: meditation is one of the most potent medical interventions. And that’s not even taking into account the spiritual benefits of meditation that can transform our life!

What do you think of the healing power of meditation?

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I hope you are having a great Festive Season and are finding some time to relax and restore your energy. I want to thank you all for your support during this last year. Goodlife Zen is now one year old! I could not have survived the steep learning curve of learning to blog were it not for your encouragement and support.

The most wonderful thing about blogging is that it is a conversation. Your comments have widened and deepened my original themes in ways I never imagined. And they inspire me to write more. Thank you for participating! Congratulations to Claudio – he won the prize for best commenter in November and December and will receive the audio set of the Four Hour Workweek.

I’m looking forward to developing Goodlife Zen further in the coming year. There are a lot of interesting themes that I am itching to write about for you! Also, I’m excited about offering virtual retreats on Natural Spirituality! That will be a ground-breaking way of developing spirituality in the midst everyday life.

A while ago it occurred to me that there are a lot of fake people on the Net who hide behind pseudonyms and pretend to be someone different from who they really are. So I decided to offer a ‘welcome’ video on Goodlife Zen so that you can get a sense of what I’m like – strange accent and all

In response to requests from readers, I would like to offer you a list of 17 guest posts I wrote this year. I hope you enjoy them. Have a great New Year!

Why Leo Babauta of Zen Habits Gave Me His Blog

Resilience: The Key to Surviving Anything

Are You Sabotaging Your Plan to Exercise More?

Know Your Strength for More Success: Are You a Connector, a Maven, or a Salesman?

How to Establish New Habits the No-Sweat Way

7 Steps Towards Love and Away from Fear

How to Boost Your Productivity with Serial Multi-Tasking

Juicy Writing: 5 Ways to Glue Readers to the Page

The Comprehensive Paint-by-Numbers Guide to Writing an Publishing Your Ebook

How to Use the Art of Positive Realism for Maximum Success

How to Live Life to the Max with Beginners Mind

Liz Strauss: The Secret of Being a Successful and Outstanding Writer

Why You Must Blog Your Trumpet

Darren Rouse: Top Tips for Writers

What Secret Message Does Your Writing Reveal?

Three Things You Need to Know About Using Dialogue in Non-Fiction

Zen Power Writing: How to Generate ideas and Write with Ease

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The economic crisis is casting a shadow on many lives at the moment. Maybe you too have some fears about the future? Are you worried about your job? Or about having less opportunities?

I’m going to to show you a simple way of optimizing your life. It’s called the SWOT analysis and is usually used for analyzing businesses. However, it’s actually a great tool for getting a grip on one’s life! I found that I could see more opportunities, as well as be alert to possible dangers, after I did a SWOT analysis.

A SWOT matrix is a framework for analyzing your strengths and weaknesses, as well as the opportunities and threats you face. This helps you to focus on your strengths, minimize weaknesses, and take advantage of every opportunity.

SWOT is an acronym for Strength, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. The first two, strengths and weaknesses, are our personal attributes that we bring to our life. The second two, opportunities and threats are what the outside world brings to us. In this article I’ll take up the first two aspects of the SWOT matrix: strengths and weaknesses.

Strengths

• What are your signature strengths?

Signature strengths are the things we like doing and are good at. It’s important to be clear about what we are good at. As I pointed out in my article on signature strengths, we tend to be happier if our life is aligned with our signature strengths. And – conversely – you might be very unhappy if what you do isn’t aligned with your strengths. For example, if creativity is one of your key strength, you might not be happy being a career soldier in the army. (Anyhow, I don’t think they’re exactly renown for encouraging creative ideas!)

• What advantages do you have?

What kind of skills do you have? What about your education? I’m thinking of education in the widest sense here. It’s not just formal education that’s helpful in life. It’s also what we learn from life itself. What about your connections? Who do you know? Whom could you work with? Whom could you ask for advice?

• What are you good at?

Make sure that you don’t get tripped up by modesty when answering this question! In general, it’s good not to be puffed up, but in this moment you want to get a clear picture of yourself. When you reflect upon this question, make sure you consider all aspects of your life. And look at all the things you are good at. Even the ones nobody seems to take much notice of. For example, I’m not a particularly good cook, but I make a mean date and ginger chutney! Also, notice what new strengths you’ve noticed recently. For example, I noticed that I tend to make good connections with fellow bloggers and we’re starting to work together. I took this skill for granted because it seems so natural to me. Maybe you too have a strength that seems too natural to be called a skill?

• What personal resources do you have access to?

What are personal resources? The main ones are money, time, and energy. Do you have income or savings to draw from? How about time? Do you have time to develop something new, or are you totally tied up with work and the chores of life? How about energy? Are you full of beans, or do you feel depleted?

• What do other people see as your strengths?

Ask your family, friends, and colleagues about what strength they see in you. They might see something that you can’t.

Weaknesses

All of us have strengths as well as weaknesses. It’s easy to fold at the knees when thinking about our weaknesses. A much better way to address them is to think about how and what we can improve.

• What could you improve?

What would you like to change in your life? Personally, I definitely want to become more patient!

• What should you avoid?

What comes to my mind immediately is – cigarettes! Here’s my cautionary tale: When I was in my twenties, I smoked about thirty cigarettes a day. And then I managed to stop from one day to the next. Seven years later I took just one tiny puff of a cigarette. And three days later I was back on thirty cigarettes a day! It took me another hard year to get off smoking. And I haven’t smoked since. So, I definitely know that I have to avoid cigarettes!
What is it that you should avoid?

• What things do people around you see as weaknesses?

Check out what family and friends see as you weaknesses. Maybe there are also signs you can catch a glimpse of at work. Are there certain tasks that colleagues tend to get done faster and better than you? Are there things that close friends and family say about you that may have a grain of truth?

A while ago I came across a very interesting article by Leo Babauta, called Attack Your Limitations: Turn Your Weaknesses into Strength. It’s a look at how our weaknesses can actually be our strengths in drag. Leo says:

If you develop the mindset that weaknesses aren’t really weaknesses, you’ve just broken through your limitations and fears.

The SWOT matrix is designed to help you break through your limitations and fears. Don’t miss my next week’s article on SWOT, where I’ll write about how to spot opportunities and threats facing you.

Please share your thoughts on the SWOT matrix in the comment section.

Read these related articles:
SWOT Analysis – Part 2: Ten Questions that Will Change Your Life

What are Your Signature Strength?