How to live a life of happiness
Happiness is not a station you arrive at, but a manner of traveling.- Margaret B. Runbeck
Is it possible to be happy all the time?
Happiness and the method to achieve it has been thrown around for thousands of years, with millions of people, promising a million different ways of how to be happy.
But what does it mean to be happy?
Not everyone’s definition of happiness is the same, because everyone has different desires that they want to be fulfilled. An idea that comes in moments rather than being an end result, right?
If happiness is something that comes in moments, how do we turn those moments into permanent destinations?
Is it possible to be happy all the time?
I’m not so sure. I am going to say more than likely, no. I don’t know about you, but if I were happy all the time, something would feel wrong. Not because finding happiness and fulfillment isn’t the most sought after feeling in the world, it most definitely is, but because were not made that way.
The problem of desires
What I mean is that we are made up of what we desire, essentially. We consistently seek pleasure while doing the best we can to avoid pain. Anytime we move to do anything, we do so because there is a desire of pleasure to come of it. Some of these pleasures come naturally to us and don’t really seem like pleasures but without them we would be in pain.
So, we seek out ways to keep our desires filled and try to find ways of how to fill the bigger desires, always looking for more pleasure. But that’s how it should be. We are humans and we want to feel pleasure, we want to be happy.
The problem with the constant need to feel pleasure, is that once we fill a desire, it starts to fade and a new desire forms. Here’s an example: I wait all year to go to my favorite vacation spot. When the time gets close, I get more and more excited. I am ready, I know I’ll have fun, I have all kinds of activities planned. Once I get to my desired destination and do everything I was so excited to do there, I feel happy.
But then what happens? The vacation comes to a close and it’s time to come home. Back to reality, we say. As I think about it though, I am actually glad to get back to my “normal” life. The activities were fun, but I am tired, sore, sunburned and need to rest.
My desire has changed from wanting to have the greatest time of my life, to wanting to just go home and sleep in my own bed. The point here is that because I filled my desire, I no longer need it. It goes away and a new one emerges.
This is happening on a constant basis. Sure, I will get the urge for another vacation sooner or later (probably sooner), but more than likely, I will want to do something different or go somewhere new.
Why happiness is an elusive idea
Since happiness comes in moments due to a desire that becomes fulfilled and then fades away, you could say that happiness is an elusive idea. Perhaps that’s why we always hear about someone’s pursuit of happiness. Now, just because happiness seems like an elusive goal, does not mean it is, let me explain.
The elusiveness that I speak of is merely the way in which our desires are fulfilled and then reprieved, as if to say that happiness comes and then goes in spurts or moments, as I mentioned earlier. Knowing this can allow you to be happy in your life before, during, and after your pursuit of it, whether you are able to fill certain desires or not.
Why it doesn’t matter if you win or lose
What matters is that you know the game, so to speak, of what it takes to be happy. To be happy is to be content with the fact that no matter if a desire is filled, or a goal failed, or dream denied, you know that happiness is a constant journey. A journey that can take a brief second or a lifetime, depending on what you desire.
True happiness comes in those small moments, real happiness comes in knowing how to reach those moments. As long as you know this, you can live a lifelong adventure that is full of happiness, joy, and fulfillment.
What does it take?
Pleasure and pain. Happy and sad. The struggle of life. Just like Yin and Yang, to be happy we need to experience sadness. It is knowing what it takes to be happy in your life, that pushes you through the sad times. So what does it take?
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Pursuit of …
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Listen to …
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Work with …
What it Means to Live through Desires
Knowing that happiness is a journey; knowing where joy comes in the form of fulfilled desires (and that it comes in moments), will allow you to feel a sense of gratitude throughout your path.
Remember that you will not always be happy, but can feel better knowing that you are in constant pursuit of reaching your dreams, both big and small.
Living through your desires will allow you to do what you never thought you were capable of, and see a side of yourself you never knew existed. You’ll be a part of something greater – which will lead you down a path of never ending possibilities.
Your life is what you make of it. As long as you see what leads you to happiness, you will never stop pursuing it.
Through search and pursuit, listening and learning, connecting and helping, your journey through life will be one of fulfillment. To keep moving forward is the key.
Find joy in the moments, clarity in times of sorrow, and happiness in the rewards of the path.
About the Author
Justin Harmon is the founder of Unplugged Recreated. His passion for changing the world and helping others change their world is reflected in his writing. Stop by to join the discussion and sign up to receive the free e-book: An Integral Reality. The Ultimate Guide to Changing Our Future
{ 24 comments }
I believe happiness is a mix of adventure, clarity, understanding, challenges, overcoming difficulties, etc….Your article Justin really summed it up well.
I also like the idea of working with others who have the same desires….I often tend to do things alone but I know it can be more fulfilling with others.
Max´s last [type] ..Meister Eckhart Picture Quote – The True Thing
Thanks Max. I think it is natural to want to do things alone. It is only when we open ourselves up to others around us, that we really start to progress.
Yes, happy in process not mean when we achieve something.
Life is short so we get feel all of time in our life.
That’s right Chu! It’s in the process:)
Justin Harmon´s last [type] ..Why Human Connection is the Key for Your Path to Freedom
Justin, thanks for this article! I agree that happiness can be elusive. I think it’s really important to remember that emotions are transient, including happiness. We just need to remember that when we are not happy, it doesn’t necessarily mean anything bad is happening, it’s just that we are experiencing some kind of other fleeting emotion for the moment. I think striving for a continual stream of contentment with other emotions on top of that is a good way to go.
Bobbi Emel´s last [type] ..Some disassembly required: 5 lessons to put yourself back together after falling apart
Your welcome Bobbi. I agree. In the times when we are not happy, it doesn’t mean it’s bad, it just means that it is time to move forward. Life’s a continuous process. Thanks
Love the article by the way
(Some Disassembly required)
Justin Harmon´s last [type] ..Why Human Connection is the Key for Your Path to Freedom
“Find joy in the moments, clarity in times of sorrow, and happiness in the rewards of the path”.
When I gave up the pursuit of happiness and self improvement for understanding that all of our emotions helpful including pain and sorrow I discovered self acceptance which in turn made me happier.
Enjoyed this article, especially the part about understanding what desires are.
You know Priska, this is the first time I have ever been quoted, thank you. It makes me happy to hear you found your self acceptance. Glad you enjoyed the article.
In reflecting on your ideas, I’m reminded of the Dalai Lama who says he’s generally a happy and contented person. I think it’s possible and the points you make about understanding desire and attachment are very important. For me, true happiness is about being present in the moment and open to the fullness of life rather than being in the pursuit. It’s about seeing reality as it is.
Sandra Pawula´s last [type] ..A Simple Way to Cultivate Generosity
Hi Sandra,
I am glad you have found your answer to true happiness. It is definitely good to just let life happen, rather than chasing something all the time. I also believe that we need to strive to improve or rather, progress ourselves constantly. More so on an inner level that is. Thanks
This is a thought provoking post. I certainly can identify with the excitement of a long awaited vacation and the joy that comes from being safely home..both can be happy events. For me happiness is not so much about what is happening but about being in the moment and being OK with what is… In other words I am able to release resistance and say “It’s all good,” no matter what is actually going on.
Celeste Smucker´s last [type] ..The Real Food Lovers Diet
Celeste,
Thanks for the comment. Nothing wrong with being in the moment, it’s the moments that count. When you say “It’s all good”, it reminds me of a manager I had once. He used to say that all the time when I asked him “how’s it going”. Memories are wonderful for remembering moments as well.
Hey Justin,
Wonderful and thought provoking! You certainly have a connection with the infinite. In reading between the lines, if you don’t think that presumptuous, I could hear you saying the following:
We experience bouts of pleasure and excitement like a surfer rides the waves above the ocean below. We (our inner beings) are the ocean, a state of pure joy that is our birthright and the waves that our physical (outer) selves ride represent the highs and lows of the often emotional “pursuits” in life. Both selves are vital.
I find it helpful to realize these two selves have different perspectives. Like you say, we can pursue if we want to pursue, we can succeed or fail, win or lose. And during all this, the depth of our inner beings can flow in peace and joy while we experience both highs and lows on the “surface” of life. Sure, pursue happiness knowing that we ARE joy at the core.
I see where not everyone agrees exactly on happiness and pursuit and that’s to be expected. It’s beautiful that we can choose where we spend our time. On the waves, in the depths, or perhaps some combination. Awesome.
Thanks for this Justin. Great stuff.
Carmelo
Your welcome Carmelo,
Love the surfing analogy, wonderfully written and great job of reading between the lines. You description is so well put, I don’t even know how to respond.
I will say that it is important to know that on our path through life, what we see outside ourselves is a reflection of our internal journey. Thank you for such a thought provoking response Carmelo.
To me, happiness is a state of being in the moment, an alignment with your inner spirit, and appreciating everyone and everything that has brought you to this point in life. I wake up, turn on my computer, water my plants and say a prayer of thanks. There is always something to be thankful for—this brings me happiness.
Leticia Parra´s last [type] ..The Spirit of a Child
Whenever I feel unhappy, I remind myself that I still have a lot to be thankful for. Sounds cliche, but it is true and it works in improving my mood. In this life, there will always be pain and suffering, but if you allow yourself to get carried away by negativity, you can easily lose your sanity.
Good thoughts on “Happiness” and it is all something I have been thinking about recently.
As I was driving home one evening I arrived on the brow of the hill running down to our farm, I took in our spectacular view of hills, sea and countryside all was calm in my life and I thought “at this moment I am truly happy”! It was quite euphoric. Since then I’ve been thinking about the roots of happiness and largely agree with everything in your e-mail. However I think there is another element in the whole train of philosophical thought and it is a question of “readiness”. I suspect one needs to be in the moment at that moment- what makes you happy one day may not the next. I also wonder about the concept of “searching” for happiness. Could it be that if you are living as well as you know how, those moments will drop into place like a gift fom the Gods? That fat little baby hand that creeps into yours, the perfect temperature when you are wearing exactly the right kind of clothing – that ice cold mountain lake that appears just round the corner that you have to plunge into! all you need is to be ready, to have your mind open to the concept of possible happiness and suddenly wham bang there you are – happy! I know lots of people who seem to have made a decision not to be happy.
(thoughts three days later) Mary, is this something to do with what the Buddists call “mindfulness”?
Susan, thanks for your insight. I think you nailed another important factor and that is to have your mind open for happiness. Searching for happiness is simply something that we are doing on a constant basis, brought on by our desires at a particular time and moment. It’s in times of real enlightenment, as those you have mentioned, and times where we feel suffering and lost, that we have the capability of opening our mind and heart to discovering something that was in us all along, the desire to be happy and to fulfill that desire. Sure, we can become content with our lives, but we are always searching for the next pleasure, rather the next moment of happiness.
Justin Harmon´s last [type] ..Survival Checklist for a Changing World
Thanks for your post.
Your words were soothing, relaxing, downright uplifting.
By nature I’m a pessimistic person in many things. I, like most people, probably hate my life more often than I love it. I—also like most people—am determined to reverse that math, resize the proportions so that the pleasures in life substantially outweigh the negatives.
I do find though, that I’m able to get immense enjoyment from some of the simpler things in life—a long walk, my mind drifting over a single red cardinal strutting along its branch; a solitary half-hour on the porch swing observing an army of black ants aerate their nest by excavating a massive mound of soil; a night when I can stay up to three in the morning, perhaps pondering life’s unanswerables or simply curled up to watch a black and white gangster film, my fingers clasped around a warm mug of cocoa –without worry of an six AM alarm clock.
More of that, those simple, stress free hours– doesn’t seem like too much to ask for.
I don’t have a ton of sympathy for those who say they need a lot to be happy—money, fame, the attention of the world.
If you have any shot at true happiness it has to be predicated on– and have at its foundation—a core element which can’t be obtained with an ATM card.
Thanks for your kind words Adam. I too am guilty of not liking life too much at times. I find it’s easy to be pessimistic at times, which I also believe makes it easier to reject that attitude. Knowing why life brings us those moments will help us to move past them, to progress in where we are with our lives. Make sense?
It’s important to remember to keep moving forward, keep searching, and after all is said and done, the journey will have been the joy. Keep moving forward my friend.
Justin
Justin´s last [type] ..A New Awakening: How to Change the World
I’m the marketing assistant for Robert Scheinfeld, a NY Times bestselling author who just wrote a new book on how to be happy. It’s called “The Ultimate Key To Happiness.” It offers a v-e-r-y different approach to defining what happiness really is, and a very different step-by-step path to experience it all the time, no matter what’s going on around you. The Internet has gotten so complex. So many options. Can anyone here share ideas for how to get the word out there about this important new book? I’d love to hear your ideas. I’m sure there are tons of ideas I’ve never thought of before.
Be genuine and build relationships with your audience. Happiness is not a destination, it’s the journey. Without some kind of suffering going on in our lives, we cannot progress as human beings. We suffer, so we can overcome. We feel sorrow, so that we may feel joy. Thanks
Justin´s last [type] ..An Individual Development Plan to Following Your Passion
Great Post Justin! I think Happiness isn’t something that you start finding or looking out for. Happiness is found within – in your thoughts, your actions and your responses. It’s easy to fall for that trap where you ‘think’ you are not happy.But the moment you realize that only you have the power to reverse that process and really ‘be happy’ with whatever you have and what you’ve achieved and start telling yourself that ‘Happiness starts with me’- I think we can all start feeling happy from that moment on, isn’t it?:) easier said than done maybe.. but works for me.A ‘smile’ is a good way to start i guess
riya´s last [type] ..In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on!
I loved this article. Indeed, we no longer know for sure what happiness is and how to reach that state..
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