Happiness
By Mary Jaksch
Do you want to feel happier?
Sometimes life can feel like an uphill battle. You struggle and struggle – and it just doesn’t seem to get any easier.
Sounds familiar?
Many people wonder how to feel happier. Even a little more happiness can make all the difference.
You re-discover joy and let go of worry: it’s like shedding a burden.
Why happiness is important
Well, it feels good – for one thing.
Happiness makes us feel that life is a wonderful adventure.
And – most importantly – happiness is infectious: the world smiles back at us.
Conversely, when we are unhappy – we spread gloom.
How to boost happiness
The psychologist Nathaniel Branden, who is considered to be the father of the self-esteem movement, came up with a simple way to boost happiness: the process of question-completion.
Here is how it works:
You use an incomplete sentence, and then quickly jot down six ways to complete it. Branden originally used this method to boost self-esteem, but it works to boost happiness as well.
Complete this sentence:
To bring 5% more happiness to my life …
How to do the sentence-completion exercise:
- Write what comes into your mind; don’t edit your thoughts.
- Don’t worry if you contradict yourself.
- Write down at least six completions each time you use the technique.
- Try completing this sentence each morning for seven days.
What’s next?
What’s next is up to you.
Try it. You may find that it helps you find new pathways to happiness. Are you willing to give it a try?
Let us know in the comments what you think about this strategy.
Image courtesy of LugoLounge
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Been happy makes one to be more productive Mary. I quite agree it was when i started feeling extra joy in me that I began to produce more positice things in my life.
Sheyi
Sheyi´s last [type] ..Ari Meisel Interview: From Sick Bed To Multi Entrepreneur
Oh, that’s a very interesting point, Sheyl
I’m just about to write some stuff about productivity – so, thanks for the reminder!
Actually what I have noticed is that when I am happy I attract more happy moments and events to my life. It’s like the snowbal effect. One has to start and then the rest follows
That’s a very interesting observation, Ani
thanks!
how did he use it to raise self esteem? i have many friends who could use that technique also, in addition to this happiness technique. maybe he said “how can i raise my self esteem 5%?” or maybe he said “6 things that are good about me?” i’d really love to know this and i’d really appreciate it if you had time to tell me this information. thanks so much for your messages/articles! i read them over and over…so warm and helpful.
Margaret, check out the list of sentence completions here: (they are by Nathaniel Branden)
http://www.nathanielbranden.com/psy/psy04c.html
thank you!!
Yes, that’s a good strategy. I’ll do that. Some of the best ideas or quite simple and easy to implement.
So much of life is attitude, particularly our enjoyment of it. This kind of attitude re-direction or modification goes by a lot of names. Years back it was “the power positive thinking.” A disciple of the author of that phrase re-wrote it to “possibility thinking”: “If they throw you in a pit, look for gold!”
We do have a choice, between a negative fixation or a more positive one, between thinking pessimistically, cynically, fearfully, and instead doing the work of being more optimistic–as a habit. I think mindfulness fits in here quite well too. Enjoy the moment, even at work!
(Incidentally, I remember Nathaniel Brandon from years back when he was a sort of apprentice to Ayn Rand. He has come a long ways from that point in his life. And he has good ideas.)
Bill Polm´s last [type] ..A Challenge for You: Describe these Sentences.
Yes, Bill – so much of the way we experience life is a choice.
Mary,
I love the simplicity and baby-stepness of the exercise. So often we try to make a big leap from where we are right over to “absolute, unending bliss” and then beat ourselves up when we miss the mark.
Thanks for the elegantly simple way to bring more happiness into our lives, one step at a time.
Something wonderful is happening through you!
-Helen
Happiness, like any other attitude, is a choice, as Bill said. Funny, I just hit “publish” on a post about this. We choose to be happy by choosing what we focus on and how we interpret what we focus on.
Being mindful of our thoughts and emotions is a practice. Some days we’re better at it than others but it’s important to continue to practice without judgment.
This is a wonderful exercise to keep us focused on our happiness. We get more of what we focus on so choose well.
Thanks Mary!!
Paige | simple mindfulness´s last [type] ..Your Attitude Determines Your Outcome
Thanks, Paige. I look forward to seeing your results from this execise
Yet another great exercise I must try this week.
As has been previously stated here, happiness is a choice. I particularly find it interesting when practiced “on” a spouse or life partner. If i choose to be happy even through a “mood”, it does in fact wear off. And if I allow a bad mood to wear off on me it will too.
One of my latest practices has been to breath in and breath out with words attached. Example: on the in breath love, on the out breath compassion, on the in breath health, on the out breath healing. I think it is a practice that could lead to 5% more happiness and the focus words or triggers can be changed daily, or hourly if need be!
I plan to actually write something down like you suggest for 7 days and see what happens. Mahalo for yet another fantastic Good Life Zen idea.
Jt Clough | Big Island Dog´s last [type] ..Paw to Earth Connection
this reminds me of “the Artist Way” by judith cameron – just write what comes to mind, to tap into our inner thoughts and hence happiness and creativity
Noch Noch
Noch Noch | be me. be natural.´s last [type] ..if I could choose a normal life, would I?
Mary, I just love it that you give us the starter sentence of “To bring 5% more happiness to my life … ” This is SO doable. Very practical and much appreciated. GREAT way to start my day, right before walking meditation, from now on!
Rose Byrd´s last [type] ..“……and you say THE ONE HIGH PRIEST was sacrificed?”
Dear Mary,
Your site is truly simple to navigate in, and offer very good video shares, which I have watched 2 consecutive videos in a row. I also like this idea of just letting go, and ‘be happy’, and focus only on the happy things. Its’ important to let go of fear and shame, and embrace vulnerabilities- through which we can truly be wholehearted in loving ourself- > be happy.. This made me smile to myself today. My husband says I nag/complain most of the time. Taking a step back and reading this post, I think I have chosen to overlook gratitude/happiness and focus on the ‘things to do’, ‘worry list’ etc, not living in the moment, basically..
Hence, I will try to let go and just try not to utter a complain tomorrow. (will try consciously not to).
Thanks, Mary.
Li Li´s last [type] ..Birthday wishes 1,2,3
I love the simplicity and creativity of this approach. It seems very powerful! I look forward to trying it out.
Sandra / Always Well Within´s last [type] ..The Wisdom of Flowing with Change: An Interview with the Vizier
What a good idea! But I wonder if you have thought about extending it to 20 instead of 6 ways? The reason I suggest this, is that when brainstorming how to achieve something you will find it is quite easy to get down the first 6 or even 10 ways. The next 5 are a bit of a challenge. But the last 5 up to 20 are usually tough. And I find the best ideas usually come out of the ones I had to struggle to find. Just a thought which might be helpful ….
Mary, I really like how you always find the way forward, and help others do so too! Thank you.
In this case, I also admire your restraint in not adding a verb at the end of the incomplete sentence. I would have expected to read “To bring 5% more happiness to my life, I will/must/should/can…” Not having the verb(s) at the end truly makes it open – open to whatever the person completing the sentence is open to.
I am a basically happy person. I guess I realized it is a choice and began to make that choice a long time back.
One of the most telling quotes I’ve read about happiness is from Being Happy by Andrew Matthews. He writes something like (I read the book 21 years ago!
): “If you’ve just been fired, your wife has left you, you’ve banged the car and your roof has started leaking, why make things worse by being unhappy?”
I love it!
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