A guest post by Tess Marshall of The Bold Life.
When I think of someone who lived a life without regrets, I think of my mom. She only had a sixth grade education because she quit school to take care of her own mother.
Her first husband died from a brain tumor and she was left with three small children. Soon after, she married my dad and together they raised ten children.
Mom never learned how to drive. She never had her own bank account. She never lived alone. Yet, she had the courage to divorce my dad when she was 65 years old.
She remained friends with my dad after the divorce. When her health failed nearly twenty years later, she moved back in with him, no regrets.
Eight months have gone by since my mom passed away at age 90. I’ve given a lot of though to how I live my own life because of her love and influence.
Keep in mind everyone makes mistakes, we’re human. When we learn from our mistakes, we can move on and let our regrets go.
Read on to learn how you can live a life with no regrets.
Invest in yourself
Be your own loving caregiver. Rejecting and neglecting yourself are painful. You are worthy because you exist. Practice feeling affection and appreciation for yourself. Allow yourself to feel pleasure.
Share. Learn to self-reveal. Give others a peek into your inner world. Disclose your thoughts, experiences, feelings, and dreams. You have the power to light up a life or brighten a room with your presence.
Know yourself. Get comfortable in your own skin. Accept your weaknesses and shortcomings. Celebrate your strengths and successes. Have the confidence to be who you are.
Be good to yourself. Put yourself first. Become your own best friend. Make good choices. Several times throughout the day ask, “Does this choice honor me?”
Invest in others
Surround yourself with people who love and respect you. Choose to be with the people who bring out the best in you. Love the people who don’t support you from a distance. Wish them well and send them on their way.
Say, “I love you,” often. Express your affection and appreciation to friends and family. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and uncomfortable. Life is short. What matters is connection. Connect as often as possible.
Live simply. Keep your relationships uncomplicated. Create meaningful experiences. Make memories. Don’t gossip or compare yourself to others. You don’t know what anything is for. You can’t see the big picture.
Invest in spirituality.
Keep your heart open. Practice accepting people you don’t like. Look for the good in everyone. Be kind and smile. Every human being wants the same three things; to love, to be loved, and to know they matter.
Get spiritual. Go within. Use prayer, silence, meditation or yoga. Connect with God, Buddha, or what ever is right for you. Renew your spirit and strength.
Spend time in nature. Swim in the ocean. Plant a garden. Climb a mountain. Ride in a dune buggy. Walk barefoot in the grass. Watch the sunrise and sunset. Any thing you do outside is energizing and refreshing. Being in nature creates calm.
Learn to forgive. Resolve your childhood issues. Release grudges and guilt. Forgive yourself for hurting others. Forgive others for causing you pain. Forgive your parents. Louise Hay says, “Our parents did the best they could at the time, with what they had. When we know better we do better.”
Accept others as they are. Attempting to change someone is a waste of time and energy. You will find yourself doing tomorrow what you judge somebody for doing today. We are all imperfectly perfect. Stay in your own backyard. Mind your own business.
Invest in health and wellness.
Eat mindfully. Don’t multi-task. Keep your mind in the present moment. Be grateful for your food. Smell and really taste your food. Notice the texture. Pause between bites. Stop when you are full.
Exercise regularly. Begin today and make one small change in your wellness program. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It’s a win-win situation. You’ll feel good today and at the same time invest in a healthy and happy future.
Schedule play and fun. Discover the benefits of play. Laughter and joy enrich your well-being. Prominent psychologist, Erik Erikson stated, “The richest and fullest lives balance work, love, and play. All three must be pursued with equal dedication.”
Be creative. Take time to create things that have nothing to do with your work or business. Make a collage. Do a self-portrait. Take photographs. Try a new recipe. We were born to create. It’s good for your soul.
Enjoy your work.
Follow your dreams. You are capable of way more than you can imagine. Create a plan and take action. Learn to prioritize and focus. Leo Babauta, suggests, you focus on how much you love what you’re doing, instead of how much you can accomplish.
Take risks. Do one thing a day that scares you. Make a phone call and ask for what you want. Follow up. Keep asking until you get a yes. Be bold and brave. You have nothing to lose. There are approximately 7 billion people in the world. If someone tells you ‘no’ ask someone else.
Expand your comfort zone. Face your fears. Name your fears in your journal. Next to each fear, write down the worse case scenarios if the fear came true. Question how each fear is holding you back. Take and action step within the next 24 hours toward a personal goal.
Enjoy your life.
Do it now. Don’t procrastinate. Take a vacation. Go on a trip. See the world. Go places you haven’t been before. Do things you haven’t done before. Explore!
Participate in life. Watch very little television. Eliminate watching, reading or listening to the news. Someone will tell you what’s going on in the world. Instead of watching reality shows, take a dance or singing lesson
Be debt free. Live with less. Give up recreational shopping. Don’t buy into the next best thing. Put your time and energy into your family, neighborhood and community.
Learn how to handle setbacks. Life is made of ups, downs, and disappointments. When life becomes difficult, take it easy. Look for a lesson in each experience, learn from it, and move forward.
Let go of urgency and fear. When you live in the pain of the past or the fear of the future you feel anxious and stressed. Learn to relax and go with the flow. Shift your energy by changing your thoughts. Recognize the fear based stories you tell yourself and drop them.
Stop whining. Become aware of how often you complain or find fault with others. You cannot be happy when you feel like a victim, believe you’re entitled, want to be rescued or blame others. Learn to recognize and change these destructive thoughts and emotions.
Give more than you take. Anticipate someone’s needs and meet them. Go the extra mile. Make others feel important. Help someone as often as possible. Share your knowledge. Do something for someone who can’t pay you back.
Surrender your regrets. They have helped you grow into the person you are today. When you know better you do better. Choose to create and amazing and adventurous future for yourself, one wonderful day at a time.
Tess Marshall is a speaker, author, fear shattering, calculated risk taker, obsessed with being bold. Her blog, The Bold Lifeis a juicy mix of inspiration, spirituality, and personal development. Download for free her e-Book, “Peace, Love, and Connection.” Follow her on Twitter and Facebook.
This FREE chapter of my Ebook will show you
how to overcome anything.
- Turn challenges into opportunity.
- Cope with change without falling apart.
- Find new meaning for your life
- Find serenity, happiness and meaningful success.



{ 3 trackbacks }
{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Really nice post. I take note of those on the list.
Hi Christy,
Thank you! Yes and don’t forget to take one small action step today.
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
I’m keeping this to look over daily, as it has helped me focus on what matters most. I often get wrapped up in the anxieties of this life by regretting what was, being fearful of what could be; Meanwhile, I’m missing out on the wonderful people and things in my life right now that make up, what is.
Kory, this is something I struggle with as well, and I too felt this post to help me focus, and intend to look at it daily.
Kory,
How refreshing that you have become aware of this and are moving in a new direction. And for be boldly honest in your comment. Honor your imperfection and thanks for sharing. It gives everyone else the courage to be authentic.
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
Your mother’s story is so inspiring. A life lived with no regrets is certainly what I aspire to, but I’m constantly second guessing myself. Thank you so much for this wonderful list. Definitely worth saving and returning it when I’m wondering if I’m spending my time wisely. Thank you.
Sarah O´s last [type] ..Mullein: Multiple Uses For A Common Wild Plant
Hi Sarah,
My mom was amazing. I sure had a strong role model! Life is short you’re the wisest person you know. Trust yourself, listen to your gut. You’ll surprise yourself. You only need little willingness.
Tess this could span out into one awesome book woven with rich insight into living beyond and without regret. Lovely stuff.
I have always found my regrets are based on not saying what I felt or how much I cared holding back due to some silly fear. But as I age and learn about life I have tended to say it, show it, speak it, and be proud of it. What is ‘it’? The love in my heart and the feelings in my soul. Never regret offering them out because it’s better to one day be glad you did than sad you didn’t. Both can’t ever be taken back.
John Sherry´s last [type] ..Life And A 3 Month Down Time
John,
Your reply is so awesome maybe we should write the book together:) Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I appreciate you.
Tess…
What a jewel of a post. Your mother sounds like an extraordinary person. And how lucky she was to have a daughter who cherishes her as you do and who has clearly followed in her footsteps.
This post is a rich offering….it’s really a manifesto on living a meaningful, sustaining life.
Thanks. It’s a keeper. Fran
Fran,
Thanks so much for your lovely compliment. Her footsteps are pretty big. She was a much better cook and was so much more patient than me;) Thanks Fran.
Hi Tess,
I loved hearing about your mother – what a wonderful woman and role model for you – and all of us. Now I can see how she inspired you. I’m sure she was proud of you – how could she not be? Thanks so much for sharing her wisdom. Hearing about people like her inspires me every day.
Love,
Gail
Hi Gail,
Thanks for your kind words. Yes she sure did inspire me. She was a mover and shaker without knowing it! I agree with you stories of bloggers inspire me everyday as well. I appreciate you.
Such a great list! I recently left my corporate IT job to focus on creating a new path in life and I did it for all the reasons above. I’ve had so many personal, priceless wins because of my decision – more connected to my family and friends, I’m able to be in the moment, etc but am losing some focus on my personal wellness so it’s helpful to have reminders like these…I may just print out the list!
Jen,
I hope you do print out the list. That’s why it’s here! Cheers to your wellness. Don’t let it slip away!
Needed this today – thank you…
Jo@simplybeingmum´s last [type] ..No Waste Tastes Great 9 September 2011
Jo,
You’re welcome!
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
Tess,
I found you through the alist blogging club and am so glad to run into this post today. I’m printing this one out too! Such sweet, simple, important reminders. Thanks for brightening my morning!
Anne
Anne Samoilov´s last [type] ..Finding The Right Amount Of Space + Time To Take Care Of Myself
Hi Anne,
We are blessed to have the opportunity to be in the blogging club. What a gift we’ve given ourselves, to learn from the best! Thanks for stopping by and I appreciate your sweet words!
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
I love your blog! As I was going down your list, I was agreeing with each statement. At this point in my life, I’m trying to “simplify” in all areas of my life–easier said than done! I’m also always telling our grandkids to find their passion, so that they can truly do what they love and love what they do. Love your blog and I’ll be back!
Sandra McLeod Humphrey´s last [type] ..DARE TO DREAM BIG: From “Second-Class” Citizen to World-Class Athlete
Sandra,
What a fantastic message for your grandchildren! Oh yes that simplify thing. Begin small and keep moving forward. When I first began I would take out five things for every one thing I brought into my home. Then we moved we sold/gave stuff away we couldn’t fit in the moving truck. I also quit recreational shopping about a year and a half ago. It all helped. Baby steps!
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
How wonderful that you had such a role model for bold thinking – and the bravery to act on it – in your mother. And you’ve provided a great list of actions each of us can take to improve our lives and be able to look back without regret. Thanks!
Karen,
Yes I was blessed to have my mom as a role model. When I went back to college she would help with my kids. She also would tell me to stop by on the commute home and would have my dinner made and ready for me to take home. How cool was that?
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
Fabulous post! You really hit on all the points of a good life.
I’m sure you know of the book by John Izzo, “The Five Secrets You Must Discover Before You Die.” His second one is, ‘leave no regrets.’
Harriet Cabelly´s last [type] ..Services
Harriet,
I do know of John Izzo but have never read his books. I think I’ll check them out and do a blog post about him. Thanks for the inspiration!
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..101 Ways to Live Bold and Change
Regrets just hold us back and keep us down. You have wonderful suggestions here Tess for moving forward. Your mom sounds like a wonderful woman of courage. She was able to live a long life which is such a gift.
Cathy | Treatment Talk´s last [type] ..Alternative Support for Recovery at Next Steps for Women
Cathy,
Yes my mom’s long life was a gift for her, her 10 children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. It was all amazing. Her life was very rich due to having so many people who loved her. Thanks.
Great article Tess
The challenge is being authentic, true to ourselves – we have a vision of how our lives should be, and how we should be . . . but we all too easily get caught-up, dragged-down, worn-out, lost, confused or drained by life, other people, and most of all ourselves.
A friend told me, along with all her other friends, yesterday she’d been having treatment for bowel cancer for a while, and was going to have surgery today. The reason she’d not told anyone was that she didn’t want all the pitty and sympathy and awkwardness to get in the way of having fun with everyone and enjoying life . . . she’s in her 30′s and has known for a few months. I feel so impressed and humbled.
Like you, I’ve found the lives of our family and friends can be the biggest inspiration and example to us all – in turn, I feel, we should all try to live our lives to be a positive example to those around us.
Carpe Diem
Next Starfish´s last [type] ..Save the World by Playing Games
This is so true…and for me as well of course;)
“but we all too easily get caught-up, dragged-down, worn-out, lost, confused or drained by life, other people, and most of all ourselves.”
I’m not sure what I think of your friend. Brave for one. But there is something missing when we aren’t comfortable allowing others into our sorrows and sadness as well. As long as we don’t stay in it! Sometimes our fear of intimacy and not allowing others to nurture us gets in our way.
That said I don’t know your friend. I do wish her well and will send her love today. Thanks for sharing your story…it got me thinking. I’m grateful.
Wonderful article as usual, Tess. I laughed out when you said we should keep on calling someone until we get a ‘yes’.
Feel like want to try it out for a salary increase, ha. I really enjoy and love the great list. Keep it coming!
Noel,
I just believe we give up way to easy most of the time. Persistence is key!
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..Possibility of Today: Sibyl Chavis Interview #2
If I could find a way to get this etched onto the inside of my glasses, or dangle it from a stick in front of my face, I’d probably do it.
I read things like this all the time (not to diminish or discount anything in your list, Tess) and it all makes sense when I read it, but then it just floats away and gets lost in the rest of the noise life makes.
Hopefully this one will stick this time.
Tess, you’re really flying. Thanks for this great post. For a long time I did regret that I never saw the true good in my father while he was alive. But even that I don’t regret now, because in some strange way the fact that I see him with a genuine light of love in my eye now sets everything to rights. Blessings to you.
Christopher Foster´s last [type] ..What does hair have to do with anything?
Christopher,
I did see the light in my father long before he passed. However it didn’t mean he saw it in me. Something I let go of years before. I agree it only matters what you see today. xo
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..Possibility of Today: Sibyl Chavis Interview #2
Very Informative post. Love it.
Sanam´s last [type] ..3 Key Decisions You Need To Take Today To Make Effective “Personal Development Plan”
I love the post. It’s very detailed and motivational.
Touching on the title a bit, though: I find that living a life with no regrets is the only way to live. So many people hang on to bad things that have happened or failures in their lives to use them as excuses for not doing more or being better.
It’s sad, really. Especially because it seems to be the “default mode” for people. It’s a hard rut to break out of once it sets in.
I just love that your post touches on that and then so much more. I’ll be sure to check out your blog, Tess.
Rob @notactuallyahero´s last [type] ..3 Motivational Elements That Will Maximize Your Personal Performance
the topic is very good and very much motivational.