How I learned to give without any expectations

A guest post from Christopher Foster of The Happy Seeker.

It’s one of the most important lessons life has to teach. To give a gift and then let it go without any expectations.

I’m an author, and some years ago I wrote a book called The Raven Who Spoke with God. It’s a story about a brave young Raven who is true to his integrity and follows his dream against heavy odds.

I was very proud of this book. One day, when I finally got it published, I went down to the local post office to send out some promotional copies. I couldn’t wait to see the joy and delight on the faces of the people who would receive my fine and touching story.

There weren’t many people in the post office. I did my business, came home, and shortly after the phone rang. It was my son, Durwin, in Vancouver. He was calling to ask if we were watching the TV.

Everything changed in a moment

Next thing I knew the TV was on and my wife, JoAnn and I were witnessing the terrible happenings transpiring at Ground Zero.

Truth is, I think I did have expectations for my book and how I would like it to be received. But in a moment — everything had changed. As far as my book was concerned, there was no choice but to let it go and trust life, as we say.

Giving our gift with no strings attached

JoAnn is a quiltmaker and has had plenty of experience creating a gift and letting it go. “When I give a quilt away,” she says, “I know that some people may love it, some may hate it, and some may not have any opinion about it at all. But the important thing I’ve learned is that once I give a quilt to someone, I let it go.

“I give my gift with no strings attached and simply accept whatever comes back — or doesn’t come back. I don’t get a big head but I don’t go to another extreme and get crushed either.”

Now I have another gift to give – a course on “the true promise of aging”

Now ( May 23)  I’m offering another gift. Actually, it’s not a book this time, it’s a course — the first course I’ve ever created. It’s entitled How to Look (and Feel) 10 years Younger: The True Promise and Potential of Aging.”

I’m thrilled with this course because I’m passionate about sharing my own experience that aging is not to be feared, but is potentially a door to new meaning and happiness at any age.

I turned 79 a few days ago. What I experience and see is that while our body ages, our unconquerable spirit does not age.

JoAnn and I were so thrilled the other day when we saw a picture in our local paper of a 103-year-old gentleman riding his bicycle on a coastal path in California. He was beaming with joy at a passerby and it was very clear that while his body had aged, his spirit and his character had not changed at all.

The gift of our own true character

Perhaps we all have the same gift to give, ultimately, and it is the gift of our own true character. Surely this is why we’re in this world, to reveal the beauty of our own authentic Self. We are a masterpiece – perhaps covered with a little dust here and there but priceless all the same.

No one else has the same mission as you. No one else thinks quite the same way you think. No one else feels life’s incredible textures of glory and beauty and terror and pain the same way you do.

What is your gift? What is your mission? Whatever it is, here are few ‘guidelines’ that may help you give your gift and fulfill your dream.

1. Listen to your own inner wisdom

There are so many opinions flying around in this world, and so many experts loudly proclaiming which way we should go and how we should live our lives. I have nothing against any of them. But I have learned over the years — one of the blessings of aging — that I can and must trust the wisdom of my own heart.

It’s a lesson that was ingrained on me indelibly when I was a young fellow feeling an urge to leave home and go to British Columbia. So many reasons not to do it – people I loved questioning my sanity. But it’s an iron law. Trust your own heart. Trust the innate wisdom of your own being. My heart really did know how my life should unfold and my life was blessed because I listened to what it was saying to me.

2. Be humble

Humility is so easily overlooked in our fast paced world. Unfortunately, it can tend to carry an impression of groveling, of weakness. But true humility is actually a sign of true strength.

It’s not that we go around bowing to other people. No. We bow to the next phase of our evolution, we bow to the greatness that is back of all life, we bow to the divine character longing to be given greater expression through us. Humility is an essential aspect of true character and it can change your life in a heartbeat.

3. One step at a time

I have to thank JoAnn again for this one. She has been drilling it into my head ever since we first met 14 or 15 years ago. The funny thing is, this approach never fails. It doesn’t matter how busy your life may get, if you want to keep yourself free of tangles, slow down a bit and remind yourself as often as is necessary, “One step at a time, one step at a time…”

I express deep thanks to Mary Jaksch, co-founder with Leo Babauta of The A-List Blogger Club. Mary has been my friend and mentor all the way through the past 4-5 months as I have worked on creating my new course.

For more from Christopher please visit The Happy Seeker. To find out more about his “happy aging” course please click “The True Promise of Aging.”