By Mary Jaksch
Do you find it difficult to balance work and life? I do. Mainly because I don’t have a clear idea of where life ends and work starts. I love writing, and I love teaching people – is that work or life?
On the other hand, I’ve recently made sure I schedule time away from my desk. Time that I spend chilling out with my partner, or running in the hills, or curling up on the floor with a book.
Most people don’t have the luxury of having flexible work times. They are forced to trudge to the office, day after day. And when they return home in the evening, a large part of their energy and zest for life has already been sucked out of them. Is life like that for you?
Here’s an interesting quote by Nigel Marsh:
There are thousands and thousands of people out there living lives of quiet, screaming desperation who work long, hard hours, at jobs they hate, to enable them to buy things they don’t need to impress people they don’t like.
That’s interesting, isn’t it?
I found the quote in a video of a talk that Nigel Marsh gave at a TED conference in Sydney. Take a look at it below. (If you can’t see it, click here to watch it)
How about you? What’s your experience with work-life balance?
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“Most people don’t have the luxury of having flexible work times. They are forced to trudge to the office, day after day. And when they return home in the evening, a large part of their energy and zest for life has already been sucked out of them.”
) but the quote up there, that’s me!!! and so many others.
I don’t have the time to watch the video now (I’m at the office
So many years ago, I left an office job, a good one, because I wanted to be an artist. I finally didn’t become an artist, but I had 3 children and spent 5 years in 2 foreign countries. After that I wanted to have a job, and it was very hard to get a new good one again. It took years and a lot of energy. Now I long for freedom again… But I’m not ready to quit a job that gives me a lot af satisfaction along with many inconvenients also…Hum… Can’t wait to see the video tonight
Cheers
-Mathilde
I’m with you. I can choose my work and what to do with my time – mostly. The challenge and the purveyor of most benefit is to tear away from the work to take the break. I’m reading “The Way We’re Working Isn’t Working” by Tony Schwartz and I agree with his idea that the break makes the work better, more enjoyable, and sustainable.
Mike
mike kirkeberg´s last [type] ..Clean Slate and the Choice Point
When I took early retirement I sent out a farewell email giving half-jokey reasons, including:
You know it’s time to go when you find that life is interfering with your work/work balance.
I can absolutely relate with the difficulty in discerning the boundaries between work and life. I work as a designer and creative director and making things, in general, brings me great joy. Sometimes it’s easier to create the line by considering who the project is for – a client (work), or simply for myself (life).
One thing that has made all the difference though, in terms of me feeling more sane and content, despite being busy, is the move I made a couple of years ago, to work for myself. I used to get so discouraged when commuting to work and seeing all the unhappy faces of my fellow commuters. I always used to think “I don’t want to end up like that”. Then I realised that I was in that very same position! So it was essential that I do something about it, and I did. The flexibility and control over my own time has been the best gift that I could ever give myself. It’s done wonders for my work, and my health too as now I have the energy and time to exercise more and eat better.
Thanks for the post and for suggesting the video.
I have the luxury of working at home. And yet I STILL have a difficult time achieving work/life balance. Perhaps it’s even more difficult now than when I worked in an office. When I worked outside of the home, I had to physically LEAVE the office every day. (Yes… I still checked email, etc.) Working at home means I’m ALWAYS in the office–and when an idea pops into my head while I’m engaged in a “life activity” (like cooking dinner or watching a movie), it’s difficult to stay with the activity. I want run over to my computer!
I think it’s something that we’ll be studying/working on for a long time.
Thanks for sharing this, Mary!
Unfortunately there are also many many people working like that just for the very basics of life.
Thank you for sharing this video Mary. People seem to think they do not have choices as we as a culture have given more of our life over to corporations. The more people who resist getting sucked into overwork the sooner the idea of balance may become more mainstream.
As a coach I always resisted the idea of life balance as it was taught in my training. I liked what Nigel said about elongating the expectation of balance. That is what I have found. Our daily lives will rarely look balanced. Often not even a week or sometimes not even a month. But if we can maintain a balance over a month or so generally we will be healthier and happier.
Sometimes trying to create balance in a short framework will simply cause more stress.
Carolyn Ringo´s last [type] ..Your best friend is everything – or – How to tap into Source
Hi Mary,
I have trouble with videos so I will pass on this one for now. But I am so happy you are raising this question. I do have a flexible schedule and work at home. I’m so lucky in that regard. Right now I have a lot on my plate in relation to my current capacity. I have moments of feeling overwhelmed or like I’m on a production factory. Recently, I realized how much it has to do with my view about it. What gets me into trouble is feeling like it should be different, having resistance. When I’m able to just let go and be in the moment of the work, I am fine. Take frequent, nourishing breaks also helps me so much.
I’ve always loved this story about Gandhi:
A Western journalist asked, “Mr. Gandhi, you have been working fifteen hours a day for fifty years. Don’t you think you should take a vacation?” Gandhi smiled and replied, “I am always on vacation.” – Mahatma Gandhi
Of course, most of us do not have the view or capacity of Gandhi, but it’s something to aspire toward. Thanks for raising this crucial topic.
What Nigel proposes absolutely works, with one caveat: we all have higher level needs and values which are unique to us. Getting the most of the small moments still requires that those special needs are served, even in small ways.
Charley Hampton´s last [type] ..Two Rights Don’t Necessarily Make A Right…
I posted Nigel’s video on my blog and asked him to respond. We’ve been in touch as I love his book, “Fat, Forty and Fired.” Just the title itself is fabulous. Anyway, after asking receiving comments, one question I asked Nigel was, “What advice would you give to someone entering the corporate world today?” His response was, ” My advice to young people entering the corporate world is to not feel there is anything wrong with that path. Give it their best and make as much as they can but never , never , never forget their values what is truly important in life. A lot of people write to me who have had a very successful career but who are now living an old age full of regret.” Nigel is a wonderful man, and I was honored that he took the time to write back to me and made me feel special as an aspiring author. If you’re interested, I have summarized the main points here: http://gutsywriter.blogspot.com/2010/12/how-can-you-achieve-ideal-work-life.html. Nigel and I aren’t related despite having the same last name.
I think we are happier when work and life are one in the same. When we work on things we dislike or we’re working for the wrong reasons, there is no joy in that. For me, it’s all about loving my work so much that it’s just as much a desirable part of my life as play-time.
Nea | Self Improvement Saga´s last [type] ..Inspirational Thoughts- Appreciate the Dark Days
Mary
Loved it. Thank God I new enough to have fun and be crazy with my kids when they were young. It was probably because I was so young. I love what Sandra writes about not “wanting things to be different.” It’s that desire that creates suffering for me. However I think this guy is just what the world needs. And it’s important to remember we have control no company or biz will get us what we want. Thanks Mary
Tess The Bold Life´s last [type] ..A Burst of Strategies to Increase and Savor Love
I agree with Jason. No, I don’t work full time from home but sometimes it feels like I do. It’s so difficult to nurture my creative side while giving my family the time and attention they deserve.
Marnie´s last [type] ..13 Bloggers Who Are Pushing Their Luck
Last July Simon Sinek of StartWithWhy.com commented:
“Work-life balance is a myth.
Balance is achieved between 2 opposing forces.
Work & life should be in unison, not opposition. Result=joy.”
I’ve removed the word should from my daily parlance, but his comment fully crystallizes what many are starting to remember. Nigel Marsh’s TED talk = decide your own destiny = bang on! He is also spot on with his deductions about career choices – some are better for having kids than others. You’ve got to be SOO honest with yourself about what you want out of life. Make it happen !!
I thoroughly enjoyed that video and his message. Thanks for it.
Hi Mary. I relate to this: “I love writing, and I love teaching people – is that work or life?”
For the first time in my life, I’m working with my passion; writing and I LOVE it! I’ve also fallen in love, hard, with the blogging community, something I didn’t realize existed until now. For me writing is such fun that the lines between work and play are severely blurred. It’s something I have to work on. The video was great! Thanks!
In my case, it was buying things for friends I like. (Such as trips to go visit non-local family and friends, or a cell phone for them to call me.) Recently, though, I discovered that even working a limited amount of hours at a job I don’t like doesn’t work for me. The stress was not worth it. Now I have plenty of time, though I’m using most of it for trying to eke out a living in other ways.
I think work/life balance happens when we feel that we can live even while working. The amount of time spent on that work doesn’t matter so much. (Unless we spend all our time working, but if our jobs are suited to us, we should be better able to fix that problem.)
I think most of us stay in the rat race or a job we dislike mostly just to cater the basic needs of life. Work life balance? I don’t have it now. I work 10 hours in the day and a few hours at night. It’s certainly tiring but I think it’s worth it because today’s sacrifice and hard work is for tomorrow’s better living.
I find it odd when people call work non-life; it’s where we spend about two thirds of our time, so in my opinion it’s an important part of our life. If we think work sucks, it’s time to at least try to move on to another job which would bring us more happiness. There will always be vexations at work, but if we focus on the good aspects I’m sure it won’t be as terrible to go there. And if it still sucks, then we will have to counter-balance with a nice hobby and healthy, joyful relationships. I just can’t handle constant complaining very well, but find it rather consuming for me to listen to people who constantly bring up the negative. Since many of these habits are not personality but behaviour, I think everyone owes it to themselves to work on becoming healthier and happier, also for the sake of their surroundings. A positive attitude will spread to others too. (P.S. There are people who would love to trade with you so they would have an income. We often seem to forget humility about such things.)
I personally find work/life balance challenging. My work is primarily in the “helping others” space and the majority of my inspiration comes from my own life. Every time I have a new experience or some sort of challenge, I consider how I can use it to help my clients.
Although, this has helped me to develop highly impactful solutions for others, I have learned that I MUST turn it off and simply be ME from time to time. It’s a muscle that I consciously and continuously strengthen.
Susan Liddy´s last [type] ..Social Media as a Virtual Marketing Team
Work is tyranny
A lot of corporations like to pretend they care about work life balance but when it comes down to it the economy is measured in productivity/GDP. Money holds most of us slaves for the better part of our lives. Unless we occupy our time with something that provides us with a true sense of purpose AND money, it is likely we are unhappy with work life balance.
I like that we are seeing more companies at least ACKNOWLEDGE people have a life outside of work… but in general if the scale tips too much toward LIFE then they start the paper trail they need to boot you out the door. Somebody has to hit the numbers so the stakeholders are happy.
I’m still convinced your SIN number is actually Slave Identification Number rather than Social Insurance Number (Slave Service Number for you Americans).
Mitch Straus´s last [type] ..Why Implement a Workplace Wellness Program
Work is tyranny
A lot of corporations like to pretend they care about work life balance but when it comes down to it the economy is measured in productivity/GDP. Money holds most of us slaves for the better part of our lives. Unless we occupy our time with something that provides us with a true sense of purpose AND money, it is likely we are unhappy with work life balance.
I like that we are seeing more companies at least ACKNOWLEDGE people have a life outside of work… but in general if the scale tips too much toward LIFE then they start the paper trail they need to boot you out the door. Somebody has to hit the numbers so the stakeholders are happy.
I’m still convinced your SIN number is actually Slave Identification Number rather than Social Insurance Number (Slave Service Number for you Americans).
Holistic Wellness – Substance Abuse and Concurrent Disorders