By Mary Jaksch
I’m inspired by stories of how people overcome challenges. One of the great stories is that of pianist David Helfgott. I saw him in concert today and it was an amazing experience.
David trotted on stage in a red silk Cossack shirt, flashed a huge grin and gave the audience a thumbs-up. As soon as he sat down to play, all eccentricity was forgotten. You could sense that playing music makes him feel whole. David Helfgott says:
It is paradise to perform in front of an audience — a great emotional and spiritual experience. I feel at one with the audience and I have an image in my thoughts which inspires me. I think of the beauty of the music and imagination it generates.
If you saw the movie Shine, you’ll know the story of David Helfgott. After emerging as a child prodigy and starting a dazzling career, David’s mental health started to deteriorate. He ended up in a mental hospital in Perth, Australia. Over the next ten years, he underwent psychiatric treatment which included psychotropic medication and electro-convulsive therapy.
When he was released back into the community, David earned a meager wage by playing piano on Saturday evenings at Riccardo’s wine bar in Perth. The owner, Dr. Chris Reynolds, alerted the public to David’s extraordinary playing. It was there at the wine bar that he meet his future wife, Gillian, who, with the support of promoter Mike Parry, helped David to gradually resume his concert career. You can see a video of him here.
When I saw how playing the piano made David Helfgott whole, I began to think about how certain activities make us feel complete.
What makes you whole?
What is it in your life that makes you feel wholly alive? What makes you feel whole?
Peter Levitt talks of becoming whole as ‘being cut into one’:
Already at birth I was parted,
not just from my mother -
but body from mind,
mind from its source -
that’s why I take up
this soft blade of breathe
to cut me back into one
It’s not only the breath that can cut us back into one. Activity that’s in line our purpose in life also cut us back into one.
I was reflecting on what cuts me back into one. For me it’s mentoring others. I love helping others to shine. I love holding up a mirror to others so that they can see their beauty, talent, and wholeness reflected back.
What about you? What makes you feel whole?
{ 59 comments }
Knitting makes me feel whole, and its a kind of meditation also.
Thanks for a fantastic blog, I enjoy very much.
I loved this article Mary. This one especially resonates with me beause I’ve walked that same foggy path and finding something to give me a sense of worth helps a great deal to keep me from sliding back onto that fog. Writing is my #1 Worth Bringer. Over the years I’ve had one book formally published sevreal dozen articles accepted by magazines and many hundreds of pieces published on-line. Feedback from my readers is almost always positive.
I read voraciously and am currently reading your Overcome Anything. I know that depending on others for a sense of self worth is not healthy and want to build a stand-alone self image.
.-= Allan Douglas´s last blog ..Simple Living and Minimalism =-.
Congratulations on finding that writing is you “#1 worth bringer” I nipped over to your blog and it looks really interesting, Allan!
Thank you Mary. Feel free to comment, your feedback is always appreciated.
.-= Allan Douglas´s last blog ..Simple Living and Minimalism =-.
Thank you Mary for sharing the inspiration Mary.
What makes me whole: Sharing my heart and touching the heart of others.
Blessings to you,
Alex
“…touching the heart of others” – that’s beautiful, Alex
Running…
And it wasn’t until I was 40 years old that I discovered this.
But the peace, sense of accomplishment, and health that results from my running helps me make sense of the rest of my world…
.-= Todd Schnick´s last blog ..10 What-To-Dos When Your Internet Goes Down =-.
Running? Yes, there is magic in running. I’ve only just started running and I notice who solutions to problems just seem to appear after a run.
Mary You are a fabulous Mentor indeed. With your mentoring I can show the way of light for others to become one again, here and now.
I am grateful to your contribution of who I am today.
Oh! Thanks so much for your kind words, Ioan. I’m glad I was able to help you – even just a little.
Hi Mary. I love this concept of being whole. What makes me whole ? Am still discovering.
I am beginning to realize that it has to do with healing, with nurturing and nourishing the soul,with compassion and teaching, with touching the hearts of others with beauty. Still figuring out how to translate this into work. A fantastic article and one that shows me, what goes into being whole. Thank u
.-= Uzma´s last blog ..The colours of seasons & the hues of life =-.
Yes, healing and wholeness are interconnected. I think the question, “What makes me whole?” is one that we need to ask over and over throughout life. It’s a journey of discovery. A good marker for wholeness is joy.
Hi Mary,
First I have to comment on this…
“I feel at one with the audience and I have an image in my thoughts which inspires me. I think of the beauty of the music and imagination it generates.”
I wonder what would happen if I applied this to writing, feeling one with my readers, having an image in mind and thinking of the beauty of my words and the imagination which inspires me.
What makes me feel whole? Family, writing, speaking and running make me feel whole!
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Life Changing- The Rule of 5 =-.
Ah Tess – that’s lovely.
I hadn’t thought about applying David Helfgott’s words to writing. That’s a rich vein to mine.
Hi Mary,
You have a great picture there to describe what I would call the essence of life: do the things we can do best an fulfill.
For me it’s similar, I love to enable others, see them grow and succeed along their way.
.-= Françoise Hontoy´s last blog ..Get Ready for Action =-.
I see that we have a similar vision, Françoise
Drawing and Painting make me whole. But it isn’t just the process of drawing or painting that makes me whole–it is the relationship between the drawing/painting and myself–a relationship based on trust–trust that the painting or drawing will tell me what I need to know. So I guess trust is what makes me whole ultimately.
This is very interesting, Penelope: “…it is the relationship between the drawing/painting and myself”
Hi Mary,
I’m inspired by the words of Peter Levitt.
Perhaps, our journey in life is about finding what makes us whole. At peace, settled.
Maybe we shouldn’t worry if we haven’t discovered it yet, but continue to look. And fortunate are those who have stumbled upon that central activity that gives purpose to their life.
My interests, career, and life history show me that helping others reach their full potential is a recurring theme in my life- whether it be training others to do their jobs more effectively or encouraging young people to be the best they can be.
.-= Scott McIntyre´s last blog ..7 Slow and Steady Steps to Turn Your Passion Into Your Job =-.
You say: “Maybe we shouldn’t worry if we haven’t discovered it yet, but continue to look.”
Sometimes we already know what it is, but the knowledge isn’t conscious yet. For example, your answer is right there further down:
“My interests, career, and life history show me that helping others reach their full potential is a recurring theme”
There you have it, Scott!
Beautiful thought and story. Now, I’ll have to rent the movie Shine–it sounds terrific.
.-= Mary E. Ulrich´s last blog ..Busy vs Bored- Life Space Analysis for People with Disabilities =-.
Yes, Shine is an inspiring film!
A wonderful job. Super helpful inrfomaiton.
“I love helping others to shine. I love holding up a mirror to others so that they can see their beauty, talent, and wholeness reflected back.”
What beautiful words Mary. My own wholeness includes an element of helping others. I find myself caring more and more about my writing, about the beauty of the words. I find myself drawn to nature in her beauty and wildness, but, more than that, I want to share that beauty, the beauty of feeling alive and connected. And I want the wind in my hair, the cool of snow on my face, the burning warmth of the sun, and the fatigue which comes from working hard. Those make me feel alive and whole so I can share that beauty and bounty through my writing.
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Are we secretly scared of nature =-.
Ah – thanks for your beautiful words, Alison.
Thank you Mary. Mr. Helfgott is superb at the piano!
What makes me whole? Love … fun … music … nature … food.
“What makes me whole? Love … fun … music … nature … food.”
That’s lovely Christopher. Lovely to see how many things make you whole
Hi Mary,
I love this article and the Peter Levitt poem. Your words “I love helping others to shine. I love holding up a mirror to others so that they can see their beauty, talent, and wholeness reflected back” are a beautiful expression of what makes me feel whole.
Some of the highlights of my life come from my time as a social worker and involve people who many would view as having little worth. Serving as a faithful mirror to them really made my soul sing.
You say, “Serving as a faithful mirror to them really made my soul sing.”
I love the word ‘faithful’ in there, Eileen. It’s a word with deep resonance.
Hi Mary,
I love inspiring stories too and this is a wonderful one. Thank you for sharing this story with us and telling us what makes you feel whole too.
What makes me feel whole: meditation, being in nature, writing, helping others!
Thanks for encouraging us to remember!
.-= Sandra Lee´s last blog ..Blogging Insight – Make new friends- endlessly! =-.
Thanks, Lee! I love your list: “meditation, being in nature, writing, helping others.”
As I read this wonderful story I immediately knew that writing makes me whole. Then I realized it’s bigger than just my own writing — it’s helping others discover the wonder of writing, specifically life writing. When I hear others tell of the relief, joy and wonder they find in writing lifestories and sharing them with others, I glow with happy wholeness. Writing bonds people in loving compassion. Writing is healing the world, one story at a time.
Thank you Mary for your contributions to this end. Your blog touches lives around the world and earlier comments are testimony to its healing value.
.-= Sharon Lippincott´s last blog ..Stick Stories =-.
I love where you say: “When I hear others tell of the relief, joy and wonder they find in writing lifestories and sharing them with others, I glow with happy wholeness.”
I’m not sure how I would have answered the question a few months ago. I had known a few experiences where I felt whole, as opposed to the more-frequent feeling of being in a hole. Now I know that when I’m in front of my classes, helping them learn to write more clearly, read more deeply, and hopefully as a result think and live more fully, I feel fully alive. The subject isn’t even what’s important. It could be math or music, but it just happens to be English. What’s important, and I’m really just starting to realize this, is how brain cells are engaging and learning new ways for more brain cells to engage. To me that somehow means being alive, and being part of that in someone else’s life is what makes me feel whole.
You’ve touched on something important, Terry: “I’m not sure how I would have answered the question a few months ago.” It seems that the answer to the question changes as we go through life. Is that your experience also?
Sorry for the slow answer, but the answer definitely changes on a regular basis!
.-= Terry Heath´s last blog ..Utopian Literature and the Three Cushion Shot =-.
Hi Mary,
This is such a beautiful article! I love the moving story that you have shared with us about David Helfgott. I think that one of the most amazing things in life is to be able to watch people overcome the challenges they face with strength and determination. Their struggles are an inspiration to others. Viktor Frankl once said, “What is to give light must first endure burning.” This is the reason why your story of David has made my day.
Being able to make a difference in the lives of people by comforting and supporting them makes me whole. I enjoy being there for people when they are in pain to help them to deal with the challenges they face.
Thanks for sharing this article!
.-= The Vizier´s last blog ..How to Live Without Regrets =-.
Thanks so much for the wonderful quote by Victor Frankl. I’m just revising and rewriting my book “Overcome Anything” and that quote will go in pride of place!
That sounds like an awesome book Mary! Glad the quote came in useful.
.-= The Vizier´s last blog ..How to Live Without Regrets =-.
Hi Mary,
Many years ago, I had a dear friend named Fred, a crusty old guy who was fascinated about topis like this. He told me once that “That which makes two of one is false, and that which makes one of two is true.” It’s amazing how that has seemed to hold up for me ever since.
There are several things that make me whole, I think, including doing work with a client and afterward knowing that I helped them find some good direction or gave them the confimation they needed to “shine” as you mention in your list of things that make YOU whole.
But when it comes right down to it, I think the MAIN thing that does it for me is cuddling with my dogs. They are so precious, so innocent, so beatiful! They make my heart sing with joy, every single time. It doesn’t matter if I’m in the depths of despair, that never fails to bring a smile.
Sometimes I think I ought to be working with animals more, but I sure love writing.
Thanks much. Great post!
.-= Patti Foy´s last blog ..Fliers- Don’t Get Zapped By Surprise =-.
I love the image of you cuddling with your dogs, Patti! I bet that makes them happy too..
Beautiful post, Mary. What makes me feel whole? Two things stand out: creating (writing, drawing, singing, or whatever else I’m moved to do) and dogs, especially my own.
I have been “dogless” for only about a year and half in my life. During that time, when my then husband and I were out, if I saw people with a dog, I’d rush up and crouch down and fuss over the dog. My husband would be left to talk to the people and explain my obsession. It would eventually occur to me to raise my head and say hi.
I feel a connection to dogs that both grounds me and lifts me up.
.-= Ande Waggener´s last blog ..The Value To Income Equation- How To Allow More Money Into Your Life =-.
Ah, you’re a dog lover too, like Patti in the comment above. “I feel a connection to dogs that both grounds me and lifts me up.” We could all think about this in the context of finding what makes us whole. Like this:
“I feel a connection to … that both grounds me and lifts me up.
Running … is what makes me whole and keeps me sane.
I started in my late 20′s after giving birth to 3 sons in 4.5 years … and it was my exercise, my therapy, my quiet time, my thinking time, etc.
I ran for 10 years and then was severely injured in an accident and couldn’t run for 4 years. Docs said I probably would never run again … but thankfully I was able to return to it 2 years ago and again it’s my exercise, my therapy, my quiet time, my thinking time, etc.
I’ve just sent you an email, Janet. I plan to write an ebook about how exercise can help us. I’d love to have your story in there too. It’s inspiring to read how you were able to come back after a terrible accident! Thanks for sharing your story.
Being with friends makes me whole… but I hardly have any friends so…
Well, I like these articles… It seem to feel better when I read them.
Ah, reading good books also makes me whole…. almost, quite near…
I’m so glad the posts on Goodlife ZEN contribute to your well-being, Tasorius
Inspiring story, Mary. And really enjoying all the comments. What makes me feel whole?
- a long warm hug from my best friend and husband that says “I love you just as you are.”
- a luscious walk with a girlfriend as we talk story and share the most precious give we have to give to each other, time.
- sitting in nature and through all of my senses experiencing the wholeness of life.
- creativity of any kind where I get to share my soul from inside out – writing, playing music, free form dance.
- receiving the gifts of talented artists and musicians…. I can’t help but feel uplifted, inspired, connected to others who are gifted at seeing and expressing what is inside so much of humanity.
- breathing, as we are all connected by this breath………………and this breath…………..and this breath………………
.-= Toi Lynn Wyle´s last blog ..Breathing Lessons- Part 1 =-.
That’s lovely, Toi! It’s wonderful that you have so many things in your life that lead you to wholeness.
Mary, Shine is one of my favorite movies – I’ve never seen David Helfgott perform live, but I can imagine how amazing it must be to be in the audience taking in that magic.
What makes me feel wholly alive is dancing, sharing with others, truly being of help to another, meditation, & being by the ocean
Such a powerful question to ask!
Aileen, having enjoyed meeting you ‘in the real’ , only a short while ago, I can imagine you “dancing, sharing with others, truly being of help to another, meditation, & being by the ocean”
Hi Mary,
This is a first for me – commenting twice on a single blog post. You wrote above that “a good marker for wholeness is joy”. I’ll use that description as a way of recognizing wholeness. Joseph Campbell was interested in the experience of wholeness. His advice to Sarah Lawrence students on finding happiness was: “Follow your bliss”. Works for me…..
By asking such a great question, you’ve triggered much thinking and sharing. Thank you for that.
Responding twice?? That looks like forming a habit
I love seeing your thoughtful comments, Eileen. I didn’t know that ‘follow your bliss’ was said by Joseph Campbell. Thanks for that – it’s very interesting!
Mary, your post is so fine, and evokes so much in me. “What makes you whole?” A long time ago according to the record a prophet asked a similar question, “Wilt thou be made whole?” They are both wonderful, enduring questions.
I could say that going for a walk “cuts me back into one.” Going to the gym, too, or going out for an afternoon coffee. Feeling in a new way my deep love and appreciation for my wife definitely does it. But at the end of the day, for me, the one thing that always works is simply reminding myself: “All I have to do is be still.” It makes life very, very simple.
I was a bit slow catching up with this wonderful post Mary but — as I say to myself sometimes, ‘better late than never.’
.-= Christopher Foster´s last blog ..How to say “yes” to the peace of your own being =-.
What makes me whole? When I am fully engaged in the fulfillment of my purpose I loose all sense of time and place, it’s as if the world stops rotating on its axis and I am suddenly weightless. My constant companion … that endless chatter and mind numbing hum in my head finally goes to sleep, and in that moment my creative self wakes up, I slip into the gap where it’s quiet, and while in this flow-state … I am whole. Ahhh … thank you, Mary, for the reminder!
Hi Mary! I did see Shine but I didn’t know that he was still doing concerts. Thanks for bringing his beautiful life and struggles to our attention.
What makes me whole is to serve. I love serving others, be it help my family and friends or to provide a wider service to the world through my blog and my foundation. It gives me immense joy and purpose to serve others. Loving blessings, sweetie!
.-= Andrea DeBell – britetalk´s last blog ..How to Skyrocket your Happiness Barometer with Tiny Actions =-.
Wholeness has come to me in many ways throughout my life…but one thing that has stood out in my mind has been the following….
It is my experience that in keeping a journal that you will be embarking on a journey of discovering your personal uniqueness. There is something mystical about putting words directly onto a blank sheet of paper. There is clarification. There is enlightenment and there is a fine-tuning that occurs by simply putting pen to paper in your journal, and through the habit of keeping a journal has come a better understanding of myself, others and for what purpose I have been created. And the result? Wholeness.
.-= Peter G. James Sinclair´s last blog ..Why The Long Name =-.
I like when you said : “I love holding up a mirror to others so that they can see their beauty, talent, and wholeness reflected back.” , Mary. It’s very heart-warming. Well what makes me feel whole, mm.. music, quotes, playing with dogs…
In reading through the comments I re-read David Helfgott’s name and realized that Helfgott can be translated out of the German as Help-God (Helf = Help and Gott=God). this struck me as I have always associated the feelings you described with God. Doing what you are meant to do win life brings such a joy.
My passion is varied and unfocused most days, but it lies often in the web. I quite enjoy sitting down and playing with the design of my site. It isn’t about getting the perfect design, but seeing what I can do. I recently helped my girlfriend on her site and got the same feelings when she was happy with it.
.-= Andrew´s last blog ..Elephants Need Trees =-.
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