How to Find Success – without Losing Your Integrity: A 9-Step Guide

Everyone wants to be successful. But success can come at a cost. We all know people who’ve turned into jerks through becoming successful. They forget their old friends and  become arrogant. The danger of success is that we can lose our integrity. But first -

How to find success?

The following tips will help you on your  journey toward success. Use them for inspiration and guidance when you feel like giving up.

Starting out

Step 1: Define YOUR success

Do you sometimes feel frustrated and disheartened because you are not reaching the success you yearn for? If so, check out whether you are using other people’s measure of success, instead of creating your own.

For some people success may mean creating a big business. For others raising their children well may be the epitome of success. For someone who’s had an accident, being able feed themselves again may be a huge success. It all depends on your circumstances.

What about you? What is the meaning of success for you?

It’s important to honor whatever success may mean for you. And it doesn’t matter whether the success you wish for is ‘big’ or ‘small’ in the eyes of others.

Step 2: Honor your creativity

We all  have seeds of success within. It’s just a question of finding our own true measure of success, and then defining  and following a pathway.  In an earlier post I wrote about how to create great things from one crazy idea. So often we kill our good ideas before they take their first breath. It’s helpful to carry a little ‘ideas’ booklet around with you. Write down any idea you have – even if it seems crazy. Having a ‘crazy’ idea just means that you have stepped out of your comfort zone. That’s good!

Step 2: Prepare for lag-time

We want immediate results when we start something new. But life isn’t like that. When we start something new, we experience the principle of lag. This means that there is a period of time before action shows results.

Lag can be very frustrating. Because when you start something new, you have a vision of success. And lag means that you may not see that success for a long time. It’s important to welcome lag time, and not to fight against it. Because if you do try to overcome lag time by force – you will end up frustrated.

Lag time is useful because it allows us to prepare for the new journey. It gives us time to learn new skills, and make new connections. If feel frustrated about success dragging its heels, think about how you can put the lag-time to good use.

What skills can you learn now?
What connections can you make now that may shape your future?

Mid way

Once you start to taste success, it’s important to celebrate. Because the danger is that we get caught up in rising expectations – which means that the success we have may never feel quite enough.

Step 3:  Avoid the ‘moving goalpost’ syndrome

Here’s what happened to me when I started blogging: my goal first goal was to to reach 100 subscribers. When my subscriber count finally reached 100,  it was amazing! But actually, I forgot to celebrate. Because I had already shifted the goalposts. Now I wanted 200, or even 500 subscribers.

Has that happened to you too?

Sometimes other people do that to us.  Maybe your boss keeps on shifting the goalposts. If the goal posts keep on shifting, we rob ourselves of satisfaction. That’s why it’s important to define what success is for you so that you can remind yourself. And celebrate each milestone on the way.

Step 4: Be determined

Determination can make the difference between success and failure. Most people give up when the going gets tough. And with every endeavor, things get tough at times. Have you got enough stickability to keep going? Calvin Coolidge, a President of the USA had something to say about determination:

Nothing in the world can take the place of Persistence.
Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent.
Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb.
Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts.
Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
~ Calvin Coolidge (1872 – 1933)

Step 5:  Connect with others

In order to thrive in a new venture, it’s good to make good connections with others in the field. Whether it’s a new hobby you’re taking up, or whether it’s a new business venture – good connections are often the difference between success and failure. You can encourage each other and help each other. Being on that long road to success can feel lonely. If you can gather some friends around you who are on a similar journey, you will feel supported.

On the Peak

When you finally find success, it can be a heady experience. This is where people can start to lose their integrity. But it’s crucial to keep well grounded when you hit success.

Step 6:  Practice humility

When we taste success it’s easy to forget that we didn’t get there on our own. When you look carefully, you will find many who helped you in small or big ways. Make sure you thank them! And remember to remain modest and humble about whatever you’ve achieved.

Step 7: Make your mistakes with confidence

At this stage of your journey, you know that you’re going in the right direction. Hopefully you’ll still be making mistakes – which means that you are experimenting and learning. Make your mistakes with confidence, knowing that they are necessary for further progress.

Step 8:  Pass on your skills

When you’re successful, it’s your responsibility to teach others to do the same. Pass on your secrets, your knowledge and your strategies, and you will enjoy not only your success, but the success of those you mentored.

Step 9: Be a benefactor

Who is going to benefit from your success? Make sure it’s not just you! Once you are successful, you need to start thinking about spreading the benefits of success around. Maybe there someone in your family or friends who needs a hand-up? Or maybe there is a charity you could  sponsor. If you give a good part of what you get away to others, your success will have a new depth of meaning.

Conclusion

If you think of nature, there is no instant growth. You may be able to accelerate growth through using artificial means, such as a hothouse, but the plants that have been forced to grow fast will be a lot more delicate than the ones that have grown at their own organic pace. It’s the same for any venture: organic growth leads to better long-term results.

With a positive can-do attitude, a portion of resilience, and lots of determination, you will be on the way to success. Add to that hard work,  and a willingness to learn, and you have a chance of achieving what you set out to do. Remember that to find success is not a passive undertaking. Be willing to struggle and turn your bones inside out.

Meet good fortune half way.

Please share your tips about being successful in the comments!