By Mary Jaksch
Do you dream of a bright future? Here’s a mindset that may help you to achieve whatever you desire.
Let’s first talk about two different mindsets that sometimes collide in our mind: being positive versus being realistic. Being positive and being realistic are two ends of the mindset spectrum.
I’m sure you’ve experienced that when optimists and realists discuss a project, there is often a clash of perspectives. The optimist is a visionary and focuses on the end goal. The realist is skeptical – and sometimes downright negative – because his or her focus is on the steps along the way, not on the outcome.
Which are you – an optimist or a realist?
Often we flip-flop from one mode to the other. When we’re feeling happy we tend to think about the future in a positive way. When things go wrong, we tend to forget about positive thinking and focus on the problems of the present moment.
It’s sometimes difficult to decide which response is optimistic, realistic, or downright negative. For example, is it overly optimistic to think: “Follow your passion – and the money will follow”? Some pessimist think that this can only lead to humiliation. Which view is right?
Why Positive Realism enables us to grow
What does ‘positive’ mean? It means using the power of hope for change. To be realistic means to live in the present moment, and not in dreams of the future, or in stories of the past. It means facing difficulties without denial, as well as fully enjoying the beauty of each moment. When you join vision and realism, you find the power of Positive Realism.
The Power of Positive Realism
At the center of Positive Realism is hope. It’s one of the most powerful mindstates we can access. It’s what allow people to heal. And it’s at the center of every creative venture. Because without hope, you give up – right from the start. And that’s the problem with negativity. Negative people are usually non-starters, because they can’t imagine a positive outcome.
Some call the power of hope, the ‘law of attraction’. John Assaraf says in the book ‘The Secret’:
Our job as humans is to hold on to the thoughts of what we want, make it absolutely clear in our minds what we want, and from that we start to invoke one of the greatest laws in the Universe, and that’s the law of attraction. You become what you think about most, but you also attract what you think about most.
Yes, hope and faith can give us great strength. However, blind faith has its limitations. Because if we just focus on how we want the future to be, we may be blind to opportunities along the way.
Hope combined with realism is a winner
The attitude of positive realism combines the mindstate of the visionary, with that of the realist. The key aspect of Positive Realism is that we dream big – and then set realistic goals.
Let’s get back to our example. The saying ‘If you do what you love, the money will naturally follow’ is a big dream. But this dream may not materialize. Why?
A dream needs to be accompanied by realistic goals.
Proponents of ‘the law of attraction’ want to make us believe that whatever we dream of, will appear of its own accord – without any hard work. Realism tells a different story: effort is important. In particular, directed effort is crucial. The direction comes from the goals we set.
If we dream big and then set realistic goals, there is nothing we can’t achieve.
What do you think?
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Hi Mary,
You nailed on the head what has always felt “off” to me about the Secret…not that we shouldn’t open up and let our soul dream big…but that the assumption seemed to say that things would just fall from the sky– no real discussion on the committed, directed and charmed work that will get you to your goal.
Of course that work shouldn’t be full of heaviness and weight– but work done toward something that excites and energizes you is GOOD FOR THE SOUL.
Thanks for sharing how these two truths work together!
You’ve nailed the secret of getting great things done.
I tend to think that the best team will include both – optimists/visionaries to generate the ideas and excitement and the dream – and realists/executors to plan for the obstacles and take care of the details and move the work along. Optimists/visionaries paint the big picture and realists make sure they deliver.
.-= ami´s last blog ..If We’re All in Sales – Who is YOUR Customer? =-.
This post is great, Mary! I especially like this sentiment: “blind faith has its limitations. Because if we just focus on how we want the future to be, we may be blind to opportunities along the way.” I often find new avenues to pursue my creative dreams, and in the end, my achievements rarely look the way I originally envisioned them. Often, they look better!
As you suggest, with optimism, directed effort, and keeping our eyes open to new opportunities, we can make great things happen
Thanks for the inspiration!
.-= Ami Mattison´s last blog ..4 Reasons You Should Perform Your Poetry =-.
I find that if you can take a step back, there’s usually more than one interpretation of a situation. Which point of view makes you feel more positive? Focus on that. This goes far beyond hope, which I agree is important. Holding a focus on what you want to create instead of what you have is an act of power that may at times seem “unrealistic” but when you shift your attention off of what is wrong, you open your entire being to much more possibility.
.-= Linda Gabriel´s last blog ..7 Simple Ways to Raise Your Happiness Set Point =-.
Well said. Just ask those workaholics behind Abraham Hicks or Wayne Dyer. Driven by work. And presto, money appears out of thin air, lol.
.-= Don´s last blog ..Is life a zero sum game? =-.
Hi Mary and great to “meet” you!
I love the notion of Positive Realism. One of my top Strengths in Gallup’s Strengthfinder assessment is “Positivity.” So while being positive comes so naturally to me, I also need to balance it out with “reality” in each situation.
As I’m coaching my clients, too, we often talk about the balance between maintaining a positive attitude…and following up with specific action that will support the optimism.
What a lovely, simple, insightful blog you have. I’m glad I found you!
All the best.
Oh Yay! Yes, yes, yes!! I’m so happy to read about “Positive Realism” Law of Attraction has a big blind spot with action and realistic goals. All too often I hear the black and white “are you optimistic or realistic” and inside I shout “both” why can’t it be both. You say, “If we dream big and then set realistic goals, there is nothing we can’t achieve.” – and I say a hearty yes to that! Thank you for writing this lovely article!!!!!!
.-= Aileen´s last blog ..Quote for Today =-.
I love the idea of positive realism and love even more that you call it hope. Hope and faith keep me grounded in the present and excited about the future.
.-= Courtney Carver´s last blog ..Clean your sink and 2 other ways to be more today. =-.
I’m so delighted to read this post! I’ve been skeptical for a while about the concept that a person can focus their energies on a particular outcome (money appearing in their life, for example) and then achieve that without any further action. I truly believe that energy flows where attention goes, and that’s what motivates the action that leads to outcomes. I love the way you’ve articulated the link – effort. Positive realism may become my new mantra!
Topi
.-= Topi´s last blog ..A Mother’s Day to cherish =-.
I belive that the approach of “faith without works is dead” also applies. When I hope for something and the goal is real and purposful then I’m willing to walk through fire if need be to get it, be it a job, something for my children or a relationship, hope can and should be a catalyst for action.
Thanks for reminding me Mary. It’s time to hope again.
This is a terrific article! I am an optimist and a realistic and now I know how wonderful it is to marry the two. I don’t believe wishing always makes it so because there’s also karma to take into consideration. We can change karma, but it can take time and it does take effort too. The effort can have the spirit of effortless effort, but it does still require effort! Hope, dreams, goals, and effort are all essential.
.-= Sandra Lee´s last blog ..Healthy twig tea =-.
Wonderful Mary! Yes, I’m with you. I truly believe that big dreams + effort and action = achievement. Your simple life lessons of staying present and adopting a realistic, strong viewpoint really resonate with me. Sometimes we need to hear it – it’s okay to be super optimistic, in a real and focused way. Love it.
This is a great article. I agree that our thinking can hinder us or help us. You might enjoy a new author, Hope Bradford, of the book, “Beneficial Law of Attraction.” It’s a great read on positive thought and focus.
Great article. I couldn’t agree more about setting big goals and then finding a realistic way to get there. It is going to require a commitment and effort on our part and I think it is important to realize that if you want to ever accomplish anything. I think once we really are able to consistently set big goals and then go about them in a practical manner, we really do set ourselves up to accomplish what we desire.
Mary,
I’ve been following you for a couple of months. You have a great message, and wonderful outlook! Realism is important, coupling it with a positive approach and hard work, that is powerful.
.-= Occasionallyserene´s last blog ..What could you do, if you knew you could not fail? =-.
When I started reading this article I was a bit cautious (I guess the pessimistic realist in me) until I got till that last paragraph. Yes! Gone with the naysaying attitude! You made me a believer of positive realism. I think the combination of idealistic dreams with realistic (short term) goals is the answer for any realist who is willing to change his future.
.-= Martijn´s last blog ..Declutter like a pro, not like a zealot! =-.
You nailed it! I’ve been trying to do this for some time. Live in the moment, be a realist, and an optimist all at the same time. It’s not the easiest, but I feel great about it! You can’t move forward without recognizing what needs to improve, and that requires realism. You can’t move forward if you don’t believe things will get better, which requires optimism. And who wants to live an unhappy life? Happiness comes with positivity. Thanks for posting!
.-= Lynn´s last blog ..Corporate Consumer Culture =-.
I love the concept of positive realism. There are times I hear from some people that they think I’m negative but honestly I feel I just put the realistic spin on things and yet I’m still looking forward to a creative/positive outcome of the situation. Life is what keeps me going. I do have hope. I do care about doing what is right not just for myself but others.
I have a hard time though with some people in positions of power that tout “I dislike negativity.” It is a bit easier to have a positive attitude when you are getting all the perks and bonuses. If you have employees that are unhappy and appearing negative…are you putting out that vibe? Are you truly creating a positive atmosphere at work to encourage more positive realism?
We all have to go inward and look at some of the real “stuff” to bring the positive forward.
Thank you for sharing.
I really love this post! The idea of combining realism with dreams is something I have struggled with my entire young adult life. I think that taking the time to get there is sometimes the hardest part of the road. We are a culture of instantaneous options, and there is nothing more frustrating than an inability to get something we want immediately. (like a dream fulfilled.)
Thanks for your wonderful post
It was my understanding from the beginning that “dreams can come true” with the Law of attraction. I never for one second thought it will just fall in my lap. But … do I belief I deserve … do I allow myself to receive all the abundance…. do I belief in my own abilities … am I open to all the opportunities? Nothing happens until I take action, but it starts with the vision, faith and end with action. Be… do… have…
Hey, you used to write fantastic posts, but the last several posts have been kinda lackluster… I miss your super posts. Past several posts are just a little bit out of track!
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