7 Sources of Deep Clutter

A guest post from Tara Sophia Mohr from  Wise Living.

There’s a lot of talk about clutter these days–how to clear it, reduce it, and get it under control. Most of this is about what I call “shallow clutter,” which is clutter that stems from having too much stuff, unclear priorities, and a lack of systems for your things and your time.

Tips and tools that reduce shallow clutter are great, but my experience is that they only go so far in alleviating the sense of overwhelm and fragmentation that so many of us feel. That’s because most of us are carrying another kind of clutter, which I’ve come to call “deep clutter.” Deep clutter can be cleared too.

The Seven Sources of Deep Clutter

There are seven common causes of deep clutter:

1. Shoulds: Shoulds are those things we do only because of the little voice in our head that says we should. I should host Thanksgiving. I should bring a gift over to the new neighbors. I should wash the car every weekend. Where are you being driven by a should? How are shoulds creating deep clutter in your life?

2. Have-to’s. Have-to’s are those things we do because we firmly believe there is no other way. I have to be in this job I hate. I have to drive carpool. I have to spend an hour a day commuting. Rigorously question your assumptions about the have-to’s in your life. Assume that it is a life and death matter to find creative alternatives to one of your have-to’s. Set a timer and spend 15 minutes rapidly brainstorming alternatives (practical and impractical). Brainstorm with a friend if that will help you get out of the box of your own thinking. See what new possibilities you discover.

3. People-pleasing. What are you doing because you want to fit in, because you don’t want to disappoint, or because you never learned how to actually vocalize that oh-so-important word, no? People-pleasing is a huge source of deep clutter in our lives.

The only solution I know to the people-pleasing habit is this: Care less about what others think and more about your own quality of life. Know that, yes, you really are a nice person‚Äîthat is not at risk every time you accept or decline a commitment. Practice not people-pleasing so that you can learn that the world won’t stop turning if you depart from the herd or disappoint people every now and then.

4. Habits. Take a fresh look at yours. Do you want to spend Sundays the way you want to spend Sundays? Could your morning routine be altered to better reflect your current needs and priorities? What commitments are in your calendar simply because you’ve been doing them for a while–not because they are relevant now? Just like an old piece of clothing you never wear anymore becomes a piece of clutter in your home, the routines that you don’t find value in anymore but do out of habit create deep clutter in your life.

5. Sunk Costs. Sometimes we stick with something because of work we’ve previously put into it. That soccer league you joined has turned out to be really not your thing, but if you quit now, wouldn’t that mean all those nights you went, trying to make it fun, were a waste? The remodeling project is driving you insane, but you must finish it or all that insanity will be for nothing! I know, this feels rational, but it is actually irrational. Your current suffering cannot redeem your past suffering. (And that’s actually good news!) So stop.

6. Settling. Sometimes we pick up clutter in our lives when we engage in something we don’t really enjoy or feel good about, but that we believe is the best available option. We do this with possessions, work, activities we do in our spare time, and sad to say, even friendships.

Do you have to love every sock in your closet? Probably not. We all make tradeoffs about where we are willing to settle–to save time or money or for convenience–and where we want to stick it out and wait for something we love.

Look for clutter created by settling. Consider where it is worth it to spend more time and energy now to create or find a better option, one that won’t drain you or clutter your life over the long-term.

7. Distraction. Many of us create clutter in our lives–and then complain about it. Over-busyness gives us an adrenalin rush. It reassures us that our lives are full. It distracts us from big questions, from acknowledging difficult truths and from slowing down to be in the moment and look at what is.

What projects and commitments in your life are not really essential, but are in fact filling up time to protect you from empty white space with yourself?

What To Do With Deep Clutter

1. Recognize Your Deep Clutter. Now that you know the seven sources of deep clutter, recognize which ones are operating in your life. You might know right away, from reading the list above. But often it isn’t that obvious. Review your calendar for the past three weeks, looking at your schedule through this lens. Which activities would you label as one of the seven types of deep clutter? Be rigorously honest with yourself.

2. Make One Immediate Change. With your new awareness, make one immediate change. Cancel one commitment. Quit one project. Change one habit. Make one change that will have an impact on your quality of life.

3. Be Proactive. Create strategies to address deep clutter in your life. For example, if you know you are plagued by shoulds, you might want to make an attempt to notice when you speak or think the word should, and to question those shoulds. If habits are a clutter-driver for you, perhaps you’d like to institute a monthly review of your routine commitments, evaluating them with a fresh eye.

4. Start Letting Go. Get brave and bold about letting go of deep clutter in your life. Start building your schedule around your true priorities, your desires and your dreams.

Let me know what you discover, and please add your own sources of and remedies for deep clutter to this list.

Tara Sophia Mohr is a writer, coach and personal growth teacher who blogs at Wise Living.

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