By Mary Jaksch
Everyone needs a refuge. A safe space. Where we feel welcome. Where we find shelter. Where we are deeply refreshed.
It may not be a place, it could be an activity, or a person, or an idea that gives us a sense of refuge.
What is your refuge?
The following questions will help you clarify that question.
- What gives you the most joy?
- Where do you feel most at ease?
- Who is the person you feel most comfortable with?
- What makes you feel most peaceful?
- What makes you feel most connected?
- What makes you feel most creative?
- What gives you the most courage?
Were these questions difficult for you to answer? Or easy?
Spiritual practice is a refuge
If you want to find a refuge that offers ease and freedom, you may want to try spiritual practice. One of the most life-giving practices is loving-kindness meditation, an ancient Buddhist tradition. It opens and soften the heart and allows you to connect deeply with yourself and the world.
His Holiness the Dalai Lama says:
I believe that whether a person follows any religion or not is unimportant, they must have a good heart, a warm heart. This is essential for a happy life.
I’ll be teaching lovingkindness meditation – which warms and opens the heart – on our next FREE Virtual Zen Retreat The Miracle of Kindness (7-12 february 2010). If you’re not yet enroled, you might want to move fast as we have only 27 places left before we close enrolments at 1,200 participants. Grab a place by filling out the form in the sidebar.
{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }
i have enroled myself.loooking forward to this class
thanks
[Reply]
What gives you the most joy?
Meals out with friends.
Where do you feel most at ease?
Counter-intuitively, at the gym. I love exercising as an escape from the stress of the rest of life.
Who is the person you feel most comfortable with?
My fiance
What makes you feel most peaceful?
Taking a long shower
What makes you feel most connected?
See #1
What makes you feel most creative?
Writing about my passions
What gives you the most courage?
Knowing that I have the support of my friends and loved ones.
Thanks, I liked that exercise.
[Reply]
I have several places and activities that provide me a more sacred and connected perspective on life. One of them is a Zen retreat site that I can visit freely. It’s nestled on the outskirts of a forest. The zendo is about the most warm and happy place in the world for me. There is also a walking path if you really want to know what refuge is.
I also have some great “Zen Environments” (there is a great old book by this name that relates to this topic) in and around my house.
Zen Choices´s last blog ..What Can Friedrich Nietzsche’s “Perspectivism” Teach About Interconnectedness and Judging Others
[Reply]
Very interesting post, I took the liberty to answer over at my blog, but I also want to share my answers here. It was a very interesting exercise to get some insight into the refuge idea and how it works for me:
What gives you the most joy? A lot of things give me joy, but lately helping others or sharing my time gives me joy. It feels wonderful when I know I could aid someone. Even with the small posts that I write here.
Where do you feel most at ease? It is not an specific place, I feel at ease when I practice zazen. I just need a quiet place for that. Usually my room or the guest’s room at my grandma’s house.
Who is the person you feel most comfortable with? Myself of course, but I think it refers to someone else (which is weird since such a distinction is not very zen, just as this). I feel very comfortable with my brother sometimes and some others with Kym, still being by myself reminds me of how I am part of the world, which makes me comfortable.
What makes you feel most peaceful? Zazen of course, but also I’m discovering that I just need to do what I’m doing to feel that way. That sounds weird, let me give an example: When I code I just code, when I eat I just eat. If I follow that pattern it feels “right” and that brings peace.
What makes you feel most connected? I bet this does not mean email or IM clients. Feeling connected I think it goes on how we are connected to the world. Sharing my time with others and interacting with them helps, but what makes me feel the most connected is just to know that everything IS connected, we and the whole world. Simple idea but hard to grasp.
What makes you feel most creative? Reading helps me spark a lot of ideas, but when I’m really pushing ideas here and there is when I code. I guess is a huge deviations from my formal designer training, but when I code it feels as if I’m working with the inner parts of the idea and that is awesome!
What gives you the most courage? This one was the most difficult one to answer. I think everything goes down to love and kindness. I usually go really out of my way when a loved one is in troubles or needs help, sounds a bit heroic, but after a while of giving it some thought, everything comes to those parts of my life that I love. So the common part is love I guess.
Thanks for sharing Mary.
Alejandro Reyes´s last blog ..One of those days…
[Reply]
I love your Blog Mary!..I haven’t a special place but sometimes when I need to recharge, I like to have a long walk, free my mind and leave the emotions to go and such best idea arrives in that moment.
Thank you, Roberto
[Reply]
I just booked the retreat! Sounds like a great idea. It is a great way to be able to carry the “refuge” all the time with you and just meditate anywhere anytime!
Can’t wait!
Best,
Tomas
Tomas Stonkus´s last blog ..A Sure Way To Piss People Off And How Not To Do It
[Reply]
My refuge is my bedroom. I meditate in here each and every day without my family knowing because they would probably disapprove.
Richard | RichardShelmerdine.com´s last blog ..Lessons From a Month of Meditation
[Reply]
One key piece to the puzzle is, after you have identified or clarified your place of refuge, the ability to be fully present in that place. That’s the hard part!
[Reply]
My refuge is the beach. Actually, nature in general is my refuge. There’s nothing like a walk on a beach, wandering in amongst trees or staring out at an amazing view to soothe my soul.
Very thought provoking questions Mary. I shall ponder them some more.
Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..Random Acts of Kick Arse – Gratitude
[Reply]
I really enjoy your thoughtful posts. The seven questions encourage a lot of valuable introspection. I wonder about the repetition of you, you, you, you, you, you, you. Where is the next step to thoughts about the people around us. Are these questions selfish? Can we get beyond ‘what, where who’ to ‘how?’
Paul Cornies´s last blog ..Got to Love Heinz Ketchup
[Reply]
Mary,
Thank you so much for this post! Your blog is a refuge.
Nature is a refuge.
My warm bed is a refuge.
My children’s embrace is a refuge.
A good book is a refuge.
My friends are a refuge.
My new found fearlessness is a refuge.
[Reply]