Comments on: Want to Improve Your Relationships? Listen Up! http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/ Practical inspiration. For a happier life Thu, 09 Sep 2010 11:23:34 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0 By: The Ultimate 40 Posts For Valentine’s Day | Make It Happen http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-7011 The Ultimate 40 Posts For Valentine’s Day | Make It Happen Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:17:44 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-7011 [...] 26. Improve your relationships – listen up [...] [...] 26. Improve your relationships – listen up [...]

]]> By: Gail @ A Flourishing Life http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6943 Gail @ A Flourishing Life Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:43:31 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6943 @Livvy Thanks, Livvy. And I appreciate your sharing the link. It shows a very clear depiction of the skill of active listening. .-= Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/gailbrenner/teDD/~3/QpJySw5XAR0/" rel="nofollow">Meditation Is a Gift to Yourself</a> =-. @Livvy Thanks, Livvy. And I appreciate your sharing the link. It shows a very clear depiction of the skill of active listening.
Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..Meditation Is a Gift to Yourself My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Livvy http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6942 Livvy Mon, 08 Feb 2010 15:27:16 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6942 Hi Gail. This is a nice post with some really useful advice ~ I enjoyed the read. I have recently come across a model on active listening & it seems to align to some of your key points :-) <a href="http://www.knowledgegenes.com//home.aspx?kgid=10535" rel="nofollow">Active Listening Model</a> Hi Gail.

This is a nice post with some really useful advice ~ I enjoyed the read.

I have recently come across a model on active listening & it seems to align to some of your key points :-)
Active Listening Model

]]> By: Gail @ A Flourishing Life http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6887 Gail @ A Flourishing Life Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:15:19 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6887 @Cheryl: Our feelings stay with us because we spin a story in our minds over and over. Sounds like part of your story is self-critical. Bringing kindness right into that self-critical part sounds like just the right thing. .-= Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/gailbrenner/teDD/~3/QpJySw5XAR0/" rel="nofollow">Meditation is a Gift to Yourself</a> =-. @Cheryl: Our feelings stay with us because we spin a story in our minds over and over. Sounds like part of your story is self-critical. Bringing kindness right into that self-critical part sounds like just the right thing.
Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..Meditation is a Gift to Yourself My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: cheryl http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6874 cheryl Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:48:19 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6874 Thank you Gail for your words and you compliment. I'm sitting here...sad all day and trying to keep focus in the now. Reading and stopping and being quiet. This one day I've learned so much about myself. I'm overwhelmed with my feelings. Silly thing is, I was feeling bummed out that a "guy" didn't call me. That's not it...silly me. I was saying such bad things about myself. I thought I need to listen to myself and be kind to me. Then I read this. Yes, this moment is sad and soon it will be gone. Cheryl .-= cheryl´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjr7KqgBxq4&feature=youtube_gdata" rel="nofollow">Everything Michael Buble cover ukulele & voice</a> =-. Thank you Gail for your words and you compliment.

I’m sitting here…sad all day and trying to keep focus in the now. Reading and stopping and being quiet. This one day I’ve learned so much about myself. I’m overwhelmed with my feelings. Silly thing is, I was feeling bummed out that a “guy” didn’t call me. That’s not it…silly me. I was saying such bad things about myself. I thought I need to listen to myself and be kind to me. Then I read this. Yes, this moment is sad and soon it will be gone.

Cheryl
cheryl´s last blog ..Everything Michael Buble cover ukulele & voice My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Gail @ A Flourishing Life http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6873 Gail @ A Flourishing Life Fri, 05 Feb 2010 01:32:56 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6873 @Cheryl: You are so <em>ripe</em>! So much insight! Yes, kindness toward yourself, especially as you begin to stay quiet and peek into those closed-off and guarded places. There is a sweet, tender one in there just itching to come out. I can feel it. BTW, you have a gorgeous voice. .-= Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/gailbrenner/teDD/~3/QpJySw5XAR0/" rel="nofollow">Meditation is a Gift to Yourself</a> =-. @Cheryl: You are so ripe! So much insight! Yes, kindness toward yourself, especially as you begin to stay quiet and peek into those closed-off and guarded places. There is a sweet, tender one in there just itching to come out. I can feel it.

BTW, you have a gorgeous voice.
Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..Meditation is a Gift to Yourself My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: cheryl http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6871 cheryl Fri, 05 Feb 2010 00:22:18 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6871 Thank you Gail, Ahhh, the heart. I think I have a guarded heart. No one has come close in a long time. My words are what I've used to protects my sad and lonely heart and I wondered why I couldn't get close. I am unsure of how I do it, but I certainly keep people from getting close. My best guess is that it's my words. I notice the people who are great, warm and kind listeners. I will try more kindness and mostly I'm talking about being kind to myself. Cheryl .-= cheryl´s last blog ..<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xjr7KqgBxq4&feature=youtube_gdata" rel="nofollow">Everything Michael Buble cover ukulele & voice</a> =-. Thank you Gail,

Ahhh, the heart. I think I have a guarded heart. No one has come close in a long time. My words are what I’ve used to protects my sad and lonely heart and I wondered why I couldn’t get close. I am unsure of how I do it, but I certainly keep people from getting close. My best guess is that it’s my words.

I notice the people who are great, warm and kind listeners. I will try more kindness and mostly I’m talking about being kind to myself.
Cheryl
cheryl´s last blog ..Everything Michael Buble cover ukulele & voice My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: Gail @ A Flourishing Life http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6869 Gail @ A Flourishing Life Thu, 04 Feb 2010 22:44:50 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6869 Wow, Cheryl! I love the insights you have about yourself and your willingness to tell the truth. What courage to realize that you were looking to others to deepen the conversation while you were checking out. Once we let go of blaming others and look at ourselves, transformation is possible. The steps you are taking such as taking a breath and making a simple heartfelt comment sound just right to me. Maybe you can look beneath your busy mind into your heart? That's where the surest guidance always rests. I wish you well. .-= Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/gailbrenner/teDD/~3/QpJySw5XAR0/" rel="nofollow">Meditation is a Gift to Yourself</a> =-. Wow, Cheryl! I love the insights you have about yourself and your willingness to tell the truth. What courage to realize that you were looking to others to deepen the conversation while you were checking out. Once we let go of blaming others and look at ourselves, transformation is possible.

The steps you are taking such as taking a breath and making a simple heartfelt comment sound just right to me. Maybe you can look beneath your busy mind into your heart? That’s where the surest guidance always rests.

I wish you well.
Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..Meditation is a Gift to Yourself My ComLuv Profile

]]> By: cheryl http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6867 cheryl Thu, 04 Feb 2010 21:51:18 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6867 I like this. I always understood that I was a fairly good communicator. I had a job with the public and most of all, what I learned is that most of us, all of us, are alike in many ways. Over the years I would notice I get bored when people talk and I would "check out" and wonder what happened. I would crave the depth of a conversation and wanted it to come from someone else. It was a constant lonely feeling. I have been trying to not talk as much which is a huge problem for me, so I take a breath and a look. I think or say, thank you for sharing that, or I enjoyed our conversation. I am working on building close friendships with like minded people. Tough at times, with my busy busy mind! Thank you, Cheryl I like this. I always understood that I was a fairly good communicator. I had a job with the public and most of all, what I learned is that most of us, all of us, are alike in many ways. Over the years I would notice I get bored when people talk and I would “check out” and wonder what happened. I would crave the depth of a conversation and wanted it to come from someone else. It was a constant lonely feeling.

I have been trying to not talk as much which is a huge problem for me, so I take a breath and a look. I think or say, thank you for sharing that, or I enjoyed our conversation.

I am working on building close friendships with like minded people. Tough at times, with my busy busy mind!

Thank you,

Cheryl

]]> By: Gail @ A Flourishing Life http://goodlifezen.com/2010/01/29/want-to-improve-your-relationships-listen-up/comment-page-1/#comment-6794 Gail @ A Flourishing Life Tue, 02 Feb 2010 00:38:54 +0000 http://goodlifezen.com/?p=4838#comment-6794 @Kelly: Hi Kelly, I am moved by your courage to admit to the problems you have with listening to others. The first giant step to changing any behavior is to really take in the effects of the behavior that isn't working. As the whole process becomes more conscious, we then have the ability to make a different, more satisfying choice. May I suggest that you try to be very kind and compassionate with yourself as you begin to make changes? Your mind is probably highly conditioned to think quickly and come up with fascinating things to add to the conversation. Bring compassion to your busy mind, and you will eventually be able to make the choice to stay present. .-= Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..<a href="http://feedproxy.google.com/~r/gailbrenner/teDD/~3/nJwZs1dG1kU/" rel="nofollow">Happiness from the Inside Out</a> =-. @Kelly: Hi Kelly, I am moved by your courage to admit to the problems you have with listening to others. The first giant step to changing any behavior is to really take in the effects of the behavior that isn’t working. As the whole process becomes more conscious, we then have the ability to make a different, more satisfying choice.

May I suggest that you try to be very kind and compassionate with yourself as you begin to make changes? Your mind is probably highly conditioned to think quickly and come up with fascinating things to add to the conversation. Bring compassion to your busy mind, and you will eventually be able to make the choice to stay present.
Gail @ A Flourishing Life´s last blog ..Happiness from the Inside Out My ComLuv Profile

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