By Mary Jaksch
Be Content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.
- Lao Tzu
Spend five minutes watching TV ads and you’ll know what makes us happier. In the eyes of the advertiser, that is. A new car, diamond earrings, a new kitchen, carpets, house, overseas travel – everything that adverts offer us pretends to be a magic pill that will make us happier.
But does it?
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Actually, it does.
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I remember a time when I was so small that I had to stretch to see over the table. My parents bought me a pair of shiny red shoes. And I loved them! I loved them so much that I put them under my pillow at night.
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I can’t remember what happened next. But I suppose it is what always happens after we get a new toy. Scuff marks appear on the new shoe, or you drive you car into a hedge and get scratches over the gleaming paintwork. You put down a hot pot on the new kitchen bench and can’t get rid of the burn mark. Your new shiny thing ages.
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So, yes – buying something new does make you feel happier. But only for a short while. That’s what our consumer society is built upon. Because when the thrill wears off, we need to go shopping again.
The beauty of less
A minimalist embraces the beauty of less, the aesthetic of spareness, a life of contentedness in what we need and what makes us truly happy. ~ Leo Babauta in The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life
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I’ve recently been thinking about the difference between the mind of having, and the mind of being. These two are completely different ways to experience life. In a commercial society, everything is for sale, and everything needs to have a benefit.
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The focus on benefits is all about having. What we’ve lost sight is that there is also being. If you look at the question below, you’ll see how limited the ‘having’ mindset is:
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What is the benefit of being alive?
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That questions is absurd, isn’t it? It just doesn’t make sense. Because being alive is – well – about being. And not about having.
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In our consumer society, the mind of having is predominant. Our value in society is measured not by how we are, but by what we have. Everything turns into a lifestyle accessory when we look at it from the perspective of ‘having’ – even love or friendship.
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One of the ways to escape the trap of having is the way of Minimalism
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I’ve recently come across a thought-provoking book by Leo Babauta, called The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life. In it he describes simple ways of escaping consumerism, in order to heighten happiness.
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What is a minimalist life?
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It is a life, say Leo, “that is stripped of the unnecessary, to make room for that which gives you joy…It’s not a life of nothing, of boringness. It’s a life of richness, in less.”
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How to become a minimalist
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Leo sets out four steps that help us embrace a life of minimalism:
- Start by realizing you already have
enough. - Start cutting back on clutter and
possessions. - Start simplifying your schedule.
- Slowly edit everything you do.
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These are four simple principles that we can start applying immediately.
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It seems to me that the principles of minimalism – which also find expression in spare Zen aesthetics – are a practical way to foster spirituality in one’s life.
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The Simple Guide to a Minimalist Life has a minimalist price tag of $9.95. Leo is giving $5000 of the proceeds to a worthwhile cause, Guampedia. I think it’s a great read!
You can find out more about the book here.
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{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
Mary, you are right again. It does feel good to get some new toy. And this could even go for a while. But of course whatever we think we posses also possesses us in return. We use the toys and they use our time, space and money (and some emotional and mental power also).
So getting rid is a way (though sometimes hard) of refocusing on what you need.
So I am about to move with my girlfriend into a new house in about 3 months. I know that life gives me through this the opportunity (sometimes with a slightly stinging pain) to refocus some of my attentions on objects again.
Again – moving as a lesson in Zen.
.-= Patrick´s last blog ..The 9 Illusions That Hold You Captive =-.
yes yes yes – throw away everything and you’ll be truly free and realize how little objects actually matter
.-= Faramarz ´s last blog ..Hyperventilation and Successful Breathing =-.
Some things are still good to buy, but I’ve found that just putting more thought in to what you spend your money on is a big help. In most cases you can have more in terms of happiness, time, and organization by owning less.
.-= Justin- AlittleBetter.net´s last blog ..5 Reason to Believe in People Again =-.
Lovely review, Mary.Thank you.
I lead a very simple life and am in the middle of a massive restructure right now. My mission is to have a home that has a holiday home feel, one that’s easy to keep clean and clutter free and where the whole family can focus on what’s important and makes us happy.
Fifty years worth of books and ornaments are packed in boxes because we redecorated last week. I’m going to leave them there for a while to see what I actually miss. For the first time ever, my teenage daughter came into the almost empty living room and said it looked stunning. My son said he hadn’t realised how much space we had. Vacuuming has been a joy, dusting takes a few minutes and I already know which books I miss. Having no photos of my kids as babies and toddlers isn’t as painful as I thought; it means I just focus better on how gorgeous they actually are when they come home from school! Only my absolute favourite or most useful possessions will make a reappearance.
.-= janice´s last blog ..Life Laundry…revisited =-.
Someone once told me:
The more things you own, the more those things own you.
Spring cleaning is only 6 months away. Repost this great article again then!
.-= Pete | The Tango Notebook´s last blog ..How Dancing Tango in Philadelphia Made Me Shrink =-.
A great companion quote or parable for simplifying your life and detaching from the need to “have” is the following:
“Someone gave me this glass, and I really like this glass. It holds my water admirably and it glistens in the sunlight. I touch it and it rings! One day the wind may blow it off the shelf, or my elbow may knock it from the table. I know this glass is already broken, so I enjoy it incredibly.”
— Achaan Chah Subhaddo (Subato)
Hey Mary,
I love the part where you talk about the needing to have as extending almost as a property interest to loving and friendship. It’s frightening where consumerism has taken us.
Here one of my favorite quotes:
“The most exquisite paradox: As soon as you give it all up you can have it all.” –Ram Dass
Thank you for all the time you put into your blog. Your effort shows and is much appreciated.
.-= Geri Langlois´s last blog ..About this Blog and Me =-.
Great post! I agree with your comments that focusing on benefits is about having and not being. I also think that we are sold on value. We are told that we are getting $2,000 worth of value for $97. The value should be inherent and not sold based on marketing tactic.
It really is amazing how little we really need to be happy.
I was the happiest when I was travelling around the USA with a small bag (not evene back pack!)
I am on a mission to bring simplicity in all areas of my life – and am daring myselg to delete most of the 28,000 emails in my Outlook folder:-)
Would someone like to come and do it for me?!
.-= Arvind Devalia´s last blog ..Find Peace Today rather than One Day, Some Day! =-.
I like what Wayne Dyer says, and it goes something like this: if you think you are what you do, what you have, or what others think about you — and those things lessen — then you will think who your are will lessen. Attachment to having, doing, and reputation messes with happiness.
.-= Lori Hoeck´s last blog ..Distractions help movie heroes and self defense =-.
I LOVE this post. Happiness is always fleeting, no matter what we acquire or achieve. But the good news is, the less “clutter” we have, the more we can open up to the richness that life can offer.
Nice job Mary!
Dayne
.-= Dayne | TheHappySelf.com´s last blog ..How to Stop Procrastination…Now, Not Later. =-.
I’ve found it wasn’t until I had virtually no “stuff” that I could see what was truly important (and surprise, surprise, it wasn’t the stuff)!
.-= Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..World Domination & Pet Lemmings For All =-.
And then, there’s the mind of “giving”…
Great post Mary. Happiness has always been a state of mind. If you are not content, being the richest man on earth still wont make you happy. And that’s just bad because we all deserve to be happy, rich or poor.
.-= Karlil´s last blog ..Why I Wish I Were Dead And How To Overcome Suicidal Ideation =-.
@Mary, I appreciate your honesty & clarity. Your red shoes story touched my heart, esp. as I have a budding fashionista (2 yrs. old) at my house!
Leo’s 4 steps are awesome. I’m looking forward to reading more.
@Janice, your home transformation project sounds ambitious & wonderful. Look forward to hearing more about it.
warmly,
Marla
.-= Marla – The Relaxed Writer´s last blog ..Please Write. Now. =-.
Hi Mary,
A very thought provoking post. Anything that has a built in “expiration date” is good for marketing and selling. And most objects in our life have a short life span when we feel happy owning them.
I think the most effective way we can combat this is with awareness. Follow the curve of happiness/fulfillment from the moment we own the “object of our desire” to when it fades away. After watching the curve enough number of times, we learn to separate out the permanent from the transient.
Cheers,
Krishna
.-= Krishna´s last blog ..A common sense reason to try meditation =-.
Thanks for the insightful post, Mary. Indeed, contentment and gratitude are two important lessons to learn in life. Without them, life seems to be a ceaseless quest for one thing after another.
In fact, if we can just take sometime to be quiet and look within, we’ll discover that most of us already have everything that we ever need.
.-= The Conscious Life´s last blog ..50 Inspirational Quotes about Life =-.
lovely post mary,
I’ve recently read leo’s book and am also starting to become more of a minimalist – it’s so liberating to move from having to being
Thank you, Mary. These are all great reminders. I had red shoes too! Loved that story. One reason why it’s so powerful to be a minimalist is that in de-cluttering our spaces, bodies and minds … we regain our spirit. Once the clutter and distractions are minimized, they have less hold on the unlimited essence and vast potential of who we truly are. And that, as you say, is all about Being.
.-= Adrilia´s last blog ..Lessons in Life and Health from a Journey to Mexico =-.
Greetings I recently finished reading through your blog and I’m very impressed. I truly do have a couple questions for you personally however. Think you’re thinking about doing a follow-up putting up about this? Will you be gonna keep bringing up-to-date also?
Working as a yoga teacher, I am always being humbled as I learn to open, fold, strengthen and stretch a little more each day. I watch the world want more, eat more, buy more, desire more, and each week I have to look inside my own heart at the things I still covet, and try to let them go, learning that it is enough to Be with What Is.
Amanda
Amanda Hamilton´s last [type] ..Sun Power Yoga Half Day Retreat