By Janice Hunter of Sharing the Journey
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in. ~Robert Orben
Do you dream of a chill out holiday at the beach? Do you long to escape your daily routine and find happiness in an exotic place? So did I, but something happened…
Our oven is on its last legs. Two nights ago, it sighed warm breath over a pizza that took thirty five minutes to cook. I looked at my husband. He looked at me and we knew we had to tell the kids.
After we’d eaten, we asked them how they’d feel about not going away anywhere on holiday this year. We’d both accepted that it isn’t just the oven that needs replaced; two of the gas rings don’t work properly, some of our kitchen cabinets are beyond repair and some of the countertops are so old, they’re crumbling at the edges. We have maintenance work to do throughout the whole house.
I was poised, ready to explain to the kids that in the current economic climate, we may have to move house and ours needs to be in good repair – not just cosy and family friendly. We were ready to console them, to suggest a short break in October, day trips and lots of alternative plans and lists of exciting things to do. We waited.
My heart ached at the thought of our loved ones over in Greece, of the long conversations we have in the cooler evening air on their terraces and verandahs overlooking the sea. How they spoil the kids with gifts and favourite meals and ice creams while shaking their heads in disbelief at how much they’ve grown.
I thought of the long days we spend on the beach, laughing, playing simple ball games, dripping sea-wet hair onto magazines, puzzle books and holiday paperbacks, lying on beach towels and sandy loungers, smelling of suntan cream and summer.
I thought of reassuring rituals, quiet family times alone on jasmine scented balconies, playing Yahtzee and card games and strolling along the bustling seafront in the evening, choosing which noisy laughter-filled taverna to have a meal in.
I longed for a table beneath the stars, for bouzouki music and endless salads and village bread, and plate upon plate of mezedhes – tzatziki, wrinkled olives, aubergine and courgette fritters, tangy feta cheese and giant beans baked in a tomato, olive oil and herb sauce – all washed down with retsina from the barrel out back.
My teenage daughter responded first. “You know,” she said, “I’d love to just chill out at home for a change. I’m really tired.” My son agreed, told us how he longed to just sleep until he woke, with no thoughts of alarm clocks, school or after-school hobbies. They both went on to explain that they enjoy everything they do at school, but are bone-weary, tired of timetables and homework.
Stunned – relieved – I asked them if they’d miss Greece, swimming every day, eating out…
“I won’t miss airports,” said my son. “Or mosquitos,” said my daughter, “…or having to get up early to swim because we can’t go outside at mid-day when it’s too hot.”
My husband and I sat there, listening, as they made the perfect case for an at-home holiday, a staycation, talking of how they loved the idea of a few weeks on holiday here, savouring the things they have little time for during a busy school year; the books they wanted to catch up on, the songs my daughter planned to learn on her guitar and all the sleeping late they were longing to do in the damp, cool Scottish mornings.
“If it’s sunny,” said my son, looking at me, knowing what I love most about holidays, “we can drive to a Scottish beach. The waves sound the same.”
“We can go to Edinburgh or Glasgow,” said my daughter, who, like me, loves bustling crowds of foreigners as much as serenity and silence “We can pretend to be tourists, sit in cafés, go to galleries…”
I suddenly thought how much fun it would be to capture Edinburgh on camera, to send postcards of hills and lochs and castles to my friends abroad.
I thought how my daughter could play her guitar every day and my son could play football outside for as long as he liked without me worrying about sunstroke or dehydration.
I thought of all the unread books lying around waiting to be read, books I could enjoy after a day’s gardening or decorating, or on a Scottish beach, when I wasn’t gathering bits of driftwood or shells.
I thought how good it would be to get the house fixed, to get rid of all the tolerations and little jobs we’d been putting off. To gut the attic and create a cosy new kitchen. To have months and years of feeling ‘clean and clear’ for the price of a holiday in the sun.
I hadn’t realized we’d been focusing so much on the benefits of an annual holiday that we’d never given the kids the option of staying at home, had never encouraged them to talk about what they don’t like about going away. I hadn’t realised how much those few weeks in Greece keep me anchored in the past and how many weeks of my life I dream away, longing for a pre-arranged change of scene.
A change of scene begins with a change of thoughts.
We don’t always need new vistas; sometimes it’s enough to see what we already have with new eyes and be grateful. If we can’t be happy where we are, with what we have, how can we ever be truly happy somewhere else?
The next night, my husband came back from the supermarket carrying a bottle of retsina and the brand of ice cream the kids eat on holiday. “May as well start early,” he smiled.
Photo 1 by murplej@ne – brutally architorturedPhoto 2 by mnadiPhoto 3 by mnadi;
{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
Thank you once again Mary for opening the doors to your ‘home’ and letting me make myself at home at your kitchen table! I feel I can always be myself here.
I can see you had fun choosing the photographs for this one – my favourites are the doors! I have a collection of photos of Greek doors; there’s just something quintessentially Greek about them that speaks to me in symbols.
Some day, we’re going to have to get someone technical to figure out why your blog always gobbles up the html of my paragraphs, though! I appreciate the patience of everyone who reads these longish pieces and feels where my paragraphs originally were.
janice´s last blog ..Think Like a Black Belt
Thank you for your humble yet very inspiring story of your own experience on this “staycation.”
After I read your article, I just smiled and agreed on your “If we can’t be happy where we are, with what we have, how can we ever be truly happy somewhere else?”
Have a blessed moment
hank you, Nugdha. It began today – last day of school! My daughter’s been allowed to buy ice cream on her way home and the weather’s cleared up so I may just take my laptop outside and soak in some Scottish green-ness!
janice´s last blog ..Think Like a Black Belt
Janice, what a wonderful guest post! I really enjoyed reading it and the bolded line at the end is SO true. We don’t have to go away to be happy because happiness comes from within!
Positively Present´s last blog ..5 ways to leave your fingerprints on the world
@Positively present,
Thanks, Dani. I know you visit lots of blogs, so I do appreciate the time you spend reading my long pieces.
Really enjoyed your article.
My husband always tells me to appreciate what we have, and that the grass is NOT always greener on the other side.
Hi Janice,
Your post left me refreshed. My husband and I will have two full days to ourselves soon, and I was bummed we couldn’t make “more” of it. Your story reminds me of the fun we can have doing things locally we rarely do. I like the idea of playing tourist in my own hometown.
@E Thai
Thank you. We all need reminding, from time to time, of how lucky we are to have what we have. Today, I’m feeling lucky to be over at Mary’s place, reading lovely comments.
@Lori,
My staycation has started (yay!!)and so far, I’ve played hit-the-house-wall tennis on our front drive with my son, and chatted outside on the patio with my daughter and her friend, who are sitting in the sun spreading holiday chill already. Enjoy your break!
janice´s last blog ..Think Like a Black Belt
I feel the need to get away for something to feel like a vacation. No dishes, laundry, or neighbor kids.
I read/heard somewhere about a family that camped in their backyard instead of going on their usual camping holiday in order to save money. I thought that was a great way to still have a holiday without all the expense.
I recently posted about being a tourist where you live. It’s amazing what you can find right on your doorstep that is fun to do and doesn’t cost nearly as much as a holiday away.
Fabulous post. A great reminder you don’t have to look far to find what you need. Thank you.
Sami – Life, Laughs & Lemmings´s last blog ..A Week of Joy
@Barbara,
I’m hoping there’ll be enough day trips, picnics and meals out to cut down on the dishes! Who knows; maybe we’ll all crack and want to get away, after we’ve caught up on some rest and sleep, but I’m still feeling inspired by the idea of a holiday at home and a clear out.
janice´s last blog ..Think Like a Black Belt
@Sami,
Thanks, Sami. Camping in our garden is one of the things my son put on ‘the list’. We’re supposed to be having hot weather here this week, so this is the time to go for it!
My husband’s just told me the jasmine’s started blooming outside our kitchen door.
Quite a few of us choose not to go on vacations this year, I think, and this post reassures us that we can still refresh our families and our minds.
When the kids were younger it was easy to make a train ride into the city a great daylong holiday. Now, with a fresh attitude and a little bit of creativity any activity out of the ordinary can be a chance for a new perspective, extraordinariness, and rejuvenation.
Thanks for the post.
Kirk Fisher´s last blog ..Taking Your Place: Troth
@Kirk,
You’re welcome. What you said about creativity resonated with me. Not only does it make sense for us to use our time and money differently this year, but it’s triggered something creative in me. Because so many folk are staying home this summer, it’s good for the kids because they have friends to play or chill out with.
Thanks for this wonderfully written post. I’m always dreaming of exotic holidays but I never seem to have time to do all the little things I want to do around my house – have a spring clean, read the mountain of unread books, spend a whole day watching films without feeling like I should be doing something more productive, re-paving my backyard, spending quality time with my partner and our dogs…Especially right now, with economic woes and the flu epidemic, its a great idea to stay put for a vacation!
Jessica´s last blog ..Jun 21, Quick Health Tips
“Staycation”, that’s one term I’ll be keeping in mind!
JC´s last blog ..Know What Debt Collectors Can’t Do
@Jessica,
Thank you! Aren’t we just our own worst enemies when we should all over ourselves! I’ve turned a corner by realising I really want to get a lot of stuff done at home this summer.
@JC
Wish I could take credit; I only heard it used myself a few months ago.
janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home
Mr. Very Right and I had to make a similar decision: pour money into our house to make it exactly what we want, or take a nice trip each year. We didn’t have to debate this for very long. We both agreed that we were quite content to create our own piece of paradise right here at home. We figure that will take about 5 years, then we can travel … if we can bare to leave!
So, this Summer, as we work on outdoor renovations and landscaping, we sit in our hot tub each morning at 5:30 a.m. with an espresso and listen to the birds sing. After work we sit in our Adirondacks, sip a cool beverage, and share stories about each other’s day. Dinner is generally eaten around our turkish grill. And the evening ends the way our day began, back in our hot tub.
I’m all for staycations. It’s not where you are; it’s what you make of it.
Eliza´s last blog ..Understanding weight gain after 40
@ Eliza,
Now you’ve gone and blown my guest post. I want a holiday over at your place! (You’d have to clear out of the hot tub though…)
janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home
awwww…this was so sweet, janice. I remember reading years ago Kurt Vonnegut’s three things you had to have to be a writer. The two things I had I’ve forgotten, but the one thing I lacked I remember. It was a feeling of connection. You certainly have that. I sense that your connection with family is the wellspring of all you do. Good for you!
Brenda´s last blog ..Michael Jackson’s Essay
Love this last paragraph…. If everyone understands this truth .. life would be less complicated.
We don’t always need new vistas; sometimes it’s enough to see what we already have with new eyes and be grateful. If we can’t be happy where we are, with what we have, how can we ever be truly happy somewhere else?
zencontrol.net´s last blog ..Is Television acting like a slow poison for your relationship?
Thank you, Brenda. You’re spot on. They are a well spring; just like I need my writing to keep me sane, they are a daily, living reminder of why I’m here; to love, create, nurture and pass on the best of me. You know how we often talk about finding and following our bliss? Writing about my homelife and family is a large part of mine. Being able to connect with others through doing it is another huge piece of my life tapestry. That’s why I’ve never taken a single comment or email response for granted. The joy of hearing that someone has connected with something I’ve written never fades. That’s why I always try to respond to comments. Someone has taken the time not just to write, but to share a wee bit of themselves.
janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home
@Zencontrol
Thank you. I believe in the wisdom of that last paragraph, but like many folk, I often forget to put it into practice myself.
janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home
Are you sure you’re not a travel writer? After reading this, I was sooo hungry to go to both Greece and Scotland. You very adeptly capture the beauty and nostalgia of each place. This was thoroughly enjoyable reading.
The other thing that really stood out in this post was the enviable reaction your children had to receiving “disappointing” news. It is obvious that they have been able to internalize a lot of your life-coaching skills–especially that of being happy no matter what life serves up on a plate.What mature and thoughtful children you have–able to see the beauty in life, no matter what they are doing. Many adults never reach that phase. You must be so proud of them. I am too.
We thrive on staycations at our house.(I LOVE that word!) Since we have chosen to embrace frugality as a lifestyle so that I can be with my son, we’ve had to give up expensive trips. During the summer we designate Saturday as our vacation day, where we only go wherever we can get to and back in one day. (Our Vegas trip was reaaally pushing it–Whew!) We have had such lovely experiences doing that. There are so many free, delightful things to do right in our own backyards.
Another excellent, memorable post, Janice, one of your best IMHO. I am so glad that I subscribed to the Goodlife Zen email.
And I am so happy for the edit feature on comments! I forgot to say how absolutely gorgeous the pictures are that accompany this post. I understand we have Mary to thank for that? Totally complementary visuals.
Randi´s last blog ..Sunday Serenity 6-28-09
Thank you, Randi – you’ve said so many uplifting things, I don’t know where to start!
I felt like I’d come home the first moment I arrived in Greece to work there; a very strange sensation of déja vu.I have very,very intense memories of my years there, maybe because it intoxicated all of my senses.
Scotland I love for its fresh air, clean pure water and damp,green beauty; I love its rugged mountains, dark secretive lochs and bleak moors. I can be melancholy and sad here and the landscape sighs “I understand…” The beaches here smell of damp seaweed and the seagulls sing more hauntingly than anywhere else I’ve ever lived.
My kids, however take it all for granted, much the same as I did when I was growing up! They remember laughter and good times, no matter where they are.
I love how you decided to “embrace frugality” – what a positive phrase for it. We need to do more of that one-day holidaying, and now seems like the perfect time.
janice´s last blog ..Holidaying at Home