Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved ~William Jennings Bryan
We can become agents of change in all areas of life – and be happier for it.
That’s what psychological research tells us. But what if circumstances are so brutal that it seems impossible to effect change? What if we were imprisoned or tortured?
On September 25, 1942, Victor Frankl, a Viennese psychiatrist, was arrested and deported to the Theresienstadt concentration camp, together with his wife and parents. Here is what he said:
Most people in a concentration camp believed that the real opportunities of life had passed. Yet, in reality, there was an opportunity and a challenge. One could make a victory of those experiences, turning life into an inner triumph, or one could ignore the challenge and simply vegetate, as did a majority of the prisoners.
We who lived in concentration camps can remember those who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a person but the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances – to choose one’s own way. ~ Viktor Frankl
Viktor Frankl worked as a doctor in the camps and saved many lives. He also set up a mental health unit where he worked to prevent suicides. His family members perished in the camps. But Frankl survived against all odds, and went on to be on to be one of the great Viennese psychiatrists.
The ability to choose our destiny is due to the power of the mind.
In order to understand more fully how the mind can change reality – and to separate fact from hype – I’ve enrolled in a paper on Positive Psychology. Tal Ben-Shahar is running an online course through the University of Pennsylvania. (He’s the teacher who did a series of lectures on Positive Psychology at Harvard. The first week he had 40 students, the next 150 and then the class then quickly climbed to a record 800!)
The greatest discovery of my generation is that human beings can alter their lives by altering their attitudes of mind. ~ William James
I’ll be writing a series of posts on the power of the mind based on Tal Ben-Shahar’s course.
First I want to introduce the idea of self-efficacy, which means the power of producing an effect. The term was coined by psychologist Albert Bandura in 1994. You can find the link to his research article here. Bandura’s ideas and research results are crucial steps in understanding the power of the mind.
To believe in our self-efficacy means that we believe we have what it takes to succeed.
We don’t have to extraordinary in order to change not only our life but those of others. Ordinary people can become great agents of change. On December 1, 1955 an unknown seamstress changed the world by doing something very simple. She wouldn’t budge from her bus seat in Montgomery, Alabama. This was Rosa Parks, the ‘mother’ of the Civil Rights Movement. The law at that time said that a black person should give up their seat to a white person, but Rosa Parks staid sitting on her seat.
You don’t have to be a fantastic hero to do certain things. You can be just an ordinary chap, sufficiently motivated to reach challenging goals ~Edmund Hillary
What happens when we feel that our effort can make a difference?
That’s a very important question. Because life feels radically different, depending on whether you believe that you can make a difference by your effort, or whether you think that no matter what you do, nothing is going to change.
Please consider your life for a moment. Are there areas where you feel effective, and others where you don’t?
What would happen if you believed you have what it takes to effect change – even in the difficult areas of your life?
Self-trust is the essence of heroism. ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson
How do we create a feeling of effectiveness?
Bandura lays out four ways:
1. Success breeds success.
We create a sense of effectiveness by ‘mastery experiences’. What that means is that success builds a robust sense of effectiveness. And failure can undermine this confidence – especially if failure happens before a sense of self-efficacy is firmly established.
Bandura adds an interesting rider:
Early success is dangerous
If we experience only success at the start of an endeavor, we come to expect easy results and are discouraged by failure.
I think that’s true. In my eighteen years of martial arts training, I saw a lot of talented people come – and go. The ones who struggled and had to work hard at their success tended to stay.
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly.Robert F. Kennedy
2. Role-models can heighten belief in oneself
I’m sure we’ve all experienced that. The way we think about a good role-model is: “If he/she can do it, I can too!” The key to choosing a role-model is that we must be able to identify with her or him, otherwise their success doesn’t lift us up, it pulls us down.
3. Our self-belief grows when others encourage us
At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lit the flame within us. ~Albert Schweitzer
Bandura called this third way of strengthening people’s beliefs that they have what it takes to succeed: ‘social persuasion’. What we need in life is at least one person to believe in us.
How can we become that one person?
I am personally convinced that one person can be a change catalyst, a ‘transformer’ in any situation, any organization. Such an individual is yeast that can leaven an entire loaf. ~ Stephen Covey
Each of us can be a mentor, an encouraging parent, teacher, neighbor or friend!
We can give appreciation and encouragement freely – we are not diminished by this. If anything, we grow and become happier when we encourage others!
Thousand candles can be lit from just one candle; the life of the candle is not shortened. The Buddha
4. We can strengthen our self-belief when we learn to interpret emotional and physical reactions positively.
Imagine that you’re about to go on stage and address a packed hall. You are offstage but you can hear the audience. The lights are on and you are minutes away from walking up to the podium. By now you have butterflies in your stomach, your knees start to knock. Your mouth is dry and your pulse is racing. Right?
You can lift your performance through giving these symptoms a positive meaning. This is what Bandura means when he says that the interpretation we put on our emotional and physical responses is a factor in creating effectiveness.
For example, if you feel nervous about public speaking, you can change your self-talk. Instead of telling yourself, “Oh, I’m so nervous, I can’t do it!”, you can say to yourself, “Good! You’re keyed up. You need that in order to perform well.”
You cannot prevent the birds of worry and care from flying over your head. But you can stop them from building a nest in your head.
When we talk about the power of the mind, we are essentially talking about changing our habitual stories.
“Nothing I can do will make a difference” is a story. So is, “I know I’ve got what it takes.” One is passive and leads to suffering. The other has drive and can create happiness and success.
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In his comment on my post How to Learn (Almost) Anything and Feel Incredible Doing It, reader Kirk Fisher said:
All stories keep us from truly seeing our lives with openness. Would you agree?
I’m not sure. Maybe we always live by stories. Even the most exalted aspiration is nothing but a story. Maybe some stories are skillful, and others are not.
What do you think?
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{ 25 comments… read them below or add one }
I’m working on being an agent of change but I don’t think I’m quite there yet. This post is really inspiring!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..3 simple steps for conquering unhappiness =-.
What an awesome post! Covers so many important points, all of which I agree with. Interested readers might want to check out some related posts at the links below:
http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/03/01/never-be-defeated/
http://www.happinessinthisworld.com/2009/02/22/changing-poison-into-medicine/
Great overview of a lot of interesting ideas. It never ceases to inspire me thinking of how much of success is determined our mindsets. I especially like your tip about role models, that they can help you believe in your potential. I hadn’t really thought about that before, but it rings true from my experience as well. Thanks for the article.
.-= Tim woods´s last blog ..The Talent Myth: Essential Insights on Deliberate Practice =-.
I loved this post, Mary. It resonated very deeply. I’ve always been inspired by Frankl and recently, of her own accord, my daughter chose to do a talk on Rosa Parks for a school project. I was very proud of her, especially when she delivered her closing line: “Be brave enough to stand up for what’s right; it could just make a difference.”
In every one of my life roles, I genuinely believe in the power of all human beings to become agents of change. I’m not an extrovert or a great campaigning crusader, but I like to believe I can be a quiet power for good, lending a voice to those who feel their voices aren’t heard and supporting those who are destined to make a bigger difference than I can.
.-= janice´s last blog ..Transcendental Trolleys =-.
I strongly believe we can all be agents of change even in small ways. If you have enough people making a small change, a big result can ensue.
Inspiring article Mary. Thank you.
.-= Sami´s last blog ..Everyday Hero – Doing What it Takes =-.
Hi Mary! Great post as always
I find I resonate the most with numbers 1 and 4 – I reckon I’m a hopelessly optimistic person 99% of the time, thanks to enough successes in my life (and enough hard work), and thanks to learning some 6 or 7 years ago how to interpret painful emotions usefully (I think zen practice had some part in that!)
As a result I seem to be endlessly having conversations with certain close people in my life that love to say “oh, I can’t do…”, “this won’t work…”; while I’m there saying “no, you can! 99% chance it’ll be great!… take the adventure!”
I think it makes a difference to people. And it’s good practice for the other 1% of the time when I’m pessimistic or blue, and need to be my own role-model…
Hi Mary, Thank you for the link to Albert Bandura’s research article, which is just what I needed to read right now!
Hi Mary, great post, it makes a lot of sense to me. By the way I am really impressed by your Welcome Message video. I feel you have the ability to express yourself on different levels at the same time. I get more than just a welcome message. There’s something else between the words. A beautiful presence. : )
I love Frankl. I read “Man’s Search for Meaning” when I was 18 and the message of that book has stayed with me throughout the years.
I am a big believer that we all can be agents of change. I think the key is to recognize what our skills and talents are and use them to help make the world better.
In my journey, I have come to see that the people whom we consider to be our role models are a reflection of what we would like to be or feel we could be. So your second point was my favorite.
.-= Nadia – Happy Lotus´s last blog ..Misconceptions about Meditation =-.
Wow, I would have been afraid to cover such a big topic in a single post, but you’ve written this masterfully, Mary. I’m in awe.
Thanks for bringing back my question, at the end. I still feel that stories, no matter how enlightened, stand as focuses for our mind, and are helpful and necessary to being alive.
They are not, however, the full reality, and why I say that is that we should never trust them as full and open reality, comprehensive, or expressing the fullness of truth. Even the Buddha’s aspiration to end suffering…that’s transitional to his view of the morning star. Remember how he paced, afterwards, wondering ‘how can I express this?’ and ‘should I try?’
So I guess I am not saying that stories or aspirations are bad, but we should be aware of being caught in them. Yes? And then we are free.
I’d love to read more posts exploring this topic you’ve started here.
Hi Mary,
thanks for the link to Bandura’s article.
I think we need lots of people changing to living sustainably and humanly.
As to stories. I think there is a kind of ‘primary experience’ – the intake of breath when we see beauty, the indifference to mediocrity, the disappointment at our failure. These spontaneous responses are already interpreted (I see a beautiful or dull sunset – not a sunset that I then decide to see as beautiful or dull).
But then there are the bigger stories. I think with these it is important that they take account of our primary experiences – that they have room for thinking, feeling and our spiritual experiences. I think these stories often aren’t big enough – they don’t include all of who we are – let alone our own and other’s potential. So it can be useful to put effort into looking for experience that doesn’t fit into our current stories.
Hope I’m making sense to you. I think that they are all stories – but some stories are better than others.
.-= Evan´s last blog ..Living Authentically =-.
Hi Positively Present!
I think we can be agents of change in small ways:
Let’s say we want the world to be a more peaceful place. Well, we can start by being more peaceful in our life.
I always remind myself of the story of the guy walking on the beach. The beach is littered with starfish that have been washed up by the storm tide.
The guy throws them back into the sea one by one.
A woman walking her dog comes by and watches him for a moment. Then she says:
“What a waste of time trying to save the starfish. There are so many – you just can’t make a difference!”
The guy looks the woman, picks up a starfish and throws it into the sea. “Made a difference to him,” he says.
Hi Alex!
thanks for your links.
Hi Tim Woods!
Yes, role models are important. We have to remind ourselves that each one of us is a role model – whether we like it or not. Each time we act with integrity – that integrity spreads.
Hi Janice.
I love what you say: “I like to believe I can be a quiet power for good.”
Yes, “a quiet power for good” – I like it!
Hi Sami!
That’a neat way to see the power of synergy: “If you have enough people making a small change, a big result can ensue.”
Hi Mete!
What an interesting idea that we can be our own role models! When we feel down we can remind ourselves of our previous skillful actions.
Hi Julie!
I’m glad that the Bandura article was what you needed.
I love his ideas. But the way he write is terribly obscure. It’s so rare to find academics who can actually WRITE…
Hi Nadia!
You say, “I think the key is to recognize what our skills and talents are and use them to help make the world better.” Great stuff!
Hi Nicholas!
I’m glad you like my welcome video. I enjoyed making it but I wasn’t sure if people would like it. Great to get some feedback!
Hi Kirk!
I must admit this post took some writing… Some posts just write themselves but this one just wouldn’t sit down and be quiet.
If the others of this series are just as difficult, I’m in for a hard time…eeek!
As to stories – I agree with what you say. They are important – but as you say so eloquently, “They are not, however, the full reality, and why I say that is that we should never trust them as full and open reality, comprehensive, or expressing the fullness of truth.”
And still…I have an open mind about the value or otherwise of stories. I look forward to your guest post – maybe some more clarity about stories will emerge.
[Everyone - I've asked Kirk to write a guest post for us. You'll see- he's really something!]
Hi Evan!
Lovely comment full of interesting ideas! I was wondering about the ‘primary experience’ that you describe so eloquently: “the intake of breath
when we see beauty.”
I’m wondering whether that sudden intake of breath that signals surprise and awe happens BEFORE we make up a story about the experience. That is, BEFORE we tell ourselves that the sunset is ‘magnificent’ or ‘dull’.
Those evaluations seem to me to be a ‘secondary experience’.
What do you think, Evan?
Hi Mary,
My guess is that there are spontaneous experiences that happen before we make up stories.
I suppose you could say that our spontaneous reactions are shaped by our previous experience and so influenced by our story. But at the time they are spontaneous I think.
It is possible (though perhaps not desirable) to view everything indifferently but this takes intense training (and I’m not sure would be desirable if possible).
This is my take on things. Does it make sense to you or do you experience things differently to this?
.-= Evan´s last blog ..Living Authentically =-.
Good articles~
I suggest Mary to introduce more information about Positive Psychology.
Very lovely and motivating post. It raises hope that anyone can bring change in this society in small or big way. Gandhi was a pretty introvert and shy person , but once he took a stand and realized he can change the world – that resulted in Gandhism.
.-= zencontrol.net´s last blog ..Is Television acting like a slow poison for your relationship? =-.