By Mary Jaksch
Is optimism always the best strategy? Or has pessimism also got its place?
There are times when it’s natural to feel low: you don’t get the job you want or lose the one you love; you’re forced to sell your home; you lose a loved one; you let go of a dream.
Yes, loss makes us feel low.
When we experience loss, we feel sad and helpless. We lose interest in food, company and sex. Feeling low is a temporary condition. Human beings have a capacity for healing, and low feeling will leave us as we adapt to our changing circumstances.
We can get stuck in feeling low. That’s when we suffer from depression.
The good news is that you can do something about it, according to Professor Martin Seligman.
Seligman has coined two key terms, ‘learned helplessness’ and ‘explanatory style’. ‘Learned helplessness’ when we want to quit because we believe that whatever we do doesn’t matter. The ‘explanatory style’ is the way we explain to ourselves why events happen. The explanatory style can either be optimistic – which stops helplessness. Or it can be pessimistic – which spreads helplessness.
According to Seligman, depression is caused by “…by defeat, failure, and loss and the consequent belief that any action taken will be futile.” He continues:
“How you think about your problems, including depression itself, will either relieve depression or aggravate it.”
Depression and pessimism are closely related.
When we are in a pessimistic state, we are going through a mild version of depression.
We know that optimists achieve more, have better physical health, and feel happier. So, shouldn’t we strive to be optimistic all the time?
Maybe. But let’s not forget that pessimism has an important virtue: it supports a keen view of reality.
I think there is a way that we can be realists, AND have a useful view of reality.
Flexible optimism is a key skill
Flexible optimism isn’t a blanket upbeat state that you apply blindly – it is a way to have control over the way we think about adversity.
Let’s take an example:
You’re driving in the rain and have got onto the wrong side of the motorway. Not good!
If you are a full-blown optimist, you might think, “Oh – look at all these cars coming toward me. They’re all driving on the wrong side of the motorway!!”
If you are a pessimist you’ll see all the cars rushing towards you, freeze and think, “Wow, I’m doomed. I’m going to die any moment!”
As a flexible optimist you might think, “Uh-oh – I’ve made a bad mistake. I’ll quickly get over onto the verge in order to avoid these cars.”
I’m sure you can see that an attitude of flexible optimism is your best chance of survival in this scenario!
Seligman makes some interesting suggestions about when optimism is an advantage, as well pointing out some situations when optimism is not a useful strategy.
Optimism is a great strategy if…
- You want to achieve something
- You want to boost your morale
- If your physical health is at stake
- If you want to lead others
Optimism is a poor strategy if…
- You are planning for an uncertain future
- You are supporting others whose future is dim or who are troubled
Maybe you don’t agree with that last point?
Imagine this scenario: Arlena, a woman in her forties has lost her job, and finds out that she has cancer. She confides in her colleague Susan – who is a full-on optimist. This is what the conversation might look like:
“I’m so gutted. I just lost my job,” says Arlena.
“Oh, that may free you up to what you REALLY want to do.”
“But I’ve got to pay my rent!”
“I’m sure you’ll find a new job tomorrow!”
“I just can’t cope, because I’m worried that I’ve got cancer”
“You just need to be positive and believe that you’ll be alright.”
If you were Arlena, wouldn’t you want to get rid of Susan as quickly as possible? I would!
Both optimism and pessimism are both useful strategies at times. I use the word ‘strategy’ because it implies that we can learn to choose one or the other mindset.
Flexible optimism can enable us to be realistic, as well as hopeful.
I’ll explore flexible optimism in my next post and talk about exactly how pessimists can learn to be more optimistic. That is, I’ll show in detail how each one of us can learn to be in control over the way we think about adversity.
In the meantime let me ask you two questions: Is it always skilful to be optimistic, or not?
Enjoy these related posts:
The Three Dimensions of Optimism
Good, Better, Perfect? How to Escape the Trap of Perfectionism
Are You an All-or-Nothing Person? Here’s How to Change
Photo by Conor Lawless
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The only optimism you need is to believe that you are capable of anything you decide to do regardless of external factors.
The external world is what it is, work with it don’t interpret it too much.
I have to agree with Jarrod on this one. Also, I’m not sure your example really makes sense, I’m sure 99% of people, whether they define themselves as optimistic or not, would try to get back into their normal lane.
I would love some more examples to clarify.
Cheers,
Glen
Glen Allsopps last blog post..Personal Development Face-Off: Round #7
Hiya
Interesting post. Good points from the previous commentators too. Optimism is a ‘big’ attitude in that it encompasses so much.
Optimism is rooted in reality and best grown by being nurtured from it.
For example: I’m optimistic the sun will shine tomorrow because it has for every day of my life, so far. I’m also optimistic in achieveing whatever goals I have when I see the results of each step, however small.
Dabbling in too much fantasy and ignoring whats really happening around (as in your example of Arlena and Susan disconnecting from lack of empathy) just leads to problems.
Thanks for the article it’s got me pondering!
Jens
Jens Uptons last blog post..Reflections on Appreciation part 3
Hi Mary,
Whether it’s skillful to be optimistic or not probably depends on what optimism means to you. Some describe optimism as an irrational belief in good outcomes. I’d just call it a non-fear-based approach to assessing a situation.
I suppose optimism can be totally out to lunch, depending on who you are, but I’d say for the most part it is a more intelligent approach.
David Cains last blog post..Do Something
Mary,
I really like Martin Seligman’s work!
I prefer to be optimistic, but I’ve found pessimism somewhat useful in project management. It helps me anticipate what might go wrong and reduce the probability or impact.
Roger – A Content Lifes last blog post..12 Happiness Activities – Part 1
Wow! This is great. I try as hard as I can to be optimistic, but sometimes it just isn’t fitting. This is really such an interesting article. I’m going to post it on Twitter!
Positively Presents last blog post..things to make (other than money)
This article got me thinking, as did the comments, about whether or not I’m even comfortable seeing the world in terms of optimism and pessimism any more. I’ve decided I’m not; too many grey areas, although I did like the emphasis in your previous article on the permanent and temporary aspects of our positive or negative thinking.
I see a universe full of unlimited potential and human beings full of boundless possibilities. It’s about the choices we make every second, about choosing a life of love, creativity, gratitude, forgiveness and spiritual evolution, or a life of fear, sterility, regret and blame. The quality of the choice we make this very moment determines the kind of life we’re having.
Janices last blog post..Re-invention 101 and a Special Book Launch Giveaway
I’ve been thinking about this. I’m concerned that ‘optimism’ is being branded as a naturally good thing, but excessive optimism is probably just as damaging as excessive pessimism. We tend label chronic pesimism as depression, but there is no ‘handy’ label for chronic optimism – unless you want to press ‘manic behaviour’ into use.
Although I am not a Zen person, I suspect that chronic pesimism and chronic optimism (depression and mania) are the result and cause of too much attachment. Too much attachement leads to suffering…
I guess everyone will be different, and probably different again at other times of their lives. I’m currently working on being content, with a mild optimism (self confidence) that I can address any future lumpy bits of life.
Your mileage may, of course, vary.
Hi Mary,
Your point that optimism can be taken to extremes in which you ignore the seriousness of the problem facing you is excellent. And I’m in complete agreement with Seligman about the cause of depression and actually took his argument one more step in a post called “The True Cause Of Depression” on my own blog. Interested readers might want to check it out. Thanks for the thoughtful post!
Alex @ Happiness in this Worlds last blog post..The Good Guy Contract
Seligman is wrong and misleading. I have two decades of depression/anxiety behind me, and I can say with certainty that depression has nothing to do with pessimism. Depression is an organic dysfunction, and psychologically, it’s rage turned inward, and it is a stuck pattern.
When we read about optimism, positivity and all the rest, we nod our heads, and say, yes, this is true, I’ll start being optimistic. In my experience, this has not worked for anyone–literally anyone. All it can lead to is the feeling that I can’t even succeed at being optimistic.
There is no question optimistic people are happier. But to tell people to optimistic is like saying that if you want to be wealthy, you should have money.
Pretending to be optimistic or pessimistic does not work; and the entire question goes away when we can let go and be present. Don’t pretend to be optimistic. Just let go of the angst.
Kaushiks last blog post..Ripening – Are you ready to awaken? – 2nd ebook excerpt Awakening is Simple -
Kaushik,
As someone who’s spent 15 years treating anxiety and depression, I would absolutely agree with you that the world of depression is the world of rage against oneself–for feeling powerless. Optimism in my view is more a RESULT of being happy than its cause, and when you’re depressed just DECIDING to be optimistic is nearly impossible. Saying that depression is an “organ dysfunction,” however, suggests that it’s purely organic and is only looking at depression from one angle. I do agree again though that telling someone to simply DECIDE to become happy when depressed isn’t helpful, useful, or workable. Some kind of technique or practice is typically required, and is in fact the reason I practice Nichiren Buddhism. Anti-depressants are great for treating the symptoms of depression, but don’t begin to address its true cause.
Alex @ Happiness in this Worlds last blog post..The Good Guy Contract
Hi Alex,
Thanks for your comment, and we agree: anti-depressants are fine, but they treat the symptoms only. Buddhism, awakening, awareness, release are fundamental solutions.
Mental trickery, like pretending to be positive or optimistic, doesn’t work; however, for those who resonate with cognitive solutions, there is CBT, Byron Katie’s The Work, and so on.
But it’s important to recognize the organic, biochemical or physiological component of depression. I am not saying there is a cause-and-effect; however, it clearly is a component. Depression is still a disease of stigma; recognizing the physiological component can help people who don’t have personal experience with depression understand why depressives can’t simply “snap out of it.”
Kaushiks last blog post..Exit the world of fear and sadness – 3rd ebook excerpt Awakening is Simple
I enjoyed this post alot. I think finding this balance is so important for a lot of people. Most of my self help junkie friends have an almost religious sense of optimism that can really easily alienate people who are experiencing real suffering. Sometimes it takes a bit more than just looking on the bright side. Thanks for this.
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Thanks for this post. One thing I’d add is that it’s possible to acknowledge that we’ve made a mistake, like the driver in your example, without blaming or ceasing to love ourselves. It’s the difference between saying “oh, oops, I guess I’ll get back on the other side of the road,” and saying “oh, I’m such an idiot for doing this, why do I always do such stupid things.”
This is an interesting take on optimism vs pessimism. I’d never really thought about choosing between the two as a strategy. I’ve always assumed it’s better to always be optimistic.
When I think about it though, I would rather be optimistic but with a realist/empathetic view for every situation rather than temporarily pessimistic. Maybe it’s just semantics and we’re actually saying the same thing. If you’re an optimistic realist you can have empathy when needed (eg not alienating someone who’s going through something tough with your “stay positive” comments) whilst not losing your overall optimism.
Samis last blog post..How I Built a Daisy List & Why – Part 1
Wow! What fantastic comments!
I was struck by David Cain’s interpretation of optimism:
“A non-fear-based approach to assessing a situation.”
I agree that the terms ‘pessimism’and ‘optimism’ and are too black and white.
The reality is that what shapes our life are the moment to moment decisions and judgments that we make.
The problem is that these judgments are often habitual, and clouded by fear or hope.
I never thought of flexible optimism before, but I like it. I don’t believe I can fly to pluto and I’m ok with that. I do believe that I can build a popular blog that helps a lot of people work happier.
We have to know our strengths and not try to do everything. If we over do it, we’ll just burn out and nothing great is accomplished.
Karl Staib – Work Happy Nows last blog post..Daily Body Scan
Excellent post. Flesible optimissm is a nice term to remember. Some people mistake optimism for foolishness.
Anthonys last blog post..Arizona jobs
Hi everyone!
I noticed today that many proverbs take the position of flexible optimism.
For example:
“A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
Or the Russian version:
“A titmouse in the hand is better than a crane in the sky.”
Or do you think that’s pessimistic?
This is a thought-provoking post, Mary, as are the comments.
I have discovered and observed that optimism and pessimism are simply natural occurrences that, when self-manufactured, are often self-defeating.
If, however, optimism and pessimism are simply “allowed to happen,” the natural course of them leads to a better place.
For example, if one becomes aware of their own pessimism, the healthiest course to take is not to self-manufactured optimism — it is to allow pessimism to run its course.
“The resistance to the unpleasant situation is the root of suffering.” ~ Ram Dass
Kent @ The Financial Philosophers last blog post..De-bunking the Case for Hyper-Inflation
Have to say this post really intrigued me! According to CBT Pessimism and optimisim are often borne from beliefs we have about ourselves – our adequacy being a prime factor. These beleifs are generated from childhood – e.g., we feel adequate about ourselves as we did well at school or recieved constant praise – this allowed us to believe that the future is likely to be good.
However, if we tried in childhood but never quite met others expectations (note – others) then we may generate an assocaition between trying and failing. This naturally leaves us feeling pessimistic about the future as there’s not much we can do to change it.
Interstingly though, both pessimism and optimism can be very useful. Some of us can feel more comfortable being one rather than the other. This comfort brings a reduction in anxiety with neuropsychological and neuroimaging studies indicating this allows more resouces to the frontal lobes, benefitting things such as problem solving and planning.
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