How to find Meaning in Tough Times

A guest post by Kent Thune of The Financial Philosopher

Why is this happening to me?  When will this end?

Have you ever asked yourself questions like these?  Are you asking them now?  If so, do you give yourself an answer?

Ultimately, man should not ask what the meaning of his life is, but rather he must recognize that it is he who is asked. ~ Viktor Frankl

Being a financial advisor by trade, I am hearing many questions now about the cause of the global economic crisis.  Why did this happen?  When will it end?  How can I ever recover from this?

Rather than searching for a cause of a particular challenge you are facing, and rather than dwelling on how it has impacted you negatively, try resisting the desire to find answers outside of yourself and ask yourself the questions.

In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice. ~ Viktor Frankl

Not only should you ask yourself the questions, but you may help yourself more by framing questions in such a way that may inspire an answer from within yourself.  I will use personal finance and investing as examples, but the framework fits any particular problem or challenge that may be causing some degree of suffering for you at this time.

Attach Meaning to Your Suffering
Ask yourself, “How can I make this negative event meaningful?”  Attaching meaning to suffering is a wonderful and therapeutic tool for moving beyond negative events in your life.  In context of personal finance, perhaps you have lost a job or the value of your investments has been cut in half.  Perhaps the job loss or decline in investment value is providing a life-changing lesson that money has become too high of a priority for you?

Suffering as a Sacrifice
Ask yourself, “What would I sacrifice for this loss?”  In context of personal finance, you might ask yourself, “If I could find true meaning and long-term contentment in my life, would I sacrifice material wealth to obtain that meaning and contentment?”  Perhaps your financial “loss” has given you the opportunity to answer this question for yourself?  Perhaps financial pursuits limited your meaningful pursuits?  Could money and your pursuit of it become the sacrifice for find true meaning and purpose in your life?

When we are no longer able to change a situation – we are challenged to change ourselves. ~ Viktor Frankl

Change From Within
Ask yourself, “Do I have a choice?”  Suffering or mourning a loss can have its own therapeutic value; however, the event that caused the suffering becomes meaningless and your suffering will continue without the awareness of your choice to move beyond the suffering – to change yourself.  Similar events occurring in the future will also cause more suffering without learning this lesson.  For example, it is a common misconception that the outside event beyond one’s control, such as the global financial crisis, must end before one’s suffering can end.  This is not true.  One’s suffering ends when one decides it will end – it is not the event that must change, it is your perception of it and your attitude toward it.

Start Over
Ask yourself, “What can I learn from this?”  Life is full of second chances and often a shock or dramatic event is necessary to change your path for the better.  Suffering is your opportunity to grow and move beyond the negativity – to survive – to become a better person.

Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for. ~ Viktor Frankl

You may have noticed that all of the supporting quotes in this post are from Viktor Frankl, author of the tremendously inspiring book, Man’s Search for Meaning, which has sold over 10 million copies in 24 languages and has been called one of the 10 most influential books of all time.  Frankl was a Holocaust survivor who would later become known for his brand of psychotherapy, called logotherapy, which is based upon the attachment of meaning to suffering.

Frankl observed in the concentration camps, that those who could find some meaning and purpose to live – even in the most horrific and hopeless of circumstances – had a vastly higher survival rate than those who had understandably lost all hope or any reason to live.

Go back and read Frankl’s quotes in this post again.  Do they have more impact for you knowing that the author of the quotes is a survivor of the Holocaust – a person who would become a successful psychotherapist and a profoundly influential author?  Do you believe, if he can survive tremendous tragedy, that you can survive yours?

What’s more, the world needs you and what you have to offer.  What if Viktor Frankl had given up hope and died in the concentration camps?

I would love to know how you are finding meaning amidst the current financial crisis or any other crisis that has caused (or is still causing) some degree of suffering for you.  What did you do to move beyond the suffering?  How can others learn from your lesson and how might they learn from their own?

If you enjoyed this article, please visit Kent Thune’s blog The Financial Philosopher

Read this related post:
What is the Meaning of Life?

Photo by Natashalatrasha

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В условиях кризиса инвестируйте в себя | В кризисе
May 5, 2009 at 4:16 pm

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Roger - A Content Life May 2, 2009 at 1:02 am

Kent,

A timely post for our difficult economy!

I think another thing that can help with suffering to to realize that many others are suffering as well. If you can feel empathy for the other people suffering, you realize that we are all in this together.

Roger – A Content Lifes last blog post..Your Mindful Eating Mission

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 2, 2009 at 1:25 am

Yes, Roger, one can find comfort in the knowledge that they are not alone. To extend upon your thought, I would add that it is quite healthy to recognize that there is a natural cycle for everything, whether it be the economy or something more personal.

“The world is so constructed, that if you wish to enjoy its pleasures, you also must endure its pains.” ~ Swami Brahmananda

Thanks for the comment, Roger, and a special thanks to Mary for welcoming me as your “guest writer” today!

janice May 2, 2009 at 1:34 am

Thank you Kent (and Mary) for this lovely post. I was chatting with a friend just a few days ago about this book’s relevance to the current global situation. One of the biggest questions we can ever ask is “How can I serve?” There is always some kind of perfection in every situation; all we have to do is be willing to search for the meaning, live the questions and be open to finding the answers in the most unexpected of places. Thank you for reminding us.

janices last blog post..Finding Your Voice in the Silence

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 2, 2009 at 1:55 am

Thanks, Janice. Being an investment adviser and financial planner, I am thankful to have been a guide and counsel for my clients. This privilege to serve others in tough times has made my own challenges quite meaningful and fulfilling.

Here’s more from Frankl on this:

“Don’t aim at success. The more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you will miss it. For success, like happiness, can not be pursued; and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it. I want you to listen to what your conscience commands you to do and go on to carry it out to the best of your knowledge. Then you will live to see — in the long run, I say! — success will follow you precisely because you had forgotten to think of it.” ~ Viktor Frankl

Jens Upton May 2, 2009 at 2:32 am

Hiya

A useful post for me, offering space to reflect on my attitude to money and happiness. Enjoying reading the insights of Viktor Frankl too. Profound stuff, which recognises meaning and change come from within and are reflected back to us by our environments.

Thanks
Jens

Geetha May 2, 2009 at 5:17 am

Timely post and direct thanks to Mr Kent and indirect to Mary. It reminded me of the insight which says “Suffering brings forth valuable lesson” and ofcourse the understanding of meaning behind suffering brings out the best in us equipping us to move on and reach a wholesome state.

Positively Present May 2, 2009 at 6:55 am

I love the idea of changing from within. It’s always very difficult but it’s always wonderful when you can change your attitude toward a difficult situation.

Positively Presents last blog post..love your sibling, love yourself

Nadia - Happy Lotus May 2, 2009 at 8:23 am

Hi Kent,

Viktor Frankl’s book is one of the best books ever. I am so happy that you mentioned it because it is a great example of finding a way to endure a very tough situation without it destroying your soul. :)

Nadia – Happy Lotuss last blog post..Defending Your Life

Tess The Bold Life May 2, 2009 at 9:24 am

That book is a life-changer. No fluff involved!

I read it 25 years ago and it changed my view of life and the human spirit.

My husband lost his job Monday and it’s easy to get into fear. We are certainly not “suffering.”

If you haven’t read his book “Night” I would go get a copy of it today. Thanks Kent and Mary.

Mete May 2, 2009 at 12:02 pm

Hi Kent, thanks for a great post, your writing always really resonates with me somewhere! This is important stuff! Transforming suffering is, surely, the highest function of human abilities, which your words (and Viktor’s) remind me of nicely :)

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 2, 2009 at 12:07 pm

@ Jens & Positively Present: Yes, personal change certainly must come from within, even as external forces will change the environment.

@ Geetha: I always say that mistakes and negative experiences are opportunities for growth. If we do not accept transience, we cannot grow.

@ Nadia & Tess: I’ve read “Man’s Search for Meaning” several times. It’s usefulness and value changes as my life changes.

Thanks to all for the wonderful comments!

Kent

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 2, 2009 at 12:08 pm

Thanks, Mete! It’s great to hear from you.

Cheers…

Marc and Angel Hack Life May 2, 2009 at 1:21 pm

Changing within is always easier said than done… but this a great article. ;-)

Tweeted.

kim May 3, 2009 at 12:55 am

Hi!
I recently found this website and I really love it!

This article is about the things that were and are in my mind a lot.

Normally I am an really active and busy person. I’m studying for musician but I also love to practise Hapkido. If you want to achieve something in any of those two things, practise is the keyword. So I practise a lot. Music is my study and I used to love it but Hapkido is beginning to become more and more important for me.
My study became to feel a kind of obligated, ’cause I wanted this all my life and now I’m there, kind of.. So now I have to work hard. But actually I liked the sporting more.

5 weeks ago I broke my leg with jumping on a trampoline. It is and was a complete disaster for me.. Being dependent from my parents.. And not allowed to sport or walk.
The first 2 weeks were a complete disaster. I kept thinking how terrible this situation was.. But when you don’t have a lot to do, there’s time to think!Eventually I thought I would be better to see the bright sight of it.. And I did and I feel much better now. I wrote down 100 reasons why I would be good to have a broken leg.
Looking in a positive way is much better! Sometimes it’s still really difficult.. and sometimes I feel sad, but then I think of the things I achieved in this last weeks. And I like it!

Now I have to wait one week before I go the hospital and the gypsum will be removed I hope.. Because I really like to know if this situation changed my way of life..

Marc and Angel Hack Life May 4, 2009 at 5:12 am

Lovely article. It’s important shed our old skin and move on in the face of failure and tough times.

This article captured that advice perfectly.

Sami May 4, 2009 at 7:55 pm

Great post Kent. My greatest lessons were learnt through my greatest suffering – divorce. As painful as it was, I’m grateful it happened. I’m a better person for it and have a better life too.

Samis last blog post..Monday Funny – DIY The New Zealand Way

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 5, 2009 at 3:07 am

Marc & Angel: You are absolutely correct — change from within, as you say, is “easier said than done.”

Lasting change takes many steps, yet each one of these steps are part of the overall journey that one chooses. Change from within begins with the mind and spirit — the way one thinks or perceives…

“As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” ~ Henry David Thoreau

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 5, 2009 at 3:11 am

Kim: Thanks for the comment. This post, as you may know, is a “guest post” I wrote for GoodLife ZEN, which is one of my favorite blogs! You and I are both fortunate to have found this blog!

I hope to hear from you at my blog at http://www.TheFinancialPhilosopher.com

Cheers…

Kent

Kent @ The Financial Philosopher May 5, 2009 at 3:21 am

Sami: Tragedy and suffering can certainly provide an opportunity for growth and cleansing. Everything has its own natural cycle, whether it is the economy, stock market, personal relationships or life itself. The ebbs and flows are part of the cycle and part of the balance of nature…

“If we had not winter, the spring would not be so pleasant; if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.” ~ Anne Bradstreet

Thanks for the comment…

Kent

Jonathan Daniel May 28, 2009 at 6:26 pm

Being a Christian, I alway ask myself “How is God going to get the glory out of this situation?” A lot of times, there may be no nogical means of me working out the situation myself, and my way out is usually a way that I can take no credit for. I think situations of this nature are utilized by God so that his glory and power can be shown.

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