Photo by carf
By Mary Jaksch
Would you be willing to give the shirt off your back?
No?
Sometimes giving isn’t all that easy
Why that is, I’ll explore below. But first let me ask you a question:
Do you feel that something extraordinary is happening to our society in this economic melt-down? It seems to me that this meltdown spells out the end of the consumer society.
We are on the verge of something new: the sharing society
Looking after Number One isn’t a strategy that works anymore. Because the only way to survive this financial crisis is to share resources.
Reciprocity is the key to abundance
By reciprocity I mean the interflow of giving and receiving.
I live in New Zealand, and the people of European descent like me can learn a lot about generosity from Maori culture. Maoris have a beautiful custom called koha, or gift. When you are invited to a marae (a meeting house), you are invited to share food and will receive a heartfelt welcome. In return you are expected to reciprocate with a koha. In olden days a koha might have been food, or a waitata (song). These days, the gift is usually money discretely tucked into an envelope.
I read that Native Americans also have customs of natural charity expressed in circulating gifts.
With this interplay of giving and receiving everyone prospers!
A Zen perspective on giving
Some two thousand years ago, Buddhism developed a teaching on how to life one’s life, called Paramitas, or Perfections. These Perfections are aspirations by which to live. They include such aspects as morality, tolerance, vitality, and so on.
The interesting point is that the first and foundational Perfection is dana, the spirit and practice of generosity. The reason why it is the foundation of all other aspirations is that the concerns for the self are forgotten in the act of giving. In the moment of generosity we embody a universal truth: that we are all interconnected.
Giving is good karma
The great Japanese Zen master Dogen said:
One should give even a single coin or a single blade of grass – it causes roots of goodness in this age and other ages to sprout.
Yes – generous action causes the roots of goodness to sprout. What a wonderful way to see the good karma of generosity!
Of course the opposite holds true as well. The bad karma of stinginess makes our resources dwindle and our life become small and tight.
Yes, each act of giving causes roots of goodness to sprout. But – what triggered the act of giving in the first place?
In a comment to my post called The Lost Art of Giving, reader Claudio Alegre asked: “Do you ever wonder what it is that makes us give?”
I sent Claudio’s question out as a Twitter a few days ago and got this reply: “I don’t know why it is in our nature to give, but that is my experience when deeply in touch with myself.” This reply implies something very interesting:
Generosity is our natural state of being
When we are generous and free in our giving, we are in deeply touch with ourselves. At that moment we touch our highest human potential.
If that’s true, why aren’t we always generous?
What are the barriers to generosity?
I had an interesting experience a couple of months ago that showed me what hinders me from being generous. I was in a planning meeting with Deb Moran, the Retreat Administrator for the Virtual Zen Retreats. We were discussing the format for AWARENESS: THE MIRACLE OF NOW, our first world-wide Virtual Zen Retreat due to start at the end of this week.
We were talking about setting a price for the retreat. Suddenly Deb looked me straight in the eye and said,
“The virtual retreat should be by donation so that everyone can participate!”
“Good idea!” I responded.
Then I hesitated and stammered, “But – but…”
I was thinking about all the weeks and months of work that were going into creating this virtual retreat. At the time I couldn’t quite see my barrier to generosity. Now it’s a lot clearer:
My barrier to generosity is fear
- Fear that others won’t reciprocate
- Fear that my resources are limited
- Fear that I might be conned
Do you suffer from those fears too?
Deb finally won the day. We decided to offer the upcoming Virtual Zen Retreat by donation, and I was happy to have overcome my barrier to generosity.
I feel that our decision to offer the Virtual Zen Retreat by donation is in line with the paradigm shift towards a sharing society. That feels exciting (and just a little bit scary too…)
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
I am loving the work you are doing, Mary!
Thank you!
blessings and continued inspiration,
CG
CG Walterss last blog post..CelebraZine 13Feb09
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I lived in New Zealand for almost two years. I am very keen to the Maori culture and their history.
Generosity is life-changing to say the least. By being the change we wish to see, we give consciousness the abilities to perceive something new. Consciousness always loops back onto itself in a never-ending circle of what is being perceived. You keep perceiving what you are getting but you only get what you consciousness can perceive. Therefore the only way to perceive something else is to give what you wish to perceive, since what you give is what you will receive and what you receive is what your consciousness will perceive. For example, give unconditional love and your consciousness will perceive that there is unconditional love to give and in that act the consciousness will perceive that it received unconditional love. Once this happens then your consciousness loops back onto itself with unconditional love in all that it perceives.
Another example, let us say you buy a car that you consider unique; you get your license plates and memorize the numbers and/or letters. All of sudden you are made aware that the car you bought is everywhere and you start to notice that the license plate numbers and/or letters are everywhere as well. Through this example it is easy to perceive that you are only made aware of what you feed your consciousness and what you feed your consciousness is what you will receive. Your consciousness is infinite vast and it is receiving infinite vastness but the only way to be made aware and perceive what you are receiving in your experience is to consciously give your consciousness that which you wish to receive.
In other words, give what you wish to receive and your consciousness will see that there is plenty to give. Even if there is nothing to give, if you find a way to give then you will attract in your life more of what you give.
Fantastic article!
Nicholas Powiulls last blog post..Powiull Sleep Day 10-11 (Adopting Powiull Sleep: Different Methods): by Nicholas Powiull
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I completely agree. Theoretically I love to give. Not just theoretically, I consider myself a somewhat generous person. However, if generosity is required at a time I am feeling a bit of lack, I get scared. This post reminds me to transcend my fear and give anyway. Thank you.
Clint Stonebrakers last blog post..Walt Disney World and Relationships
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Great post Mary,
Our society is suffering from the selfishness of consumerism. It is time to practice generosity.
I believe the fear of generosity can be overcome when we realize that by giving, we do more for ourselves than we do for those we are helping. Even if our gift were to be rejected or not appreciated, it doesn’t matter. The fact that we gave unconditionally will add to our own spiritual treasures.
Jesus taught that we should give secretly and we will be rewarded openly many times over.
It’s the thought that counts.
Chad Prigmores last blog post..17 X 365 = 6,205
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Hi CG!
My inspiration is fostered by the support of people like you who comment regularly. It’s like walking a long road and finding others are walking with you.
Thank you CG!
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Hi Nicholas!
Thanks for the very interesting comment. You’re really describing how a paradigm shift happens.
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Hi Clint!
I’m glad you too have the fears that arise with generosity!
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Hi Chad!
I like the point you make, “I believe the fear of generosity can be overcome when we realize that by giving, we do more for ourselves than we do for those we are helping.”
Thanks for that reminder!
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Dear Mary,
Lovely article, glad to see twitter interaction proving useful!
I guess giving is directly related to the relationship between fear and connection / intimacy.
- Feeling fear, I feel separate, that which is mine I don’t want to give.
- Feeling free, I feel connected, that which is mine is already yours too and I give freely.
Other ways to consider running retreats by donation:
1. Offer a suggested sliding scale of Dana related to income/means (people often wonder what is the right amount to donate)
2. Offer information on the costs of running the retreat and dependent on how many people attend what the per person cost is (A UK monastery I have stayed at has a notice up with approximate daily cost of accommodating guests, very useful guidance!)
3. Require payment of a base cost then suggest people add Dana on top based on their means / sense of value. (A Dharma camp I have attended charges cost price for attendance but nothing for the teachings, i.e. teachers don’t get paid from camp fees, they get a proportion of the Dana.)
4. Suggest that people with the means to might like to make ‘sponsorship level’ Dana to help cover cost of other participants.
~gassho~
Puerhans last blog post..Mountains Swim
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Hi Puerhan!
I want to let readers know that you are the author of the interesting Tweet I quoted in my article.
Thanks for your thoughtful suggestions!
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Brillant!!! This shift is absolutely occuring. People are realizing that our only hope in this world is to evolve our consciousness. We must evolve…start being in the moment if we want our world to not only be better, but exist at all. Very wise words..keep up the great work!!
Ambers last blog post..On Simplicity
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Hi Amber!
Thanks for the encouraging comment!
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Yes I agree, the world needs more generous hearts – people willing to forgo consumer based ego or status pleasure for the sake of others. There is nothing so transformational as volunteering one’s time to help a local city mission or help refugees get acquainted with the community. It teaches us to feel grateful for what we have got which makes each moment more precious when we feel that way. Also I’ve found that whenever I help other people with their problems my problems melt away or I realise they’re trivial and just let them go. Mary thank you for this post – the ‘communal’ spirit must not come from an enforced political system but organically come with love from the heart.
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Hi Josh!
Thank you for your inspiring comment
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giving is the only thing
to a child, a friend, a lover
whether a gesture, a smile, a clover
giving is the only thing
that keeps me alive and above all sin.
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Hi Claudio!
You’ll be pleased to know that your question, “Do you ever wonder what it is that makes us give?” inspired this post.
Thank you!
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Thanks Mary, took me a bit to get back here. Been keeping up with the virtual retreat…it’s really cool and the topics are of great use.
talk to you soon!
claudio alegres last blog post..Advantages of Pay per Click (PPC) Marketing for Businesses
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Hi Claudio! I”m glad you’re enjoying the virtual retreat too.
It blows my mind that 400 people have gathered from all corners of the world to bring more awareness into their lives!
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