I agree! Stress never leads us to good decisions. How can you lead towards joy and happiness and peace if you’re not there yourself? You can feel the difference between real success and any other kind by the depth of the joy that comes with it. Even the president needs balance. Maybe especially the president.

Hi Mary - I’d tend to agree as well - I think good decisions can only be made from a point of balance. I believe that you can’t give to other people what you don’t already have yourself.

Blessings

Starfire

Starfires last blog post..Self awareness and judgementality

Mary,

I was just talking to a therapist about happiness and personal focus and he assured me that in moderation it is vitally important to refresh ourselves in order to be present for others. =]

Hi Mary

Hmmm… I wonder if the answer (an answer?) there is ‘yes, by definition, it is selfish, given that you’re focussing on yourself; but that doesn’t have to be a bad thing.’

We tend to see ‘being selfish’ as a bad thing, because we’re taught as kids that selfishness means greed, inconsideration and insensitivity.

Maybe it’s not about being selfish vs being selfless - it’s just about finding the right balance between giving yourself what you need and giving other people what they need?

I know for me, thinking of it terms of balance and overall results (if I do this thing for myself, I’m in a better condition to do x and y for others) helps me deal with the ‘you’re just being selfish!’ inner voice.

Of course, I tend to be a pretty strong utilitarian at times, so what works for me might well not work for everyone

Blessings

Starfire

Starfires last blog post..Self awareness and judgementality

So glad your blog is back online Mary.

I totally agree with the sentiments in this post. I think our leaders have even more of a responsibility to be happy. It’s such a huge example so many people look up to. Although I do have my sympathies for them, it’s not an easy job to do.

Something awesome one of my friends once said “I don’t trust any leader who doesn’t laugh regularly or have a smile on his face the majority of the time.”

Maybe that’s why the Dalai Lama is so popular. =)

I think Alice Walker’s advice to Obama is radical and right on and that what she is suggesting…. that he stay human by caring for himself and his family… will allow him to do a much better job of running this country. The last thing we need is a burnt out, disconnected president!

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I think she’s right. And also entirely Utopian. My experience of politicians (considerable, multi-national, up-close and personal) is that they are almost without exception (and the successful ones entirely without exception) people who are willing constantly to put achievement and power above happiness. The kind of person who is willing to do this is definitely not healthy, in my book, and not someone I want to be governed by. Alas. But there’s a first time for everything, and let’s all wish Barack Obama the very best, including happiness.

Alice Walker’s letter to Obama is inspired. It resonated powerfully with me the first time I saw it — the way some things just resonate inside you without further explanation. Truth. It’s great advice for us all. Grab hold of what’s most important: your calling, your passion, your joy in life and in your work … that which deeply feeds you; and see your world move and breathe and shift and begin to transform … like that.

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You have a small grammar error in your first sentence. Should be “points”, not “point”. Great article though.
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Thich Nhat Hanh reminds us that often we forget that we are happy. We forget that we live in paradise here and now. Only when something takes away our happiness (toothache, an unexpected bill, through to tragedies) do we remember that we have “lost” that happiness. Mindfulness is the habit that returns us to happiness. And I think it is quite right too that we should share our time with others to help them remember their happiness.

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I think that if he started cultivating a Dalai Lama-like quality of peace and happiness, it would be great for him and our country. An angry, stressed, irritable president is definitely not what we need. Angry people can get things done, but I don’t think they’re the best, especially if the peaceful people are active and capable.

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