Nelson Mandela is one of the secular saints of our times. His approach to peace can teach us how to resolve conflict in our lives. Here are 8 lessons on how to foster peace:
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1. Never let go of your dreams
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Mandela was incarcerated for 27 years on Robben Island. During this time he never gave up on his dream to end apartheid and bring peace to South Africa.
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2..Look for the good in people
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There is a lovely passage in his autobiography 
“I just want to wish you people good luck.”
Mandela was taken aback. In his autobiography he says,
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I do not know if I looked dumbfounded, but I was amazed. He spoke these words like a human being, and showed a side of himself we had never seen before.
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What Mandela then said to Badenhurst teaches us another lesson about peace.
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3. Be courteous even to your enemies
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Mandela replied to Badenhurst – a man who had ruled the prisoners with unflinching brutality – with this:
“Thank you for your good wishes. I hope you also have luck in your endeavours.”
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4. Talk with those your are in strife with
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When in 1984 Mandela on his own launched negotiations with the apartheid government, his fellow prisoners were aghast. They thought he was selling out. But Mandela was focused on breaking the deadlock. As Richard Stengel, the journalist who helped him write his autobiography says, Mandela is “the most pragmatic of idealists.”
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5. Be generous even to those who hurt you
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Mandela was a lawyer. It is typical for him that he not only helped his fellow inmates, he also assisted the warders with their legal problems. Remember that the warders of Robben Island were some of the most ruthless and brutal characters of the apartheid regime.
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6. You can negotiate with even the most intractable and difficult people
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In prison, Mandela consistently tried to better the conditions that he and his fellow prisoner was subjected to. In order to do this he had to negotiate with a succession of bigoted and hostile prison commanders.
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7. Don’t indulge in ‘them versus us’ thinking.
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Mandela learned to speak Afrikaans and even learned about rugby in order to be able to understand those who were trying to annihilate him. He knew that for lasting peace he had to focus on what he had in common with those who were persecuting him.
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8. If you win, don’t gloat: be generous
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When Mandela finally became president and apartheid was finally overturned, one of the first things that he instituted was the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. Anybody who felt he or she had been a victim of violence could come forward and be heard at the TRC. Perpetrators of violence could also give testimony and request amnesty from prosecution.
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If we take these eight lessons to heart, we can bring peace to our own life, to our communities, and to the whole world. As Richard Stengle says in his recent article, Nelson Mandela is one of the world’s greatest moral leaders.
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What do think about these eight lessons on peace? How could you use them in your life?
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Posted on 26-08-2008 | Copyright Mary Jaksch 2008.
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24 comments
Great post!
We need more people to show us that despite being hurt and oh so justified in our anger we can continue to show love and compassion. Thank You.
Dr. Casons last blog post..Medicine Mondays #3
[...] Original post by Mary Jaksch [...]
I agree, Mary, that Nelson Mandela is a true example of a peaceful spirit personified.
I have found his life story to be an inspiration to be positive in trying situations.
How he coped when the authorities tried to break his spirit, no one will ever understand.
It takes an immense willingness to forgive and, as you suggest, to be generous even to those who hurt us.
But, if he could do it, who are we not to at least try?
Even now, in the twilight of his years, his life is an amazing beacon of light for those in darkness. He will inspire generations to come.
And, what better legacy can any human being leave behind?
Thank you for this reminder, Mary.
Hi Dr Carson!
Yes, it’s quite strange how JUSTIFIED we feel when we’re angry. Anger seems to position us firmly in the ‘Us’ against ‘Them’ mindset.
Hi Scott!
I agree – what a wonderful legacy to leave. Yesterday I listened to woman whose photo was published during the Vietnam war. I am sure you know it: It’s a young girl running away from a Napalm explosion engulft in flames.
She said that forgiveness is the key to peace!
Hi Mary,
That is an amazing story- that photo is iconic.
I hope the woman’s story makes people think twice about our own attitude towards forgiveness…
Hi Scott!
Yes – she is amazing. Maybe I could write an article about her.
Here is an interesting article by the photographer who shot the picture:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4517597.stm
Hi Mary,
These are indeed great points. The underlying message that I see is that in order for us to win, it doesn’t mean that our enemies have to lose.
The “pragmatic idealist”. Something that I aspire to be as well!
Al at 7Ps last blog post..Why Should I Help You?
It’s an inspiring post. However a difficult issue has been side-stepped, as is the usual with the many sweet-sounding stories.
The issue is our intentions. If you help those who harm that which you like, how can you avoid internal conflict? For example, if half of your body is attacking another half (say, not unlike cancer), do you help both halves? What if both halves have fundamentally irreconcilable positions, goals, outlooks? And, if you avoid harming the person physically, but you go ahead and change their beliefs through persuasion, is that not a type of subtle violence in and of itself?
These are difficult and interesting questions. I doubt anyone has an answer to them, but it’d be nice if anyone could take time from their canned sound bites, that, let’s face it, are mindless cut-n-pastes from other feel-good sources, and engage, ACTUALLY engage in meaningful thinking and reflecting. You know? Think about that which we avoid thinking about. Engage. Wouldn’t it be novel? Of course it would! Mandela is universally praised. The “be good to all” is a very common and therefore canned theme for modern (pseudo) spiritualists. But imagine discussing the real difficulties inherent in the actual intentions that people like Mandela engage in? Maybe Mandela is not a good guy at all. Maybe what he does isn’t peaceful. I don’t suggest any conclusions, except that we stop taking all this for granted and rubber-stamping it with “yes”.
Hi tealeaf!
Thank you for your thoughtful and challenging comment!
It made me reflect on the bias of my post. And of course there is a bias. There always is.
There was one thing I left out of this article because it didn’t necessarily fit the ‘peace’ theme: Mandela was very strategic- maybe even manipulative.
He used to make ‘nice’ with his enemies. For example, he would make sure he sent birthday greetings to all his main enemies and invited them to parties. Just to ensure that he could mould them to his will.
That’s where one has to ask about integrity.
I think your theme of internal conflict it very interesting. I’d like to reflect some more before I say anything about it.
But maybe someone else would like to jump in and take up the challenge?
Them vs. us really is an indulgence. It’s something we can allow ourselves when we’re safe and separated by great distances.
I like the way you put it, and I loved the spirit in which you created this list. While it may not be the whole picture (I love the conversation that’s developed!), these are the points that are worth adding to our lives.
Sara at On Simplicitys last blog post..The Simple Benefits of Pets
Hi Sara,
How easy it is to get into the ‘them versus us’ mindstate!
I grew up in Germany (we moved there from England when I was little). The culture in Germany is more exclusive than inclusive.
To combat that mindset, I decided some years ago that I’d always choose an inclusive option over an exclusive option if I can.
I don’t always feel like it – but I just do it.
Thank you, Mary. This is a great example of what’s right in our world. There are saints among us. Being reminded of them, holding them in our perception, helps us resonate in a more similar manner.
Blessings, dear one,
CG
CG Walterss last blog post..Better Than Sitting Around the House Doing Nothing
Mr Mandela is one of my personal heroes, in whose lifetime I am grateful to have lived. May he be blessed.
Ians last blog post..Tuesday Round-up For Friends
Just back from South Africa and Botswana. Still recovering from a culture shock. Nelson Mandela is present everywhere in the hearts of people from Cape Town to Joburg. His lesson lives and still brings hope for South Africa, and it needs a lot, for the problems there are huge.
amazingmesss last blog post..vakantie
Mary,
It would be nice if we could ask Mandela whether or not he avoids internal conflict, and how, if he does avoid it. Does he live on the hope that in the future everything will work out a-OK? Does he know that it’s a-OK right now, but if yes, why bother changing?
Connecting with perceived adversaries is an interesting theme.
Maybe the trick is that he doesn’t take his action to mean “help”. So maybe inviting those folks to parties and giving them gift doesn’t constitute aid in his mind, not even a moral support. But for all the human beings I know, sending someone a gift at birthday is a type of implicit moral support, not just “I like you”, but “I like what you are doing”, because what are we, if not our intentions and beliefs? So when you give someone a birthday cake, you’re not giving to a person, but to a bundle of intentions (ultimately intentions cannot be separated though) contextualized by a certain belief network. So does Mandela see it this way or not? If yes, how can he offer moral support to something he morally objects to?
On the other hand, if cakes and parties and other conventional human relations warm touches do not mean anything and do not constitute aid, then when Mandela is hugging all those poor kids and smiling at all the downtrodden people, is he really offering moral support or just a meaningless smile, the same kind he is ready to give to his detractors?
I don’t want to bash Mandela at all. I simply have a question about integrity and inner consistency. I myself have grappled with this issue, and frankly, I found no answer, or the answers I found you may not like, because they don’t always involve peace. But I think it would be very interesting to read something deeply analytical and introspective about this issue.
At the very least, if we can’t have a “feel good” ending, maybe we instead can have honesty.
The only thing I can imagine that does away with the conflict is to see everything as a game, but we have to understand, that if done so, helping the downtrodden is also a game and not that important. If everyone is OK with that, that’s cool with me, but why not write about it and say so? That’s be a brave thing to write, or at least, I can’t say I read it anywhere yet, at least I didn’t read it from any source that wants to maintain conventional legitimacy.
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Very good article, thank you!
I follow you always, this post is excellent.
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