Photo of Joanna Newsom by ezola

Imagine performing at your best in front of thousands - full of confidence and joy. This is what former Boston star Bill Russell experienced frequently. He said,
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“This is when everything goes so perfectly that you slip into a gear that you didn’t even know was there.”
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We all have that secret gear. That’s what psychologist Mihalyi Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced “chick-sent-me high”) found. His research showed that optimal experience occurs when body and mind are stretched to their limits in order to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile. He called it being ‘in the flow’. Csikszentmihalyi said:
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“Such experiences are not necessarily pleasant at the time they occur. The swimmer’s muscles might have ached during his most memorable race, his lungs might have felt like exploding, and he might have been dizzy with fatigue — yet these could have been the best moments of his or her life.”
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Here are seven characteristics of flow or zone according to sports psychologist Karlene Sugarman:
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•Relaxed: The best performances occur when you are just slightly above your normal state of arousal, not at the extreme end of the spectrum. You feel relaxed, but you are able to move with great strength and ease.
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•Confident: You exude confidence and pride, and it is evident in your performance. There is no fear. You don’t let a lapse in performance undermine your belief in your overall abilities.

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•Focused: You are totally absorbed in the moment. The only thing you are concentrating on is the task at hand. You have no real sense of time.
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•Effortless: You are in a state where you can accomplish great things with little or no effort. Your mind and body are working with one another in perfect unison. That sort of connectedness and moment of greatness is an awesome thing both to witness and take part in.
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•Automatic: There is no interference from your thoughts or emotions.. You are on auto pilot-just reacting to whatever comes your way. Your body just seems to know what to do.
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•Fun: When you’re in the flow, the enjoyment is incomparable to anything else.
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•In Control: You feel that no matter what, you are in control. You own your own destiny. The authority is yours, and no one else’s. You have a feeling of mastery.

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When I read these characteristics, it seems impossible for an ordinary human being to have such experiences. And yet I remember strange moments years ago when I was a professional flutist. It seemed like I suddenly became the flute, and music just poured out of me without effort.

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We all have the capacity for being in the zone. The good new is that we can train ourselves to experience it. The following seven steps show how to develop the capacity for being in the zone. Read the rest of this entry »

Photo by teo

Sometimes life falls apart. Maybe a loved one dies or leaves, we lose our job, or we experience other kinds of traumatic events. At first, it might seem impossible for the broken bits of life to knit together.

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That’s what it felt like last year when an investment went horribly wrong. A new house planned for resale ended up languishing half-built and degrading steadily in the rain, whilst the builder skipped the country to live it up on a South Sea island. I ended up with a six-figure loss and suddenly faced an uncertain future. Worried, angry, and confused, I started to slide into depression.

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At that time I reminded myself of the Five Steps of Healing that I had taught others in the past:

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• Acceptance

The first response to disaster is usually denial—which is the opposite of acceptance. Acceptance is the first step of healing. It can take a long time to emerge from denial. Acceptance grows slowly over time.

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A new beginning can only happen when the old form disintegrates. Look at what happens when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. If you compare a caterpillar to a butterfly, they seem worlds apart and yet one transforms into the other. In some sense, you could say that the caterpillar dies. From this death, a new, beautiful form arises.

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• Presence

To be present is our natural state of mind. What I mean by ‘being present’ is an awareness of the moment we are actually living right now. It’s difficult to be present during a crisis because the mind is in the grip of four mind states: distraction, obsession, intrusive images, and catastrophising. These states are fueled by emotions, especially by anger, jealousy, and fear, as well as by guilt and shame.

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To be present is to be fully alive. Caught in a fog of memories, hopes and fears, we miss the moment. The present moment is a space without past or future. On our healing journey, moments of presence are points of rest and renewal.
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• Action
To heal it is important for us to overcome apathy. Apathy, the unwillingness to engage in action comes in many guises. It can range from ‘too exhausted’ to ‘can’t be bothered’. It’s the physical expression of emotional numbness. Action is the way out of apathy because movement triggers energy.
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• Forgiveness

Forgiveness puts grievance to rest. To be able to forgive, we must first overcome hate, resentment, and bitterness, and develop loving-kindness and compassion.
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To forgive is difficult. Many people indulge in grudges for years or even decades. It seems even more difficult to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is not an act of will. It’s not a psychological, but a spiritual process. Forgiveness means that we have to let go of resentment, righteous indignation, and anger. We can’t will ourselves to forgive. But, if we cultivate loving-kindness and compassion, forgiveness can grow.

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• Integration

Think of your life as a map. At the centre of this map are the areas that stand for people, activities or things that you hold dear. When a life crisis happens, a central piece gets erased from that map.

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Integration means redrawing our map of life and filling the empty place with new meaning. For this process you need to rebuild confidence, and develop acceptance and resilience.

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I followed these five steps and they allowed me to move forward and heal. That’s why I decided to write an Ebook in order to help others find a way through dark times.

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.As a psychotherapist and Zen master I have helped many people work through the worst times in their lives and shown them how to recover and be happy again.

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In my Ebook I’ve collected inspiring stories of people I know personally who have emerged from great suffering stronger and happier.
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From Tragedy to Triumph shows you how to reclaim your life. It will guide you to: Read the rest of this entry »

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Dr. Michael Newton was a traditional psychotherapist opposed to past life regression work when a client spontaneously entered what seemed like a past life regression.

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The man had complained about a persistent pain in his side that doctors couldn’t diagnose or treat. In the regression, the man found himself in the battle of Somme of World War I  on the British side. He was dying of a bajonet wound. Newton, a keen scholar of martial history immediately asked him to look at the division patch on his arm. The client could describe it correctly. That was the clincher for Newton. But was it proof a past life?

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I’m in two minds about past life regression because on one hand I have reservations about the validity of so-called past life experiences. On the other hand, I’m happen to be one of the people who may have had a past life experience. (I’ll tell you about it further down).
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Past life regression

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This is a form of therapy where people allegedly access previous lives in the course of hypnosis. It’s a controversial form of treatment and there are two main questions one could ask. One is: are these really previous lives? The other: is this therapeutic intervention useful?

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Are past life regression memories real?

They certainly feel real to the person experiencing them and seem convincing to therapists who evoke them. Whilst I have some reservations about the validity of this therapy, it’s fair to say that there are respected psychotherapists and psychiatrists amongst the PLR (Past Life Regression) therapists, as well as people whos qualifications are more doubtful.

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One of the leading developers of PLR therapy was Brian L. Weiss, M.D., the Chairman Emeritus of Psychiatry at the Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami. The well-known psychotherapist Dr. Michael Newton explains why he became a PLR therapist in this video.

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I’m not sure whether past life regression is a useful tool for well-being and mental health. I would hate to see people whose psyche is already fragile burdened with more life-times of trauma. To heal the wounds of this life seems to be more than enough for many people.
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Prof. Ian Stevenson’s work, whom I introduced in my article on reincarnation, is often quoted by therapists as supporting evidence for the validity of Past Life Regression. Actually, he was dead set against it. In an article he voiced strong concerns: Read the rest of this entry »