Photo by teo

Sometimes life falls apart. Maybe a loved one dies or leaves, we lose our job, or we experience other kinds of traumatic events. At first, it might seem impossible for the broken bits of life to knit together.

.

That’s what it felt like last year when an investment went horribly wrong. A new house planned for resale ended up languishing half-built and degrading steadily in the rain, whilst the builder skipped the country to live it up on a South Sea island. I ended up with a six-figure loss and suddenly faced an uncertain future. Worried, angry, and confused, I started to slide into depression.

.

At that time I reminded myself of the Five Steps of Healing that I had taught others in the past:

.

• Acceptance

The first response to disaster is usually denial—which is the opposite of acceptance. Acceptance is the first step of healing. It can take a long time to emerge from denial. Acceptance grows slowly over time.

.

A new beginning can only happen when the old form disintegrates. Look at what happens when a caterpillar becomes a butterfly. If you compare a caterpillar to a butterfly, they seem worlds apart and yet one transforms into the other. In some sense, you could say that the caterpillar dies. From this death, a new, beautiful form arises.

.

• Presence

To be present is our natural state of mind. What I mean by ‘being present’ is an awareness of the moment we are actually living right now. It’s difficult to be present during a crisis because the mind is in the grip of four mind states: distraction, obsession, intrusive images, and catastrophising. These states are fueled by emotions, especially by anger, jealousy, and fear, as well as by guilt and shame.

.

To be present is to be fully alive. Caught in a fog of memories, hopes and fears, we miss the moment. The present moment is a space without past or future. On our healing journey, moments of presence are points of rest and renewal.
.

• Action
To heal it is important for us to overcome apathy. Apathy, the unwillingness to engage in action comes in many guises. It can range from ‘too exhausted’ to ‘can’t be bothered’. It’s the physical expression of emotional numbness. Action is the way out of apathy because movement triggers energy.
.

• Forgiveness

Forgiveness puts grievance to rest. To be able to forgive, we must first overcome hate, resentment, and bitterness, and develop loving-kindness and compassion.
.

To forgive is difficult. Many people indulge in grudges for years or even decades. It seems even more difficult to forgive ourselves. Forgiveness is not an act of will. It’s not a psychological, but a spiritual process. Forgiveness means that we have to let go of resentment, righteous indignation, and anger. We can’t will ourselves to forgive. But, if we cultivate loving-kindness and compassion, forgiveness can grow.

.

• Integration

Think of your life as a map. At the centre of this map are the areas that stand for people, activities or things that you hold dear. When a life crisis happens, a central piece gets erased from that map.

.

Integration means redrawing our map of life and filling the empty place with new meaning. For this process you need to rebuild confidence, and develop acceptance and resilience.

.

I followed these five steps and they allowed me to move forward and heal. That’s why I decided to write an Ebook in order to help others find a way through dark times.

.

.As a psychotherapist and Zen master I have helped many people work through the worst times in their lives and shown them how to recover and be happy again.

.

In my Ebook I’ve collected inspiring stories of people I know personally who have emerged from great suffering stronger and happier.
.

From Tragedy to Triumph shows you how to reclaim your life. It will guide you to:

.

Overcome fear, anger, jealousy, guilt, and stress.

Use proven feel-better strategies.

Rid yourself of obsessive thoughts.

Free yourself from hate, resentment, and bitterness.

Find forgiveness.

Return to your normal life happy and free of worry.

Discover new meaning in life.

.

“Wow. While not in the midst of tragedy right now, I still found myself profoundly moved by the passages in this book.  I believe this book should be required reading for anyone who is … breathing.  Reading this made me feel stronger, more alive!”
Annie B.
.

I have added a FREE audio version that you can listen to when you can’t sleep or are anxious and sad.

.
Both Ebook and audio can be downloaded immediately and payment is by secure online server.
.

From Tragedy to Triumph is fully illustrated with inspiring images by leading photographers.
Buy it now for only $12.50 (includes a 42 page Ebook and a FREE audio version).
.

My heartfelt wishes for your wellbeing accompany From Tragedy to Triumph.
Click the ‘Buy Now’ button to find healing and happiness.

If you have a blog or website and would like to offer From Tragedy to Triumph as an affiliate, please contact me for details.

share and enjoy:
  • StumbleUpon
  • E-mail this story to a friend!
  • Reddit
  • Digg

Comments

13 comments

1. CG Walters on 7 July, 2008 at 10:31 pm #

Thank you, Mary, for your insights in overcoming such situations.
I know just the feeling. A couple of years ago I fell into a very similar misfortune.
blessings to you and all you hold dear,
CG


2. Mary Jaksch on 7 July, 2008 at 10:46 pm #

@CG Walters
Thank you for sharing that you too went through similar troubles. Misfortune makes us all brothers and sisters.


3. Al at 7P on 8 July, 2008 at 12:11 am #

Hi Mary - I have read the first part of the book, and I have to say it’s fantastic! It’s pretty deep and powerful, and it’s going to take me more than one reading to absorb it.

I must say I am impressed with your book - congratulations!

Al at 7Ps last blog post..If Life Was Predictable, It Would Be Boring


4. Mary Jaksch on 8 July, 2008 at 12:18 am #

@Al
Thank you! I’m happy you like it, Al. It was quite difficult writing it because I was having a hard time - and still closely observing my feelings and thoughts. I was my own labrat, so to speak.


5. Annie Binns on 8 July, 2008 at 3:56 pm #

Wow.
While not in the midst of tragedy right now, I still found myself profoundly moved by the passages in this book. I believe this book should be required reading for anyone who is … breathing. Reading this made me feel stronger, more alive. And the photographs — it’s as if the WORDS picked the pictures. I found myself stopping and staring at some of them, going over the words in my head, knowing exactly the message that was there just for my eyes.
I am better prepared for tomorrow because of reading this today. Thank you, Mary!!!

Annie Binnss last blog post..Wimbledon 2008 - Rafael Nadal


6. Mary Jaksch on 8 July, 2008 at 4:14 pm #

@Annie Binns
What a lovely comment, Annie! I was a bit nervous about publishing this book because it contains stories of people whom I treasure and who have changed my life. They might have thought my work helped them, but, really - they shaped my life in the most amazing way.


7. Sebastian on 8 July, 2008 at 4:47 pm #

Awesome book mum - well done!
What a helpful resource you’ve created.
:)
Sebastians last blog post..How to Generate Speed


8. Mary Jaksch on 8 July, 2008 at 4:54 pm #

@Sebastian
It’s all your fault, Sebastian :-)
You forced me to start a blog and you’ve been encouraging me to write ebooks ever since.

Thank you for your unstinting encouragement and wise guidance!

It’s so wonderful when one’s kid turns into a trusted advisor!


9. Bamboo Forest on 9 July, 2008 at 4:45 pm #

I believe acceptance is one of the nobelist qualities a human being can embody. I think it demands a great deal of humility.

Bamboo Forests last blog post..“Wocka Wocka Wocka”


10. Mary Jaksch on 9 July, 2008 at 11:33 pm #

@Bamboo Forest
Acceptance is very difficult because we have to let go of control and of our wish to bend reality to our will.


11. Dave Navarro on 11 July, 2008 at 6:17 am #

I’ve always leaned on M. Scott Peck’ opening to The Road Less Traveled

“Life is difficult. This is a great truth, one of the greatest truths. It is a great truth because once we truly see this truth, we transcend it. Once we truly know that life is difficult–once we truly understand and accept it–then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters.”

Congrats on getting your eBook out there!

Dave Navarros last blog post..Fighting Work-Life Balance Stress: Attack Of The 50-Ft. Goals


12. Mary Jaksch on 11 July, 2008 at 6:35 am #

@Dave Navarro
Yes, life is difficult. The strange thing is that I really value the things didn’t come easy to me.

I was just reading an interesting post by Hunter Nuttall on overnight success

It made me remember how important difficulty and struggle are. Those are the times when we know we’re heading in the right direction but success has not yet caught up with us. We’re in walking in the desert having faith that we’ll find an oasis. Those times are precious and forge our inner strength.


13. Mary @ CTHQ on 17 July, 2008 at 2:02 am #

I am forwarding this post to my 17 year old daughter. She and her brother recently lost both a beloved uncle and grandfather on their father’s side of the family in less than a month. It has been a lot to deal with in a very short time and I think this may help her.

I got here from ZenHabits and love your blog. Thanks.

Mary @ CTHQs last blog post..Jul 9, Your Job Blog - Use Your Blog to Find a Job


Post a Comment
Name:
Email:
Website:
Comments:
Copyright 2008. Goodlife Zen. All Rights Reserved.
004de1