by mary jaksch
When a young Turkish boy named Celal Kapan first began to speak, almost the first thing he said was:
“What am I doing here? I was at the port.”
Later he told his parents that he had been a dockworker who had fallen asleep in the hold of a ship when a heavy oil drum fell on him and killed him instantly. Was he remembering a previous life?
What happens when we die?
Is there life after death?
From the earliest beginnings of the human race, people have asked these questions. This week’s article is about reincarnation. Others on past life regression, near death experiences, death bed visions, crisis apparitions, and ghosts, will follow at irregular intervals.
Reincarnation
Reincarnation is the belief that the human soul is reborn into a new body after death. Many Buddhists and Hindus believe in reincarnation. Even some strands of Christianity believed in reincarnation, until the Council of Nice banned such beliefs in 553 A.D.
What do we really know about reincarnation? Is there any evidence for it?
The foremost researcher of reincarnation was Dr. Ian Stevenson, Professor of Psychiatry and Director or the Division of Personality Studies at the University of Virginia. He died in 2007 after a long, distinguished, and fruitful career. Stevenson researched cases of children between the age of two and five who suddenly started speaking of a previous life and offered details.
His research was published in reputable scientific journals. In Stevenson’s book “Twenty Cases Suggestive of Reincarnation”, he recounts the story of the Indian girl Swarnlata Misha: When Swarnlata was three, she was traveling in a car with her father and a driver. When they were in Katni, an area 100 miles from her home, she suddenly pointed and said to the driver:
“Please go along this road here. We can go to my house. We can get a better cup of tea there than on the road.”
Her father was taken aback because this area was unknown to him and to her. She then related more details of her previous life in Katni, giving her name as Biya Pathak, and describing the house in detail. She said that she had two sons and had died of “a pain in her throat”. When she was ten years old, an Indian researcher, Prof Banerjee, heard about her story and decided to investigate. He found the house where the Pathak family lived, using only Swarnlata’s description.
Everything was just as Swarnlata had described it. He interviewed the Pathak family and they informed him that Biya Pathak had died in 1939 and had left two sons and a husband. Her brother and one of her sons paid a surprise visit to the girl in order to see her and test her memories. You can imagine the turmoil they must have felt as went on this mission. She recognised her family and even knew their nicknames.
It’s hard to imagine what it might have been like for Chintamini Pandey, Biya’s husband. To meet a 10-year old who seems to be a reincarnation of his beloved wife who died twenty years ago must have been an extraordinary experience. I wonder how Swarnlata felt about all this? It must have been confusing to remember the life of a grown woman when she was only a child.
Stevenson visited her in later years and corresponded with her for ten years after this case was investigated. He reports that she grew up normally, received an advanced degree in botany, and got married. She visited her ‘former family’ in Katni regularly. You can read a candid interview with Stevenson, as well as the full story of Swarnlata here. Stevenson said of his research:
All the cases I’ve investigated so far have shortcomings. Even taken together, they do not offer anything like proof. But as the body of evidence accumulates, it’s more likely that more and more people will see its relevance.
To round off the picture, here is an article in which the author critizises Stevenson’s methods and findings.
What do you make of reincarnation? Please share your thoughts in the comments.
I plan to explore themes that may shine some light on what happens when we die in a series of seven articles that will appear at irregular intervalls. The themes are: past life regression, near death experiences, death bed visions, crisis apparitions, ghosts, and beliefs about death and afterlife.
The next article of the series is on past life regression. I’l reveal a mysterious experience of mine that could be construed as a past life regression.
Read these related posts:
Past Life Regression: Evidence of Life after Death?
What Near Death Research Reveals About the Purpose of Life
Do Ghosts Exist?
Photo by juliakoz
{ 1 trackback }
{ 89 comments… read them below or add one }
← Previous Comments
Everything is on its way to somewhere!!!
Death is only a small part of this giant thing we call life. Remember; whatever happens here on earth with you goes with you no matter where you go (Geographically)after we pass on into the new relm of life. And no matter what happens with your experiences here on Earth, you will live with eternal peace forever and ever. Nothing that you’ve done here on Earth – Good or Bad, life is only a learning experience, and some fun. In the BIG picture, nothing is your own fault. People are aloud to make mistakes, provided that you try not to fall over the same missfortunes all the time is to be the wiser of an outcome of your plight in the next life. Nothing is realy your fault. Were all in this big world together – mainly to do two basic things – and those are to take care of other people when needed, and to take care of yourself. It will all turn just fine in the end. And that is that in your plight of lifes’ itinorary, you will turn out to be just fine. You’ll be in Good Hands. Its not your fault. You dont have to do the best you can, just do what you can within reason. Don’t worry. It will all be OK
Mary,
I am only 21 years old, and whether it’s right or wrong to think about death a lot at my age matters not, I suppose. What’s been haunting me for the longest time is the idea that there may be no afterlife. I come from a family that is entirely Christian, but I am not. I am like you…agnostic and no selected beliefs that influence my life. I wish someone could understand the fear in my mind at the thought of not living past this life. It literally strikes depression in my heart. I want to be able to have some sort of afterlife, even if that means being punished for my sins (referring to Art’s comment before). I want to know that I will go on, that I will live, because frankly…I LOVE LIVING. I suppose none of us can truly say he or she knows where we go when we die, but this blog has inspired me to see all of the different beliefs congregated into one place. I was extremely inspired by your acceptance of death (not that we can’t accept it), but your lack of fear. I want to be able to not fear death, but the truth is, it is my biggest fear…and one I think about on a regular basis, even at my age at 21…I hope someday that I can have a positive outlook on death like you someday…for my happiness’ sake. Thanks for writing this blog.
–Jake
reincarnation couldn’t be possible unless there are other planets with life. What happens when this planet comes to it’s end and everyone dies. Does reincarnation stop there? If it does then it never existed. Reincarnation means we die and than are reborn in someone else’s body. If there are no bodies to support us then what?
@Jake
I feel like I’m in the same boat as you, in a way. I’m 22 myself and recently married, and literally in the past month I’ve thought more about death than I think I ever have in my life. It’s probably because, at the verge of starting a new family, with a wife I love more than life itself, I’ve found a happiness that I never, ever want to loss, even in death. So the thought of death, and the possibility of no afterlife, has been weighing heavily on me lately. I, too, feel a bit silly, worrying about this stuff when I’m so young, but I don’t think that makes our worries any less real.
But about six years ago, I had an experience that, to me, proves the existence of SOMETHING beyond human out there. I was in a horrible accident, flipped the van I was driving several times and came to a rest upside down. I blacked out, and when I came to I was hanging upside down from my seatbelt in the drivers seat. I started to freak out and thrash around when–I was in shock–when someone walked up to the driver’s side door. All I could see were their shoes (I remember them clearly–they were nice shoes, loafers). Whoever it was just stood there, didn’t try to look in at me or reach in and get me or anything. Just stood there. Then, the person just said, in a man’s voice: “Calm down. Take a deep breath, calm down, and get yourself out of there.”
I remember that clearly, and the sense of calm just washing over me–washing away my panic–is probably what I remember most. It was almost physical, like water running over my body.
Anyway, I managed to disengage the seatbelt and fell out of the chair onto the roof of the van. I blacked out again, and next thing I knew I was wandering along the side of the highway next to the crashed car.
The first person to reach the scene of my accident arrived less than a minute after I regained consciousness. I was still in shock, so I immediately started screaming at the poor guy, asking him where “He” went. The guy was horribly confused and just tried to tell me that there wasn’t anyone else there.
In the shock and trauma of all that happened, I’ve forgotten a lot of what happened in that accident, but I don’t think I’ll ever forget whatever it was that helped me out of that van.
It just seems natural to me that there’s something else out there. Sure, we don’t have any physical evidence of it–and we may never–but was there any evidence of subatomic particles before they discovered them? And think of the things that science has proven exist, but which we cannot touch, see, explain or even begin to understand (just look up Dark Matter or multiverse light particle experiments). Think of how little we know about how our own brains work.
Even though I worry–and its terrible to worry about this kind of thing, it really weighs on you, like you said, it depresses you–it just seems natural to me that there’s just some essence of life that exists after death, that goes on. And personally, the more I examine my own life, the more I find solid personal reasons to believe that a benevolent being is out there, looking after us.
I feel like this post is forever long, but I also feel like this last bit is relevant: a few days after the accident, we went to look at what remained of the van I crashed.
The roof of the van had been warped in the crash, and it came down to a sharp funnel that reached halfway down the front of the driver’s seat.
I walked away from that crash with a few scratches on the back of my hand.
In another article you’ve said that life is a dot not a path…
Then I assumed that there is nothing before or after…
now, in this article you say that there is life after death…confuse….
there is only oneway thought
or reincarnation or life’s a dot…
both can not living together
I’d rather believe that life is a dot….
nothing before neither after….even life
cheers
@ricardo
I like this question! For me, these two issues are completely separate.
Life as a “dot” is not an answer to the questions of the universe, rather its a practice to live my life more fully in the present moment. Whether we look at life as a path to follow to the end, or a present-moment dot, it’s undeniable that both the dot and the path are valid viewpoints of reality – the dot can be seen in the present moment, and the path can be seen in the fact that when you go to bed on a tuesday it is dark, and then you wake up on a wednesday and it’s light outside (normally!).
Asking the question of whether there is reincarnation or after-lives is simply curiously asking questions about the ultimate nature of life when seen as a path. And seeing life as a dot is a way to experience the colours and smells and sights of life more vividly, as they are there to be experienced!
Well, just my two cents!
my husband past away a month ago, is feel so empty miss him a lot.
I think reincarnation IS HELL and that Jesus is the savior who entered this reality to explain it and offer the escape to eternal perfect life. The Lie is that this life is THE life, when it is merely just a tree (of the knowledge of good and evil) in a vast and wonderous garden.
@Jake
I had to choke back tears when I read your comment. I can completely relate to everything you wrote. The fear of no afterlife is very scary and depressing. I think the exact thing as well, I love living! It seems that everyone in my life has some form of belief system or faith that keeps them going on without fearing what might or might not be there. I wish I had this, but no matter who I talk to or what I hear, I still have this intense fear that as a result causes panic attacks for me. I’m 25 with a beautiful 5 year old daughter and a loving partner. I’m in college right now, with so much more to look forward to. But, I get physically ill when I think of not being here anymore, or even existing in some way after the body dies.
I really do hope there is an afterlife. It’s torturous to go about my days then have a thought of not existing anymore. I feel lost in a sense, and ask myself often, what am I going to tell my child when she asks those questions about how we got here and such. Maybe this sounds irrational to some people, but it’s very real to me. I suppose I’m just seeking answers that I wont get until my time is up.
Hi Jake!
I was touched by your post. It’s wonderful that you love life so much! Even though your passion for love breeds fear about death.
I’ve always been comforted by the fact that the people who had near death experiences all say that they do not fear death any more.
Hi PJ!
Thank you for sharing the wonderful and strange story of your accident.
You have experienced something quite amazing. I can feel that it’s given you some inner knowledge and certainty that goes beyond reasoning.
Hi Christine!
It seems like you’re really suffering from a deep-seated fear about death. I think some amount of fear is natural and healthy. But if you have panic attacks – that’s a different matter.
Maybe you could consider going to a therapist? I think that might be helpful.
I would love to see you strong, happy, and enjoying life – without the crippling fear, Christine.
nothing chance still so pain inside i lost my bestfriend and wonderful man
There is no reincarnation. Only the Judgment by the Lord…
Hi
This thread has really helped me out, I was extremely scared of what happens when I die, I didnt sleep properly for ages, but when I read this, im starting to believe there is an after-life, or reincarnation.
I guess if there is a reincarnation system, every time you get reincarnated, your memories will be whiped out, but apparently some people can still remember.
Anyway, thanks
I’m assuming Art Gonzalez is HIspanic/ Latino. I am as well but I DO believe in reincarnation unlike him.
I wrote a great editorial I’d like to share with you all. I wrote this while I was a graduate student here in San Antonio, Texas. I am 29 years of age and live near downtown San Antonio.
May, 2004
Learning from religious fanaticism can prevent future atrocities – Logos
As we reflect back upon history, one thing remains clear regardless of one’s religious affiliation or no affiliation: More people have died in the name of God than any other way throughout history.
Indeed, for hundreds of years, religious elites and common people have used their own religious interpretation (and passed down interpretation) to oppress based on gender, sexual orientation, religion and ethnicity. We have come to know of the atrocities that were all tied to religion such as the Holocaust, African-American enslavement, and the persecution of Jews.
In his book, “Holy Horrors: An Illustrated History of Religious Murder and Madness,” James A. Haught chronicles a thousand years of religious hate ranging from the witch hunts, to the numerous crusades, to the Holy Inquisition, to the religious anti-Semitic influence that later fueled the Holocaust. Haught says, “Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined, and imprisoned, yet we have not advanced one inch towards uniformity. What has been the effect of the coercion? To make one half of the world fools and the other half hypocrites.” Furthermore, theologian Richard Rubenstein wrote that the Nazis “did not invent a new villain…they took over the 2,000-year-old Christian tradition of the Jew as a villain. The roots of the death camps must be sought in the mythic structure of Christianity.”
We have also seen throughout history how numerous religious leaders and common people have pointed to specific passages in the Bible that have been used to validate slavery. One insightful book, “Noah’s Curse: The Biblical Justification of American Slavery,” by Stephen R. Haynes, further shows how just “one” biblical passage fueled anti-African-American sentiment over the course of hundreds of years. The biblical passage, “A servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren,” reads Noah’s curse on Ham. Ham is later identified as the ancestor of black Africans, and this particular biblical passage is just one that has been used historically to justify African-American slavery. Also many Christian clergymen throughout history were pro-slavery. Historian Larry Hise says in his book, “Pro Slavery,” that ministers “wrote almost half of all defenses of slavery published in America.” He also lists more than 250 religious men who used the Bible to prove white people were entitled to own black people.
Similarly, Hitler and other anti-Semitic leaders throughout history have used biblical passages to validate the persecution of Jews. Here is just one passage that fueled anti-Semitism: “You suffered from your own countrymen the same things those churches suffered from the Jews, who killed the Lord Jesus and the prophets and also drove us out. They displease God and are hostile to all men in their effort to keep us from speaking to the Gentiles so that they may be saved. In this way they always heap up their sins to the limit. The wrath of God has come upon them at last.” (1 Thessalonians 2:14-16).
In the year 2000, Pope John Paul II issued a historical pardon at St. Peter’s Basilica regarding the Catholic Church’s prime role in the persecution of Jews for the past 1,000 years. In addition, they also released a document that named (and officially validated) other multiple “sins” on their part including the Holocaust, Inquisition, Crusades and other religious acts.
Not surprisingly, comparable negative sentiment that existed hundreds of years ago against African-Americans and Jews, fixated on non-heterosexuals around 50 years ago during its national peak. True, much progress has been made for gay and bisexual rights. But even today, when discussing bisexuality and heterosexuality, some people are quick to (just as in history) point to biblical passages that condemn anyone who is not heterosexual.
Earlier this year we witnessed a progressive change in history as gay and bisexual men and women fought back against hegemonic norms and married in San Francisco. With the right time to pass, it will not be long when equal marriage rights under the law will be given to non-heterosexuals; similar to the way segregation was outlawed and ruled unconstitutional in the 1960s despite such opposition.
Still, some do not consider gay and bisexual rights a “civil rights” issue. However, Coretta Scott King, wife of the late Martin Luther King Jr., disagrees with them. In 1998, on the 30th anniversary of her husband’s assassination she commented: “I still hear people say that I should… stick to the issue of racial justice, but I hasten to remind them Martin Luther King Jr. said, ‘Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.’ ” I appeal to everyone who believes in Martin Luther King Jr.’s dream to make room at the table of brother-and-sisterhood for lesbian and gay (and bisexual) people.”
Clearly, religion has also been used against women throughout history, which has solidly set the foundation for our dominating patriarchal world. One such biblical passage has been used to prohibit women from being ministers: “Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak.” (I Corinthians I 4:34). Many believe this biblical passage and others like it fueled misogynistic beliefs at the time, which viewed women as merely second-class citizens. Not long after, The Women’s Suffrage Movement was a prime example of how women fought against the male-dominated world. Finally with the passage of the 19th Amendment, women got their long-deserved right to vote.
Yes, it is true more people have died in the name of God throughout our history than any other way. So it behooves us today to not forget our history, for we may be doomed to repeat it. As we have seen through hundreds of years, indeed it has been repeated. I know I will never identify myself as a Catholic or with any other religion that is not in line with my life-changing (progressive) and liberal beliefs. However, I do believe in God very much and always will; there is a higher Creator, and I believe that our higher Creator would want us to most definitely learn from our horrid history, so that we will never repeat it again. The time is now for us to continue to fight for civil rights in all aspects. The work is never done!
“…it is appointed for men to die once and after this comes judgement” – Hebrews 9:27
I’m inclined not to believe in reincarnation, or any other form of life after death in which the individual soul lives on. In the end, it seems simply a way to get around, rather than overcome, our fear of death. Nonetheless, I kind of like the idea, and may change my mind about it. What I’m more interested in, though, is making life meaningful before death, and reincarnation is a useful metaphor for the ways in which we die and are reborn again and again within our lives.
YogaforCynicss last blog post..Not Saying Anything
Hi YogaforCynics!
Thank you for reminding us that the key issue is how we are ‘reborn’ again and again within our lives.
Each time we come back to the moment right now, we are ‘reborn’.
I died seven years ago at home after an illness. While on the other side, I was flying over the hills where I went to school. A young child with open arms appeared to me crying. Then, my former girlfriend came to my house with her daughter holding her hand as they approached my front gate. I was brought back to life by my brother calling my name and these visions kept me from further flying over the hills. I was then revived and went to the hospital.
Seven years later I contacted my former girlfriend who told me that week of November that year I died she lost her baby. She then got pregnant again with a daughter. Although I never met her daughter I described her in detail. I saw this child before she was even born while on the other side. I am still amazed!
Hello Mary,
Like you, I practice Zen in the Diamond Sangha, and like you I have recently received a Doctorate in Psychology (Psy D.). Currently I am not practicing as a therapist and have not become licensed yet, although I did therapy for a year and a half. After working for the State of California for over 18 years, can someone say “career change?” Anyway, at first I can’t help but have compassion for all of these beings and their responses. You must know it took me awhile (a few days, with interruptions) to read them all.
When it comes to reincarnation: I do not buy into it. I really like Mete’s explanation about the blanket in #43 (above). But when it comes to having a soul, I do not agree. Aren’t there any Buddhists out there? By the way, I was brought up Christian, Open Bible, and Presbyterian. Buddhist do not believe in a soul (anatta – no self). Although in high school they used to call me soul brother. Buddhism denies the existence of an undying or eternal soul. No soul or insubstantiality or emptiness. In my own experience I have found this to be so.
How could anything pass over? Any aggregate, trait or bit of character, from one life to the next? My experience of it is more like “Vast emptiness, nothing holly,” attributed to Bodhidharma, in reply to questions from, and in personal attendance before the emperor of China. By the way, if you find something holly, I might be interested in it. Show it to me.
Or Hui Neng; “In essence there is really nothing, on what can dust gather? I hope you don’t mind if I chop that one up for convenience.
Emptiness does not have aggregates, traits or bits of individual, separate character.
Of course we left it open, but watch what you accept.
In one of my experiences from the practice of zazen meditation I remember walking by a funeral. The experience for me was “don’t they know, there is nothing to grieve for? But then as a therapist I also know that grieving is a natural process that nurtures us and makes us more able to be more feeling as a person.
Since you are writing about death, here is one that has come to me; I haven’t shared it in writing before:
In a closet, a shirt fell from a hanger (like Dogen’s body and mind falling away).
Let it all fall away.
Looking up at the hanger, as if looking back at life,
Don’t get hung up there…
Then in the end, all of these insights are impermanent, falling away, falling away; or to write them down and share them with you.
Gassho,
O. B. Ray
12) Drive all Blames into One. (Suffering has no other cause than Ego Clinging)
Belief in reincarnation is the ultimate in ego clinging. “Kids say the darnedest things”, and if speculating on all this is fun – go ahead.
Pat Quinns last blog post..1.d.) First, learn the preliminaries (4 of 4 parts)
I believe in reincarnation.We all are very sure about our death and is unavoidable.It is told that we came to the human level after taking millions of birth, trevelling all the lower or higher forms of live.
Our feature should be decided after considering our present kerma or work.
Death is boundry of seas once crossed cannot returne with same boat of this Body.
Until we find full proof of reincarnation materially for the present science we find our self nearing death.
Regards
This is a test…
I don’t know if reincarnation exists or not. I do know one thing though…
If I have a choice, I will NOT be coming back here again. I feel like I’ve lived many lifetimes already and I’m very tired and ready to hang it up, lol. I mean that seriously.
Max,
And if you are really liberated you will not need another life anyway. What you came to do, has been done. Why return to form again.
I would be bowing all over the place.
Gassho,
O. B. Ray
When you lose someone close to you it makes you think really hard, so many things left unsaid and to do, how to see them again ? Its the only thing i dislike about reincarntion
i think life is abig stage or like anexamining paper .you need to do your best to get high grades and that is of course your deeds .simply we are inside the realm of almighty allah and as humans we seek for eternal happiness….
I do believe in reincarnation. When I was young I got really sick and while my grandmother sat by my bed side praying I would get better. I looked at her and said to her “do you know who I am” and with some disappear my grandmother looked at me wondering were this topic was going and “no, who are you” and then I told her “my name is Tedimody” with shook my grandmother started to cry. Now for those still not following the story, my name is Jaimie and Tedimody happened to be my grandmother daughter that had died at age 2. Most people ever knew about her as she was my grandmother’s first child and because she had died at such a young age, in my culture you don’t really talk about young children that pass. So, how is it that I clam to be this girl I knew nothing about? In addition, may year later I met a lady on a train that told me I had been in this world before without me asking her, and come to find out later she was a psychic. I have come to find this topic about rein carnation interesting and do believe more and more that I have been in this world before.
While experiences and opinions are valuable they can often lead us astray. Believing oneself to be a be a rock can not make it so. In the same way, believing or choosing different beliefs of the after life and who is the ruler of the after life does not change who the true ruler is. It is very egocentric to believe that the afterlife is also all about us and our desires. It would wise to not pick our beliefs like we do food at a buffet but seek the truth. If we truly seek the true God and what he says about the after life, he will be found… He loves to disclose himself to those who seek.
Question… If Jesus thought there were multiple ways for you to be reconcilled to God, do you think he would have willingly given his life in such a painful way?
Answer: since Jesus’ story is a fairy tale, it’s not an interesting question.
Besides, many people gave their lives in excruciating ways for their own different beliefs, no evidence makes your jesus story any more valid than theirs. (btw, the bible ain’t evidence).
There is no God except allah and Mohammamed is his final prophet and messenger. All these talks about reincarnation are kufr and those who talk stuff like this are doomed to hell for an eternity. Ameen
Charming Ameen, thanks so much for your intelligent input into this discussion. I for one will be delighted to learn that there is no chance of YOU being rencarnated! asshole
This may upset some people, but after years of contemplating this, I wonder if reincarnation actually matters. Since it is intimately connection with the idea of karma, it seems to me that what matters most is how one lives NOW as this will affect one’s future. So, while thinking about past lives etc. may be entertaining, what should be getting all my serious attention is how I live and behave now. I don’t care what I was in the past. I only care about how I treat current situations and people now.
Eric´s last blog ..Meditation is not about learning to meditate
good post.
I was reincarnated
hi
There is no God except allah and Mohammamed is his final prophet and messenger.
dont think about reincarnation or nothing not mentioned by islam. These kind of experiences are created by shaithan (iblees), inorder to change muslims mind and to through them into hell. in islamic view life after death is very clear, mentioned by prophet
that all persons should have questioning regarding his knowledge of GOD, messengers etc after death.
and on the day of judgement each and every seconds of our life is checked and questioned it longs several thousands of years .if you are a beliver and succeeded go to heaven and not to hell
Hi… I have been searching the internet lately for topics on reincarnation and I found this one. After reading some of the posts, I feel as though this is a great place to pose my comments/questions. Our only child/son, passed away at the age of 21 on 9/3/02. He was an amazing old soul and taught our family so much about life… .way more than we taught him. He was a philosophy major in college and would write the most profound papers… they were amazing… I never knew how he knew the stuff he wrote about.
Anyway, he was a passenger in a serious car accident in 2000 and while he never said, I am pretty certain he had a near death experience. His four right fingers were amputated and he had to have skin grafts on his right leg. His injuries didn’t stop him and continued to work, etc., although he was different. He seemed to start drinking more… and would often make comments about wanting to go home… which at first, I thought he wanted to leave college!! DUH!
The weekend he passed, my husband and I went to see him at our little beach house, where he was living while going to college. When we got there, he had already started drinking, which I think he did because he had such a hard time living in this world. He would get so angry at the news and always say that he couldn’t understand how people could treat each other so badly… he would always say… people don’t get it… we are all connected!!! We got into an argument about his drinking and he started crying. He said to me… “You don’t understand… I just want to go home… ” Then… I knew what he meant… Naturally, I was worried about him and immediately thought he may be thinking about suicide. I said to him.. you would never … and he said “No, mom… I would never do anything to hurt myself… but I was supposed to accomplish a lot in this lifetime and I screwed up…. but it’s ok… I’m going to come back and get it right.” Not knowing what to say through my sobbing, we hugged and cried together… The next morning, he never mentioned anything about it so I thought maybe it was just the alcohol… We spent the next two days together and had a great weekend… We left on Monday evening and he called us when we got home. I told him to call me the next day (his first day of his senior year) and let me know how his classes went and he said he would.
The next morning I woke up and did not feel well at all. I went into work late and left early. After several calls home and other things that were so well orchestrated by a much higher power than I could imagine, the police came to our home and told us that our son had drowned. We immediately thought it was deliberate, however, the Medical Examiner called us and told us that he had suffered a head injury… probably while surfing … and was knocked unconscious and drowned.
Needless to say we were devastated… he was our life… our best friend… our teacher… and now he was gone. We went to see several mediums because we wanted to know for sure whether it was an accident or not. Every person we saw told us that it was a tragic accident… HOWEVER… he wanted to return home and “God” answered his prayers.
Then, about 6 months ago, I went to see a person I see one a year… she is fabulous as a medium and also all around great person. She had told me once before that our son had a chance to reincarnate… but never said anything more. Then six months ago, she told me he was back. He was born … possibly on the day he passed… (9/3)… and his mom is a very young single mom. She said that he would come back into our lives.. mainly for me to help him accomplish what he came to do in this life. She told me that he is supposed to do great things … especially in the coming years. Then, last week I saw a friend that also can communicate with the other side and she told me the same thing… that he was reborn… and also said that it was a young single mother. She also said that we would meet her and as soon as I saw the baby, I would know it was our son…. At first, it didn’t bother me… but the more I think about it… it does bother me. I feel as though it must have been us that weren’t good enough that he had to leave us and come back so soon. I believe in reincarnation but never gave it a whole lot of thought… and now two people tell me our son is reincarnated… within 7 years!! Has anyone ever heard of this before? I would love to hear if you have. Thanks so much for listening and sorry I ranted. Have a great week…
Dear CJ , you have been through a terrible tragedy.
As suffering human beings we try to make sense of a catastrophe. And because we can’t, we start to blame ourselves, like you do: “I feel as though it must have been us that weren’t good enough that he had to leave us and come back so soon.”
It’s obvious from your comment that you have been loving parents to your son. You did the best you could – and then the accident happened. Please don’t make your terrible burden any worse by adding a sense of guilt!
You ask whether your son has been reincarnated. I don’t know. Nobody can know – because the veil of death prevents us from seeing what lies beyond. I have my doubts whether visiting mediums will ultimately help you to heal from this terrible grief.
Maybe there is another way:
One way to honor your son is to plant something in your garden – or in a pot – that he would have enjoyed and go through a simple ceremony dedicating it to him.
Another way is to continue his legacy. He was obviously a very thoughtful and wise person. And reading your comment, I can see where he got that from!
Maybe you could start a blog to suppot other parents on their healing journey. You have much to give – don’t waste it!
I send you my heartfelt regards. Thank you for sharing your painful story with us, Carol.
Mary
← Previous Comments