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Do you sometimes feel grumpy? I do. It’s a mood that happens to all of us at times.Grumpiness is an important warning sign that our life is out of balance. There are some simple things you can do to bring your life back into line so that you don’t make a habit of being grumpy. After all, grumpiness kills joy and is hard to bear for our loved ones.

In the following I’ve listed 15 ways to get overcome grumpiness. On days that you feel grumpy, read through the list and address just one issue to make you feel better.

1. Acknowledge the mood

Grumpiness is hard on those around us. That is why it’s important to acknowledge being grumpy. Then our partner, family members or friends understand that the grumpiness is not about something they are doing, it is something that you can both examine without feeling anxious or threatened. On grumpy days, I tend to say to my partner: “I’m really grumpy today. I’m sorry I’m being difficult. It’s nothing that you are doing - please be patient with me.” If I say something like that, my grumpiness immediately lessens and my partner David is relieved.

2. Check your sleep pattern

How much sleep are you getting each 24 hours? I tend to get grumpy if I’m short of sleep. Maybe you can work out how much sleep you need for maximum functioning. You may find that you are trying to survive on less. My suggestion is to go to bed half an hour earlier each night for the next five days and then to see if you feel better. Personally, I find it difficult to go to bed earlier because I’m often immersed in writing or other things in the evening. To help myself, I set my alarm clock an hour before my designated bed-time. This allows me to make a slow transition and to maybe read a couple of pages in bed before going to sleep.

3. Do some exercise

When did you last get really puffed in the fresh air? Or when did you last break into a sweat through exercise? If you are feeling grumpy, chances are that you are not getting the exercise you need. Consider going for a brisk walk each day - even if it’s just for 10 minutes. If you find that difficult, you might like to join some exercise classes to make it easier to keep to a schedule. Try writing down an exercise schedule for the coming week and sticking to it. Then check out how you are feeling.

4. Explore stress

Are you stressed? Sometimes grumpiness is the result of too much stress. If you are, make a list of what is most stressful for you, in order of importance. Each day, tackle one issue that creates stress. For example, in my life everything to do with tax makes me feel quite stressed out. However, once I start tackling problems in this area of my life, my stress level immediately lessens.

5. Have fun

When did you last do something that was just pure fun? Make sure that you plan something each week that you really enjoy. If you’re not having fun in your life, start something new. Go to dance classes or cooking classes, enroll in a theatre sports class, start potting, or gardening, or surfing. I started kite surfing a couple of months ago. That’s fun -even when your whipped off your feet, go splat in the sea and are then dragged along upsidedown under water!

6. Avoid negativity

I notice that when I’m grumpy I seem to collect negative thoughts in my head. Everything seems to get a negative slant. There is a simple way to change this negativity pattern which I learned of a few weeks ago. I read about an American pastor who issues purple bracelets to his flock. They are asked to change it to the other side, each time they start to complain. The goal is to go a whole 21 days without a complaint. You can read more about that here.

When I had a grumpiness attack last week, I thought I would try this method. But I could only half remember it. So I decided to change the rubber band to the other wrist each time I had a negative thought. I tell you, it kept flying from side to side…! I was quite shocked to notice how many negative thoughts my mind generates when I’m grumpy.

8. Revive your spiritual practice

Usually there is something askew in our life when we’re grumpy. Check to see how your spiritual practice is going. This might be meditation, or mindful exercise or prayer or visualisations, or communing with nature, or many other ways of linking in to a greater view that is not just focussed on ‘I’, ‘me’, ‘mine’. If you are grumpy it might mean that you are neglecting this important part of life that can nurture us so deeply.

9. Check your goals

Sometimes grumpiness means that our life has drifted into a backwater. Do you have goals? If so, are you following your goals. If you set any goals at the start of the year now is a good time to dig them out and reread them. Are you on track? Maybe there are some long-term dreams that you are following. You may be caught up in the complex process of managing life day-to-day and may have put your long-term dream on the back burner, ready for ‘when I have time’. Instead, you may want to consider assigning just a little time each week to further your goal. For example, I’ve got a novel in the early stages. Each week I use just 30 minutes to muse on the storyline and write just a little. This keeps the project warm.

10. Take a mini break

When did you last have a holiday? Sometimes we put ourselves and our needs last, instead of listening to our mind and body. If you are grumpy, you may need to have a break. One way to do that is to designate one day in the coming week as a ‘holiday’. Imagine that you come the the place you call home as a tourist. For a whole day, do things a tourist might enjoy. If you have friends or family, rope them in. Playact being tourists!

11. Eat better

What have you been eating lately? Are you eating enough good quality food? Or are you just bolting down food between working moments? Maybe you can choose one evening in the coming week for cooking a special meal. Invite friends and chill out together. You may notice your grumpiness receding.

12. Check your health

Sometimes grumpiness can be a sign of health problems. In particular, chronic pain can lead to grumpiness. Allow me to ask you some questions: Is your energy lower than usual? Do you have ongoing pain or discomfort? Are you worried about your health? If you answer ‘yes’ to any of these questions, you might like to consult a physician and check out your health.

13. Take time for YOU

Grumpiness can be a sign of resentment. And resentment is a warning sign that we are not respecting and holding necessary boundaries. If you find it difficult to say ‘no’ to requests, you may find that you are overloaded with work and chores and have no time for yourself. You might like to consider setting aside even just one hour for you each week. In this hour you can do whatever you like. I suggest, however, that you use active recreation instead of passive recreation. Passive recreation means watching TV mindlessly for example. Active recreation means doing something to feel better.

14. Lift self-esteem

How’s your self-esteem? Are you full of self doubt, or do you feel confident about who you are? Low self-esteem is linked to negative self-talk. The more you allow your mind to talk in a negative way about yourself, the more your self-esteem plummets. And the more your self-esteem plummets, the more likely you are to cut yourself down with snide inner remarks. There is a way out, though. It’s a three-step process that I practice.

• Step 1 is noticing when I’m being cruel to myself.
• Step 2 is to stop the thought. If this is difficult I say firmly to myself, “I let go now”.
• Step 3 is to slowly place your hand on your heart region and keep it there for a complete in- and outbreath.

Try this magic - it really works!

15. Play with kids

When I’m feeling grumpy, I go and visit my favourite young friends, Mary and Anna. They immediately involve me in whatever they are playing and I’ll suddenly be transformed into a star, singing in front of thousands, or into a master detective, crawling through the garden to solve a crime. Instead of nursing my grumpiness, I’ll suddenly be rolling on the ground in a wrestling match, or playing tag on the beach. That’s great medicine!

16. Help others

Helping others can lift us out of grumpiness. The only thing you have to guard against is complaining about any aspect of your life while you are helping others. Is there anyone amongst your friends or neighbours who needs help? Maybe you can find a simple way to assist them. Can you offer childcare for a day, or bake a cake, or take them to the doctor, or write a kind email, or ring them up and ask how they are doing. Keep the focus on them and not on your own woes when you are in contact. A good way to do that is to simply listen to them. That can be your greatest gift to another person.

17. Use Expressive Writing

If you find that your grumpy mood is becoming a habit, try expressive writing. It’s one of the most powerful self-help techniques. Make time for yourself and sit down in a quiet room. Then start writing. You can start quiet simply by starting out like this: “What I am grumpy about is…” Just let the words flow onto the page without stopping. If you find it hard to continue, write. “Actually, what I’m really grumpy about is…” You may be surprised to find what appears on your page! If you do this 3 times a week for 3 weeks, you will feel a marked improvement.

I hope that these 17 tips will help you find a way out of grumpiness. It’s very important to learn to control grumpiness because it can become a mindset. Learning to control grumpiness means bringing more light and happiness into your life.

I’d love to know how you get on with these 17 tips. What are your thoughts on grumpiness? Maybe you have found something that helps you to escape grumpiness? Please share it with us!

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Copyright: Mary Jaksch 2008

I hope you like the new look of GoodlifeZen! A lovely friend of mine, Alfredo Piccardi, was the catalyst for this new look and designed the lovely header image. Thank you, Alfredo!

Check out 2 guest posts I wrote:

• Zen Power Writing: 15 Tips on How to Generate Ideas and Write with Ease
• Zen and the Art of Travel