Comments on: From Lust to Losing Your Mind: Science Reveals the Secrets of Love – Part 1

By: Trent M.

Trent M. — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 15:57:22 +0000

I suppose I can only relate to the lust aspect, being as young as I am.
But it would be awesome if my parents would think more about this. :C
My mom tries, she does. But my dad is so oblivious and prude. She feels so lonely and it makes me sad.

By: Terry

Terry — Wed, 16 Apr 2008 03:28:37 +0000

Great comment Roy & Amazingmess! I couldn’t have typed it any other way. Thumbs up

By: AmazingMess

AmazingMess — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 21:02:22 +0000

For almost twenty-five years my lovely wife and I are married together and we are entering a new stage in our relationship now all our kids but one have left and our nest is becoming empty. The past twenty years most of the quality time was for the kids and now my wife and I are kind of rediscovering eachother. Not as crazy as in our early years (pity), but more deeper with a capability of sharing long silences with eachother, knowing out of this twenty-five years conquered experience what and what not to touch in eachother. We have more time to spend together and are finding new things to do. We are entering the autumn of our life and this brings its own beauty and wonder. I think it’s an honour to be able to participate in this deepening and silencing of our love. Maybe of all ways the way of a long life partnership is the most ancient and natural mystical way.

By: Mary Jaksch

Mary Jaksch — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:25:16 +0000

@Kelly
Yes, the falling-in-love stage is wonderful and crazy! But for me, like for you, the stage of mature love is way more valuable.

In past relationships I have strayed here and there. What that’s taught me is that it’s not worth it. So now I’m totally committed to being faithful. Because after the moment of excitement there come the long years of living a lie. I just can’t do that anymore – it would destroy me and it would ultimately destroy the beautiful bond I have with my partner. As you say, ‘You always pay a price with the soul mate, and for me that would be too high a price.’

By: Mary Jaksch

Mary Jaksch — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 11:17:20 +0000

@Evelyn Lim
It’s quite strange thinking back to being in love. I hardly recognise myself

What I’ve noticed is that if I focus on the aspects I value most in my partner – and let go of the small niggly irritations – I start to fall back in love.

By: Kelly@SHE-POWER

Kelly@SHE-POWER — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 03:22:18 +0000

I have been with my husband for almost 11 years now and so I am well and truly in that attachment stage. He is like my twin in so many ways and I love seeing how the connection deepens with time, especially after you have children. Our ability to read each other’s minds and experience the same thoughts even while he’s at work 1.5 hours away amazes me and I couldn’t imagine sharing my life, my heart and soul with another.

That said, I don’t necessarily think long term sexual monogamy is natural for many people, and I do miss the lust stage of relationships. I love the feeling that comes with the first time your eyes lock with someone else, the first kiss, the exploration of a new connection. Physically, this is a beautiful thing and so separate to love. It’s a shame we can’t find a way to have both: an everlasting bond with the perfect soul mate and the occasional fling with someone who gets our hormones racing. I know open relationships exist of course, but from what I’ve seen most human beings just aren’t capable of sharing the body of someone they love. You always pay a price with the soul mate, and for me that would be too high a price.

Kelly

By: Evelyn Lim

Evelyn Lim — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 09:27:49 +0000

The article made me remember about how it felt like when I first fell in love with my husband. There was a surge of sentimental thoughts.

Thanks!!

Evelyn

By: Mary Jaksch

Mary Jaksch — Fri, 04 Apr 2008 10:17:15 +0000

@Roy
“Testing the waters with both feet” made me laugh. I tend to jump into life ‘boots’n all’! And that sometimes means finding myself out of my depths.

My sense is that friendship is the most important part of a loving relationship. Strong friendship endures. So, maybe your wise suggestion to ’smile, breathe and go slowly’ is also about building a strong foundation of friendship first.

By: Roy

Roy — Thu, 03 Apr 2008 20:59:36 +0000

Hi Mary,

The exciting journey from “being in love” to “true/committed love” is indeed challengingly wobbly. Just be careful not to test the waters with both feet. This path demands Time to “smile, breathe and go slowy.”

By: Mary Jaksch

Mary Jaksch — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 03:37:10 +0000

@ Remarkablogger
Thank you for your lovely comment, Michael! I think you are right, love is not just a biological accident. One of the things I’ve noticed is that I feel more loving when I remind myself over and over of my partner’s aspects that are dear to me, instead of feeding the little annoyances that are a natural part of relationship life.