Photo by Alykat

Now is a good time for compassion and forgiveness.

Are there things you find too hard to forgive? The following story of Peter and Linda Biehl is a wonderful example of what compassion and forgiveness can achieve.

 

In 1993 their daughter, Amy Biehl, an 26-year-old Fulbright Scholar, went to South Africa to work in underprivileged communities. Shortly before the end of the apartheid era, Amy Biehl was stoned and knifed to death by a crowd of young blacks.

 

As you can imagine, Linda and Peter were devastated. After a while they decided to visit South Africa to understand what Amy’s life had been like. They visited Guguletu, the back township where Amy’s killers grew up. As they drove slowly along the potholed streets and saw the hostile glances, they locked their car doors and hunched down in their seats. Afterwards, during an interview with CBS Linda said, “I can understand how, if you were a youth living in these condition, you could be stirred up, and you could become violent.”

 

Peter and Linda then decided to establish the Amy Biehl Foundation that offers after-school and vocational training to young people of Guguletu and other black townships.

 

Meanwhile, the four young men who killed Amy were pardoned and released from prison in 1998 after serving four years. Soon after that, two of them, Easy Nofomela and Ntebecko Penny, made contact with Amy’s parents. You can imagine how hard it was for Linda and Peter to meet face to face with the killers of their daughter. But when they saw how bleak their prospects were, they decided to offer help and support to Easy and Ntebecko. They started training as builders in one of the Biehls’ programmes and have since been involved with a construction company that the Biehls started.

 

It’s terrific to be able to do that,” Peter Biehl said. “It just absolutely sets me free.

 

This story shows how powerful and healing the journey of compassion can be. Whenever I balk at forgiving someone, I remind myself of the Biehls and their journey of healing. Then I open to compassion and take the first step of forgiveness - which is stepping in the shoes of those who have hurt me.

 

Please forgive someone today and feel the freedom of compassion.

***

PS. This post is part of the group writing project called “Spread the Love” run by Albert of Urban Monk.Net, Wade of The Middle Way, Kenton of Zen-Inspired Self Development.


Comments

27 comments

1. Ben on 24 December, 2007 at 6:24 pm #

What a great example of compassion. A lovely post Mary!

It reminds me of something I read by the Dali Lama only yesterday. “it is the actions of human beings rather than the human beings themselves that make them my enemy. Given a change of behaviour, that same person could easily become a good friend.”

Merry Christmas Mary.


2. Kris on 26 December, 2007 at 4:38 am #

Great post Mary, stories such as this when told continue to give all of us a base by which to operate.

Namaste,

Kris


3. Mrs. Micah on 27 December, 2007 at 12:49 pm #

Lovely post. Forgiveness heals us as well as the world. (the picture is lovely too!)


4. Mary Jaksch on 27 December, 2007 at 5:33 pm #
@ Ben
Thank you, Ben. I love the Dalai Lama’s saying that you quoted. It’s so important not to confuse people with their actions. We can hate or disapprove of their actions, but still see the person with compassion. Difficult, but possible - and necessary for spreading peace. Nice blog, Ben!

5. Mary Jaksch on 27 December, 2007 at 5:38 pm #
@ Kris
Welcome Kris - it’s always a pleasure to welcome a fellow blogger! I agree with you that this story offers us a base to work from. It’s like a yardstick with which we can measure our growing capacity for compassion.

6. Mary Jaksch on 27 December, 2007 at 6:22 pm #
@ Mrs. Micah
Welcome to Goodlife Zen! Yes, your comment is so true ‘Forgiveness heals us as well as the world.’ I like to think that everyone of our actions spreads through the world - even though we are unaware of it. We forgive someone, and this forgiveness inspires others to forgive, and on and on it goes. I reckon that world peace starts with each of us practising forgiveness!

7. deb on 28 December, 2007 at 6:32 am #

Thanks Mary, wouldn’t it be great if we heard news like this on the radio and tv every day.

I was stunned to hear on Christmas day, a news item about the food that prisoners would be getting that day. The official from Corrections department was assuring listeners that the only difference to each prisoners menu was the addition of a mince tart at lunchtime, and that was still within their $4 (per day??) budget for food.

I feel outraged that the media, on our behalf, feel that they have to investigate to see if prisoners are being treated “too well” on one of our national holidays. This is indicative of how media and some groups continue to push for harsher sentences.

Where is our national compassion?


8. Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker on 28 December, 2007 at 8:59 am #

Mary, thanks for sharing the story of the Biehl’s and their acts of compassion.


9. Mary Jaksch on 28 December, 2007 at 11:34 am #
@ Deb
Ah - ‘national compassion’ - now that’s something that I haven’t considered. Compassion always seems to me to be an individual thing. But, you are right - we also have a standard of ‘national compassion’ that we as a society subscribe to.
What’s your sense of how we can change that?

To avenge wrong-doing is an atavistic instinct. As the bible says: “An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.” It’s mindblowing to see how the Biehls sidestepped this desire for revenge.


10. Mary Jaksch on 28 December, 2007 at 11:38 am #
@ Patricia
Welcome to Goodlife Zen, Patricia!
I am glad you too are touched by this story. For me it is one of the stories that set a benchmark. It allows me to measure my own capacity for forgiveness and inspires me to expand my heart of compassion.

11. deb on 30 December, 2007 at 1:30 pm #

National Compassion.

I suppose it starts with individuals making the decision to act with compassion. Then, like the 100 monkeys, when enough of us are living with compassion, the rest of the nation also start to act with compassion.

I have read about nation’s having their own “karma”. I know that how nation’s develop, who immigrates here, how the land was settled, etc, all are part of what makes our culture and has an enormous influence on how we respond to different situations.

I sit zazen and do metta because I believe I can make a difference. If we can’t - then what is the purpose?


12. Vitor - The Fratal Forest on 1 January, 2008 at 1:52 am #

What an inspiring post! I am still learning to treat myself in a compassionate way first, and then let it flow out to others.

I do agree that even the smallest actions can inspire others, creating a chain reaction. I covered that concept in detail here:

http://fractalforest.wordpress.com/2007/12/09/magnitude-and-chaos/


13. Mary Jaksch on 1 January, 2008 at 6:23 am #
@Deb
Thank you for reminding us of ‘National Karma’. I was born in England and grew up in Germany. Well, as you know, Germany carries a heavy load of ‘nationa karma’. When I still lived there, I talked to a lot of people about their experience of Hitler and surrounding horrors. What many said was that things slowly changed as Hitler gained more and more power. By the time some people felt alarmed at the direction things were taking, it was too late to speak out - because that would have put your loved ones in jeopardy.

14. Mary Jaksch on 1 January, 2008 at 6:29 am #
Welcome back, Vitor. I read post ‘Magnitude and Chaos’ on your blog and thought is was very interesting. For me it’s a wakeup call to rememer that each of my actions isn’t contained in my ‘private’ life, but flows out and has reverberations throughout space and time. In Buddhist terms that’s Karma.

15. Rahul on 2 January, 2008 at 11:48 pm #

Very very inspiring post. thanks a lot.


16. Mary Jaksch on 3 January, 2008 at 7:56 pm #
Welcome to Goodlife Zen, Rahul. I’m glad you liked this post. I wrote to the Biehls and let them know about this post so that they know that that their compassionate action lives on as a beacon for us all.

17. Albert | UrbanMonk.Net on 5 January, 2008 at 2:46 pm #

Mary, thank you for this post. The story is truly inspiring, how people can change their pain into understanding and use it as a force to do good.


18. Wade M | TheMiddleWay on 8 January, 2008 at 11:07 am #

Hi Mary,

That’s a very touching story. The power of love and forgiveness is very beautiful. Thanks for your entry.

Peace,

Wade
http://themiddleway.net


19. Mary Jaksch on 10 January, 2008 at 9:17 pm #
Thank you for your comment, Wade. It’s so helpful to have actual life stories that illustrate what lived compassion could look like.

20. Wade M | TheMiddleWay on 10 January, 2008 at 11:08 pm #

Hi Mary,

Congratulations! Out of the amazingly high quality results, your entry has been selected as a winning entry. Please e-mail me your postal details so we can get The Now Watch out to you.

Thanks again for entering, and congratulations.

Peace,

The Three Monks
http://urbanmonk.net (Albert)
http://kentonwhitman.com (Kenton)
http://themiddleway.net (Wade)


21. Kris on 11 January, 2008 at 4:32 am #

Congratulations on winning Mary, great post.

Kris


22. Akemi on 11 January, 2008 at 5:33 am #

Great story. I had to quote this in my post Forgive, Not Forget

Akemi


23. CG Walters on 11 January, 2008 at 10:12 pm #

Thank you, Mary, for this inspiring story. The positive effects of what the Biehls had the heart and spirit to introduce into our world surely does not stop in South Africa.
Many blessings,
CG


24. Rahul on 11 January, 2008 at 11:11 pm #

Congratulations Mary!

Great example of compassion, which needs to be practised all over.

Big thank you to the Biehls, who through their strength & compassion, provide us with hope, and some very important lessons.


25. Ilchen Retief - Amy Biehl Founation SA on 24 January, 2008 at 12:08 am #

Dear Mary

Thank you for your article on the Biehl family and forgiveness. I work for the Amy Biehl Foundation in South Africa and would like to share with you what we do.

The Amy Biehl Foundation is a non-profit organisation whose programmes are designed to develop and empower youth in the townships and contribute to community building efforts as a mechanism to reduce the levels of crime and violence in these areas and to give these children a brighter future. Our mission statement of “weaving a barrier against violence” is achieved by providing educational and cultural activities that offer students healthy alternatives to crime, drugs, sex, idleness and negative influences and unlocks their creative talent with the aim of giving them opportunities to become future leaders, entrepreneurs and well rounded citizens in a global society. Our programmes currently reach over 3,000 children every week, and include:

After School Care , Sport including soccer, hockey, swimming and the first and only Golf Driving Range in a township, Music, Including Violin, Guitar, Recorder, Marimba, Choral Singing, and Brass Band, HIV / AIDS Peer Education, Greening and Environment, Creative Arts, Including Drama and Dance (Kwaito, Modern, Traditional and Ballet), Youth Reading Role Models & Prison Outreach.

These programmes place a focus on the creative side of the children’s brains, and supplement the shortcomings of the educational systems. There are great inadequacies in the impoverished township schools in which we work, creating a dire need for our programmes. During the course of the school day many students are not given the opportunity to tap into the creative side of their brain. Through our programmes we allow children to supplement what they learn during the course of the school day with creative programmes that let them express themselves and think freely in an imaginative environment. Providing these students with meaningful opportunities helps to grow the economy moving forward, as the next generation will be better equipped to deal with the challenges of tomorrow.

The number of children we are able to reach is dependant on the amount of support we get. Funding and support is needed to continue and grow our vast array of programmes so we can continue our vision of providing a brighter future with greater opportunities for children from disadvantaged communities.

Please also visit our website http://www.amybiehl.co.za for more information.

Warm regards
Ilchen


26. K Stone on 6 February, 2008 at 4:13 pm #

Thank you for this incredible story. I’m sure it will help me.


27. Mary Jaksch on 6 February, 2008 at 8:41 pm #
@ K Stone
Thank you for you comment!
I’m happy that the Biehls know that their story is on this blog and that many people are reading it. It’s good for them to be reminded that their story of suffering brings spiritual nourishment to many people.

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